


A Legacy of Duality

by DarkMage13



Series: A Dual Legacy [1]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bendemption, Canon-Typical Violence, Dark Rey, Dark Rey is Antagonist, F/M, Fix-It, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Ghosts just hanging out, Force-Sensitive Finn (Star Wars), Grey Jedi, HEA Guaranteed, Influences from The Rise of Kylo Ren, Mildly Dark Imagery, Minor Character Death, Morally Grey Ben Solo, No Pregnancy, Palpatine does not show up he is mega-dead, Post-The Last Jedi, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rey & Rose Tico Are Best Friends, Rey Nobody, TROS Fix Fic, is Darth Darcy a tag?, no children
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-02-22 17:29:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 64,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22253203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkMage13/pseuds/DarkMage13
Summary: "I would think the powerful Kylo Ren, heir to Vader's great legacy, would be happy I was repairing the lightsaber that you and I destroyed. The saber is not for anyone except…" She set it down, not willing to finish the sentence."Except?"She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to fight tears.Ben Solo.She was repairing it to give to Ben Solo.In the following months after Supreme Leader Kylo Ren's shameful defeat on Crait, he is ousted by the First Order for his weakness and slow but sure change of heart. To his dismay, the Last Jedi Rey is overtaken by the dark with promises of saving what she loves in the midst of her isolation and loneliness.Kylo Ren has only one mission: save Rey from herself and restore balance in the Force.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: A Dual Legacy [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1739332
Comments: 95
Kudos: 103





	1. Master of the Knights of Ren

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first (serious attempt anyways) Star Wars fanfiction (so minor errors regarding lore will occur and I apologize in advance). Like most of my writings, it's a fix fic, and one for fixing TROS. There is no Rey Palpatine/Skywalker in this. Ben Solo lives. HEA guaranteed. And more Rose Tico. Basically, anything that was retconned from TLJ in TROS is not in this story.
> 
> Updates will be slow for a while since I usually like having the source material in front of me as I write, as much as I am not a fan of the source material. Most things in this fanfic will be drawing upon TFA and TLJ more than anything.
> 
> Note 5/13/20: I have fixed up minor grammatical errors, prose, and tweaked some minor details to retain consistency. Thank you for reading.

_A Legacy of Duality_

_Chapter 1: Master of the Knights of Ren_

The First Order's reign continues with Supreme Leader Kylo Ren at its helm, sending out searches from planet to planet to find the Resistance, but holding out on striking back.

The Resistance has gained more allies over the past few months thanks to the renewed hope from Luke Skywalker's return, turning the tides of war in their favor. Infighting within the First Order has been destabilizing it and the Resistance is merging closer and closer to victory.

Meanwhile, young Jedi Rey has been meditating alone on the Force, with some aid from General Leia, but the Force connection she shares with Kylo Ren continues to plague her doubts and wear down her patience.

* * *

It was silent on the upper level of the star-destroyer and flagship _Finalizer_. None of the secondary personnel of the crew were doing their usual tasks of inspecting the electric panels or cleaning the floors.

That was the first thing that tipped off Kylo Ren.

He flared out his cape as he stalked the empty and cold halls. In his grip was the last item he was possessive of to an unhealthy degree: the helmet that he destroyed with his own fists, still in pieces and still unusable. In the back of his mind, he shoved back the reason he kept this symbol of humiliation, propping up intimidation and masking his real emotions within physically rather than with an aide.

 _She_ had cut herself off from the Force. Completely. He couldn't sense her anymore, see her, or even feel her gaze of disappointment over his choice. She refused him, he refused her. He was Kylo Ren; he was far in too deep into the darkness to be ever worth coming back over to the light.

As he stalked the walls, the feeling of the inevitable was coming. His own Knights of Ren knew he was being weak, that he failed several times over to resist the Resistance. He elected to pin the blame on _her_.

He turned the corner and came face to face with General Armitage Hux.

"Supreme Leader," Hux uttered stiffly.

Kylo stared at him, indifferent to Hux's presence, or the figures lingering behind Hux. He recognized the helms and armor of the Knights of Ren. His former comrades now turned against him.

Just like Luke Skywalker did.

Just like _she_ did.

"General Hux, what do you want at this hour?" Kylo said, keeping his face emotionless.

"I regret to inform you that a Resistance ship, an old vessel, escaped our clutches again and have made out with various supplies in our cargo hold."

A pang in his chest. He had a very good idea of who was on that ship.

For the moment he had to disregard his thoughts and his escaped chance to see _her_ again in the flesh outside their now-disregarded Force bond. Steeling his brows in a tight line, he kept his voice into that of underlying anger. His posture straightened and clutched his broken helm tighter.

He was Kylo Ren, Master of the Knights of Ren for the next few minutes.

"Anything else to report?"

"I also regret," Hux took a step forward, trying hard not to show a smirk of pure malice, "That Supreme Leader, you are no longer welcome within the First Order."

"And who shall rule instead. Without me," he said, knowing this was a losing battle already. "You will have no foot to stand upon. Do you forget my power?"

At least four of the Knights of Ren were standing with Hux. They reached for their lightsabers, not yet activating their blades. With slow steps, each Knight encircled Kylo, tall and vigilant in their stances. Kylo reached for his saber on his belt.

Something shook in the Force. The lingering feeling of some completion returned to him, soothing yet, not entirely all there. The empty void left by _her_ absence in the Force was slowly coming back to him. But his luck was failing him. _Her_ gaze was burning into his skull from across the room. Of all the times the Force would connect them it had to be now when he had to face his most inevitable defeat and him at his most weak.

"Your weakness, your disregard for the Resistance; I fail to see how I would lack any footing here. I shall be the Supreme Leader and will finish what you and Snoke could not: destroy the Resistance and bring Snoke's killer to justice," Hux declared.

The hiss of four lightsabers igniting rang in Kylo's ears. "You want to know the truth, General?" he said, drawing out each word.

Hux raised an eyebrow at his posturing. "What?"

Kylo took a step forward and prepared his lightsaber, the energy shaking with unsteady force in his steel grip. "I was the one who killed Snoke."

"Knights apprehend the traitor!" Hux ordered, stepping back without tearing his malice-filled grin away from Kylo.

Even with the gaze of her still lingering on him, Kylo raised his lightsaber to stab the first knight coming at him while force pushing away two knights at his flank. He missed. A step behind him alerted him to an incoming strike. He ducked down, the blade narrowly missing his dark locks. The hot buzzing of the saber whirled in his ear. He sliced at the leg of the assailant in front of him, a leg coming clean off. With a scream, the Knight fell over on the wall and clutched at their knee.

Kylo, still ducked down, twisted around and clashed blades with two Knights. The other two at his flank charged at him, having recovered from their collision with a wall. Redirecting the two sabers he flipped backward, a new trick he learned from watching _her_ practicing. He had to pick his battles now; he couldn't just use his rage to fuel his dark side, or what rage was left within him.

In the past few months, he found it hard to keep up his anger, instead crawling into a desperate shell of himself wallowing in self-pity and misery.

So he did what he had to do. Standing his ground, Kylo, knowing _she_ was still watching his every move but not the context surrounding each action, concentrated on the force and sent the Knights of Ren flying into the air. With a turn on his heel, he began to sprint away.

Hux shouted more orders, fury shaking in his tone and echoing down the hallways.

It was then that Kylo didn't feel the connection anymore, but _her_ presence in the Force remained. It was a relief that _she_ had not closed herself off again.

Two knights managed to recover from his use of the Force, chasing him straight to the elevator past a storage closet. Kylo stopped before the entry and slammed his fingers into the buttons. It opened, and Kylo backed into the small chamber. He stuck his hand out to force the wiring and crates in the storage closet out to hit the Knights. He closed the doors, moving down to the main hangar where his ship was. Stepping out he destroyed the elevator's controls with a few broad slashes of his volatile red lightsaber.

Looking down at his helm, he decided best that there was no way he could keep this item anymore with its associations. So he dropped it.

He steeled himself again and walked as if nothing was any different, ignored by officers and guards. Climbing aboard his TIE- _Silencer_ , he settled himself in, breathing in the dry air and reaching for the main clutch.

Taking off, he let the Force guide his way out. He knew that Hux would go straight to firing upon his vessel, but it would be a few minutes before that would happen. He picked up on the speed, forcing himself to concentrate on getting out of range before Hux could do anything.

As predicted, the long-range cannons were firing at him. Breathing in and out slowly, Kylo put his experience to use and flew up and under, narrowly missing each cannon fire like it was second nature.

It was at this point Kylo did not know where he was exactly headed once he was long out of range of the cannons and the fleet. For all his meticulous planning, anticipating this coup weeks in advance during the midst of his isolation in the Force, he hadn't considered where he should even go. His first instinct was to go to the Resistance, but he knew he was a dead man on sight if seen. He knew all this time where they were but destroyed the evidence, hoping that Hux wouldn't find them.

He wanted to see _her_ more than anything. He needed to get somewhere first and pray that the Force would connect them again. He wanted to talk to her and ask the one question that had been keeping him up at night.

Why did Rey cut herself off from the Force?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I totally got the idea for the title from Kingdom Hearts. XD


	2. The Scavenger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The light cries out for the dark silently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm blown away by the response to my very short first chapter. Thank you all for the subscriptions and comments! It means so much to me.

_Chapter 2: The Scavenger_

Rey was shaken from what she had witnessed. In her mind, she saw what she most feared when she finally allowed herself to be reconnected with the Force in a week.

It drove her in agony having the Force at times connect them. Kylo Ren would stare at her, she would stare back. He would watch her as she trained. Sometimes she would pay attention as Kylo shouted at someone she couldn't see, but she expected them to be a general or some other lowly First Order member.

It was beyond pathetic to watch as Kylo sulked most of the time, looking at her as if she was the one who hurt him. She closed the door on him, hoping he got the message. But no, he was just sad and miserable and it just drove her up the walls. And feeling it between their bond wore down on her. It stalled her training at times. She was mad at herself for getting her hopes up in the throne room of the _Supremacy_. How Rey begged him not to give in to his strong lust for power.

Their last Force conversation was her breaking point.

"Rey," he called out to her, a first in many months.

She looked up from her task, staring at the broken lightsaber in her grip. Pages of the ancient Jedi textbooks were laid out on her cot, barely decipherable and worn from the ages.

Pooling over her legs was the same grey robes she had found in that box along with Luke's lightsaber, the very one she was trying to repair. Sometimes she felt Kylo's eyes staring at her clothes, and then a hint of amusement on his mouth like he was internally laughing at some joke. It shouldn't be amusing to him now, especially since she wore the same robes all the way to the _Supremacy_.

"I'd rather not talk, _Kylo Ren_ ," she said, abrupt and not willing to deal with him currently, or really deal with him at any point.

"You need a new piece for the hilt, it's too damaged," he said as the tool in her hand slipped out of the socket of the metal pieces. "It won't protect your hand properly even if you get it to work."

She glared at him, feeling like she was being talked down to, even though his tone remained ever gentle and soft to her ears. "Just because you're the Supreme Leader doesn't mean you can tell me what can and cannot work. I will get this lightsaber to function."

"Why are you trying to repair it?" he questioned, his smooth voice shaking through her. Her breath stalled as she thought of an answer and he continued to speak. "Why won't you let the past go? Why replicate my grandfather's saber? Why even bother fixing it at all?"

"You said it was yours once," she huffed. "I would think the powerful Kylo Ren, heir to Vader's great legacy, would be happy I was repairing the lightsaber that you and I destroyed. The saber is not for anyone except…" She set it down, not willing to finish the sentence.

"Except?"

She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to fight tears.

 _Ben Solo._ She was repairing it to give to Ben Solo.

He swallowed, knowing he wouldn't get the answer unless he pushed, and he didn't want another repeat of what happened in the throne room months ago. "If you're so insistent on making a lightsaber, I don't think Skywalker's fits you."

Rey's eyes snapped open. She had to hold back a sniffle to coherently speak without letting him know she was about to cry seconds ago. "What?"

"You fight with a staff, using both ends right?" Kylo noted, carrying the same curious tone that he had when their Force connection first happened. "Then… I suggest looking to an older style of lightsaber to construct, as I did."

The connection ended. Rey still had Luke's lightsaber in her hand. She glared at it, her tears clouding her vision.

She failed to understand even to this day why he begged her so much to join him, to rule the galaxy. He was likely relentless in trying to find the Resistance, and she knew it was to find her, to beg her again to join him. Whatever, she wasn't his. No amount of convincing would work.

In her frustration she threw the lightsaber at the wall, her blurry vision struggling to look at the Jedi pages she saved.

At some point in the night, she decided to do what Luke had done because she couldn't just stand to look at Kylo anymore, a reminder that she was truly, utterly alone, and the Force would do anything but listen to her wishes.

However, Leia noticed even though her attunement to the Force isn't quite as strong as Rey's or Kylo's.

"Rey," Leia said to her as she pretended to meditate on a rock. Their current rebel base was in the dense forests of Ajan Kloss, and strangely, it has been their home for the past few months. Somehow, the First Order had not found them, not that anyone was complaining really. It gave them time to regroup and receive supplies.

Rey even went on some supply runs of her own in the _Falcon_.

Leia asked a question she didn't want to answer. "You've gone silent in the Force."

Rey could explain it. Maybe. It was complicated with how Leia was the mother of Ben Solo.

Only Ben Solo. Not Kylo Ren.

Rey breathed in and out. "It's…" How would she explain? She couldn't put it into proper words, so all she managed to squeak out was "It hurts."

Leia nodded. Rey looked at the general with tears. Leia opened her arms and Rey embraced her.

"I was so sure," she choked out against Leia's shoulder. "I felt the conflict and I saw his future…" Her words drifted off, the memories of her Force visions flooding back to her like a freezing rain pounding her shoulders. The warm reality she saw was now drowned in harsh cold. Ben Solo stood by his mother, by Rey, by the Resistance, sharing smiles. She was in his arms, safe and secure, loved unconditionally.

Leia was her only other comfort now and it was very little compensation.

"I got my hopes up that Ben Solo would turn and he didn't and he asked me to join him," Rey continued, tears still dripping down her cheeks. "I know you said there's hope and that Luke believed he would turn but it's been so long now and nothing has changed."

Leia pulled back and gave her a smile. "I think things have."

Rey sniffled. "How?"

"Allow yourself to reconnect with the Force, Rey. It may offer you answers."

The general walked away, leaving the young Jedi to reflect on her words.

Rey looked down at her belt. The lightsaber that once belonged to Luke Skywalker, to _Anakin Skywalker,_ was fully repaired, but she didn't need it anymore, not once she finished constructing her own.

Sitting back down and breathing in and out, she allowed herself to call out to the Force. And the Force responded in kind.

To Rey's dismay, the Force opened their connection immediately, and before her was Kylo, glaring at someone with his lightsaber ignited and illuminating his face with a menacing red glow.

Rey only watched the scene unfold, not actively participating; hearing his words as he fought back whatever was attacking him. Then he ran and the Force closed their connection.

She had no idea how to take that, other than he was in a battle and he was retreating. He had confessed that he was the one who killed Snoke, which meant he was wanted for treason.

Supreme Leader Kylo Ren was on the run from his own military.

Rey walked back to her tent as daylight fell, and contemplated about what it all meant now. If Kylo no longer held power, then who did?

A restless sleep overtook her.

* * *

Answers came with the sound of hurried footsteps and the clicking of blasters.

Rey's eyes snapped open and she reached for the repaired lightsaber by her cot and ran outside. Resistance members scattered about.

"What's going on?" Rey said out loud, hoping to get the attention of anyone who was willing to explain anything.

To her relief, Rose Tico ran up to her, panic on her dirty face. She must have been working on a ship of some sort before the commotion started. "The First Order is attacking us."

"After months of nothing? How did they find us?" Rey questioned.

"That's what Poe is baffled about. Hurry, they're landing."

Rey followed Rose to the command center where General Leia Organa, Poe Dameron, and Finn were standing around a map of the area they occupied.

"How many are attacking?" Leia asked.

"Only two divisions worth or so," Poe explained, pulling up the holographic map before them.

Rey spoke up before she could stop herself. "Any Silencers?"

Poe shook his head, confirming Rey's suspicions. "None."

Leia looked at Rey with a curious eye. "Poe you have permission to proceed as see fit. We won't need a retreat, not yet, unless we got a dreadnought on us. Finn, mobilize our ground forces in case they decided to land."

Poe and Finn nodded. "Yes General."

Rose stepped up to Leia. "Need me to check our supplies for our ships?"

"If you can," Leia said. Rose saluted.

The three left the room, leaving Leia and Rey alone for a few moments before chaos reached them. "Rey, is there something you need to tell me?" Leia said.

Rey steeled herself to speak her thoughts but the moment didn't allow her words as they were already interrupted by C-3PO. "Princess! I regret to inform you that there are ships landing as we speak."

Leia sighed. "Then, ready yourself, Rey. Are you able to fight?"

Rey nodded with her, brushing her fingers over her lightsaber on her belt. "Yes."

"May the Force be with you."

Rey made her way outside, listening for the sounds of blasters firing and Resistance members shouting for backup or landing. Walking into the woods following the sounds of ships flying overhead, she sensed something in the Force.

Another Force-sensitive, one she didn't recognize, was nearby. She chased the source of the sensitivity and found a figure dressed in black. The person was around her height, maybe even shorter, and they had a red lightsaber in their hands.

Rey braced herself by pulling out her own saber and igniting it. "Who are you?" she demanded to the figure.

"Ap'lek Ren," a feminine voice spoke through the distorted translator of the helm she wore. "I am here for the Last Jedi."

Rey braced herself, her brows tight. So now she faced other Knights of Ren. "Why?"

"Because our _master_ ," Ap'lek Ren said with much venom. "Is weak. And we seek another."

Something in Rey broke at that moment. The mere mention, the suggestion of their leader sent her into fury. Anger shook her fists, her shoulders, her jaw. She charged forward at Ap'lek Ren, immediately shoving the knight on the defensive. Rey had no poise. No grace in each movement. It wasn't a dance like she had in the forest of Starkiller Base with Kylo himself.

This was raw. Uncontained. Her muscles sang with each swing and push of her lightsaber.

Ap'lek Ren took steps back, only blocking or parrying each blow from Rey's lightsaber. It was clear from how Ap'lek was unsteady that she didn't expect Rey's rage. Lifting her red saber up, Ap'lek sliced at the tree by them.

Rey stopped her assault to see the towering tree falling on her and she moved it aside with the Force. The trunk landed behind her and she stalked forward towards her target, lifting her hand up and freezing Ap'lek in place with the Force.

Something vibrated in the Force. It was different. It was pulling. It was the same sensation she felt on Ahch-To when she sought answers. It was what swirled around Kylo. It was a comforting feeling to Rey, as much as it pained her to be reminded that Kylo was still alive while Ben suffocated.

And it was helping her keep the Knight of Ren in front of her in place.

Ap'lek couldn't even struggle against the vice-grip of the force. Immobilized like a statue, the red lightsaber fell out of her clutch and onto the jungle floor.

Rey glared at the knight. "What do you want?" she demanded.

Ap'lek breathed heavily through her mask. "We need a new leader. A new master. One who is so strong in their convictions."

Rey tilted her head. "So why are you here? Attacking the Resistance?"

"Our new Supreme Leader demanded it, as we suggested it first."

New. Kylo wasn't leading anymore. The Force connection showed him being overthrown to her.

"I sense the darkness in you, you're using it to chain me right here," Ap'lek continued. "We seek out the dark side of the Force. It is not inherently evil. It just is. Think about it, Rey of Jakku. The longer you hold me here the more you slip down farther."

Rey had enough. She was suddenly reminded of how the dark side was a slippery slope to something dangerous. She loosened her grip on the Knight of Ren and stepped back. Ap'lek gasped for air as she stood up, reaching for her lightsaber only to be greeted with a blue beam of light at her throat.

Of course, the scavenger had one more demand. "Where is Kylo Ren?" Rey spat, pulling the red lightsaber to her free grip and deactivating it.

"The irony of you not knowing where our former master is," Ap'lek retorted, not giving her anything else to work with.

"Rey!" Finn's voice called behind her.

She turned her head and that allowed Ap'lek to grab her red lightsaber and slice a tree, almost landing on Rey herself. Rey cut the trunk in mid-air with her own saber and turned back around to see the Knight of Ren had fled.

"They're retreating," Poe's voice followed Finn's.

Rey gritted her teeth as she walked over to Finn and Poe. They looked rather rumpled with their clothes covered in dirt and sweat, but no injuries on their persons.

"Who was that Rey?" Finn questioned, his tone half concerned and half angered.

Rey deactivated her saber and put it on her belt. "A Knight of Ren. Ap'lek."

Poe furrowed his brows. "Another one?"

Rey tilted her head to the commander. "There were two?"

"Yes, among a bunch of stormtroopers there was a man in black demanding where the Last Jedi was."

She bit her lip in thought. This was too much. Too much. The thrill, the comfort the darkness gave her, the ache for the man hidden in Kylo, the Knights of Ren wanting her to join them. Too much.

Without a word, she began walking off into the forest. Finn reached out for her asking where she was going.

"I need to be alone," she said in a monotone voice. "Tell General Leia that the First Order is under new leadership."

She was always alone. Always.

Leia watched the holographic map flicker. Connix and the other leaders, including Finn and Poe and the droids stared at her in the dead silent room, waiting for her reaction to the news.

"Whoever is leading the First Order is not going to stop with this skirmish," Leia declared. "The previous leader either didn't find us or didn't want to destroy us."

She knew that her son had a change of heart. Leia held that hope with her even when all seemed lost. Losing Ben and Han, finally getting Han back, then losing him at the hands of Kylo, it hurt. It was hard to lead with the pain crushing her shoulders. But she knew, she knew that something had changed ever since Crait. That little spark of light Rey saw once still lingered and grown into something more.

Reality reminded Leia that the light in Ben Solo came with consequences.

Kylo being overthrown meant that he was the only line of defense between the Resistance and the First Order.

"We must prepare to move at a moment's notice. When the First Order strikes again, they will not be small skirmishes like this. We need to get in on the inside beforehand."

Poe stepped up to the plate. "General, we got someone who can help us. A deflector trooper like Finn."

Finn nodded. "She's injured in the fighting but she was in my squad and surrendered. Once she's out of medical we might have something to get the upper hand on the First Order."

Leia nodded. "Good. Lieutenant Connix, send out messages to our allies to see what information they might have on the new Supreme Leader."

Connix nodded. "Yes General."

BB-8 bumped Poe's leg as the meeting adjourned. Poe sighed, knowing what the little droid was begging for. His answer would be unsatisfactory. He crouched down to the droid's level. "Sorry BB, Rey said she needed to be alone."

BB-8 was definitely not approving of the vague answer, beeping quickly and harshly in response.

Poe shrugged, not sure how else to comfort his disgruntled droid. "Yeah I know she's always alone, but right now she looked on edge and we got to respect her space."

BB-8 beeped sadly back.

"I know buddy. I know."

Rose walked into the room after most of the leadership walked out. "Where's Rey?" she questioned Poe.

Poe stood back up properly. "She's out in the jungle."

"Alone?" Rose said, her lips falling into a frown. "Again?"

"Yeah. Again."

Leia couldn't help but listen in, her concern for Rey growing and growing with each moment. Her isolation reminded her of another's isolation. Even now, just like back then, Leia had no idea how to properly deal with it, nip the problem in the bud. She tried going to Rey many times, and it concerned her most with her sudden lack of presence in the Force.

Now Rey had reconnected and put herself in isolation again.

Leia ran a single hand down her temple, leaning against the table with the holographic map still flickering.

She wished she could talk to Ben, wherever he should be.

But what words would she be able to say to her son, who lingered in the dark for so long, who killed his own father, who once months ago wanted the Resistance crushed in his fist?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update probably won't be for a bit because Kingdom Hearts 3: Re:Mind is coming and that will consume my life (and hopefully ease the pain of having my OTPs torn apart asdfghjkl)
> 
> Funny enough for all my love of angst I haven't actually written a character falling from grace like this before haha.
> 
> See you next time!


	3. Into the Unknown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dark resists and the light falls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Mildly disturbing imagery (based off the TROS artbook) in this chapter. You've been warned.
> 
> Also a thank you to the super lovely Ksco for making a moodboard for this fic!

_Chapter 3: Into the Unknown_

Kylo Ren found himself being led through the galaxy by some sort of pull. He recognized its grasp; it was that of the dark side of the Force.

But it was like Snoke's signature. Rotten. Pure evil.

Kylo didn't want to go back to that. He loathed Snoke, finding the last few months without his tormentor freeing. He endured his harsh words, his coercing into the dark side for long bleak years. It was the worst part of his life, but he felt he had no choice, not after what Luke attempted to do.

When Snoke told Kylo to kill Rey, he refused to let that happen, he couldn't do it, ever. In all scenarios, in any universe, he would always choose Rey.

Kylo took a deep breath, his curious mind still wondering where exactly this evil pull of the Force was coming from. He followed his gut instinct and made his way through the system, noting that he was going right into uncharted territory. Where exactly was he going?

The planet he arrived upon made him stare in awe and horror. Exegol, a place where the Sith once gathered. He heard about it during his time at Luke's academy but it was just rumor and speculation. And now the Force led him here. He marked it in his charts in case he needed to return.

Landing on the dark planet and disembarking his TIE- _Silencer_ , he was greeted with no wind. The air was stilted amongst the clouds that covered the entire planet. The evil of the Sith still lingered around him. It was a familiar darkness, one he had unknowingly pushed himself away from in the months following Snoke's downfall.

He took one step forward, then another. The still of the air crackled with energy of the Force. Lights flashed above, darting through the clouds.

The dark side loomed over this entire planet as far as he could feel. An unsettling dread rose within himself, his gut screaming at him to turn back. Flee from the darkness that choked him until that fated day in the throne room. Kylo continued to follow the threads of the evil, walking closer and closer, determined to know what exactly the root of this evil was, and even be able to destroy it.

Walking into the unknown, he ignited his lightsaber. The energy of the Force crackled back at the sheer intensity of his blade in hand. The red light illuminated his way as he approached the cavern and found an opening.

Whispers rose, dancing in his ears. Kylo's breathing became ragged as all his doubts and words were shoved back at him.

_You'll never be as strong as Darth Vader!_

_You're just a child in a mask._

_You're a monster!_

_I will have killed the Last Jedi!_

_Your son is gone. He was weak and foolish like his father. So I destroyed him._

_Please don't go this way._

He blinked, trying hard not to let tears escape. He let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding.

_I never… I didn't want this._

The night that Luke tried to kill him was shoved back into his thoughts. He remembered the fear. He remembered the utter terror of betrayal shaking him as he stumbled out of the wreckage of his hut and been graced with seeing lightning strike the main temple.

The fear had consumed Ben Solo and given birth to Kylo Ren.

Kylo collapsed to his knees, trying to repel the memories of Snoke holding him in the air and using the force to inflict pain through every muscle and every bone through his body.

Yet all he heard was Rey's screams at this memory and not his own.

Snoke was always in his head, knowing every thought, every move he made. It was almost impossible to do anything of his own accord, except obey, even when he didn't want to kill Han Solo, not really. He only did it because he was sorely convinced that would end his pain. End his conflict. Push himself farther into the embrace of darkness.

Coming here was a mistake.

Kylo gripped his lightsaber with unwarranted strength. He breathed in and out as he stumbled forward closer and closer to a dull blue light in the crevasse he entered.

He had to focus lest his own demons kill him in this awful Sith-riddled place.

Kylo thought of Rey. How she looked at him through the bond many times. Disdain. Hatred. Anger. Flustered. Sadness. Tears.

Loneliness.

Understanding.

Disappointment.

He never wanted to see her like that again towards him. All he wanted to see was her smile once.

Her light was so strong. So beautiful. So alluring. His own darkness was pulled towards her light, linked together by a sense of mutual understanding. Kylo stopped his footsteps and leaned against the rock wall, lost in thoughts of Rey.

What he would give to see that smile.

In the months following Snoke's defeat, Kylo kept to himself, only inviting his Knights of Ren to overlook the First Order and keep an eye on other leaders such as General Hux. He didn't want the power, he didn't really want to be Supreme Leader, but he felt he had no choice, it was in the vision he had seen. He was Kylo Ren, feared and revered across the galaxy. The murderer of Han Solo. Master of the Knights of Ren. The one who killed Luke Skywalker. The Jedi Killer.

And so it began, slowly. He lowered the amount of guards around supplies, hoping the Resistance would take the bait. Any reports of misconduct or hints of spies he overlooked. Kylo didn't realize he was consciously supporting the Resistance until he saw some discussion that the Resistance's new location was on Ajan Kloss and destroyed all evidence, making said officers forget that was even a possibility.

He didn't want to tell Rey any of this, so he didn't; only staring at her whenever their Force bond opened. Kylo knew when she shut the door on him that nothing he did now would matter to her. He respected that, he made his mistakes, he deserved to pay for them, and his punishment was nothing from Rey. No words. No affection. No belief in him.

All he wanted now to be was himself. He wanted to make his own choices. No voices inside his head.

He closed his eyes, thinking back to when it all started when his emotions finally found some steady ground.

That one fateful day on Starkiller Base in the forest. He had reached out with the Force to collect Anakin Skywalker's saber in his grip, and instead it went flying to Rey's hand instead.

At that moment, he wanted nothing more than to have her at his side.

The whispers suddenly stopped. Kylo's eyes snapped open and he exhaled.

Somehow his thoughts on Rey were like a shield for him. He wanted to laugh. Rey was his light in this unforgivable place even when she had fully rejected him.

Moving forward he found a platform in a wide space. He took one step forward and it began its descent into an abyss.

When it stopped, Kylo stepped out. The whispers were gradually coming back, but all he had to do was think of Rey to push back against the voices. His mind was his own, and the only one he deemed to be allowed in was Rey.

He came upon a sight between two towering cliffs. A broken throne and someone gazing upon it, dressed in black.

The dark evil of the Sith swirled around Kylo. Whispers of the past came back in full force.

He squinted at the figure before the broken throne. This Force signature was familiar. He knew this person.

A Knight of Ren to be precise.

"So the fallen Master has finally found the lost domain of the Sith," the Knight said, turning around to face his master, voice distorted by the helmet on his head.

Kylo gritted his teeth, raising his still-lit lightsaber up to the Knight. "Why would you even come here, Vicrul?"

"The Force told me to, and I intend to carry on the Sith's legacy."

Kylo’s anger was rising. "The Sith are dead, as dead as the Jedi. No use in bringing them back." He sneered at the man.

"Ah, the Last Jedi still lives, however, killing her wouldn't do any good. No, in order to utterly destroy the Jedi and resurrect the Sith, we have to destroy her only hope," Vicrul spoke, walking in circles as if Kylo didn't have a lightsaber pointed at him.

Kylo stayed silent, thinking about Vicrul's words, trying to make sense of what the traitorous Knight was implying. He shoved down the impulse to have Vicrul’s head impaled on his crackling lightsaber for daring to entertain the thought of murdering Rey.

"Do not think your attempts to keep the Resistance safe from us went unnoticed. Hux caught on to your scheming. You care for the Last Jedi. You, who declared that the Resistance was dead, suddenly refused to crush them when you could. You, who said he would kill the Last Jedi. You're letting the light weaken you."

"Do you," Kylo retorted, forcing out words with seething rage. "Realize what the Knights of Ren stand for?"

"Simply going to the dark side and doing as it wishes doesn't offer enough. I see that now," Vicrul answered.

The whispers got louder in Kylo's ears.

_The son of Skywalker must not become a Jedi._

_If you will not be turned, you will be destroyed!_

_I find your lack of faith disturbing._

_Strike me down with all of your hatred and your journey towards the dark side will be complete!_

Kylo had to focus on Rey again to block the echoes, but he couldn't, not with Vicrul still walking closer to him, fingers moving to his own lightsaber.

"The Sith offers nothing but chaos. We are the Knights of Ren. The darkness is just," Kylo reminded him.

"Ah, but you no longer linger in the dark side, do you?"

Kylo lunged forward, Vicrul igniting his saber within seconds, blocking the blow.

"That anger could be stronger, Master," Vicrul spat, keeping a steady stance as Kylo's own blade pushed against his.

Kylo refused to listen to the voices. The evil voices he once yearned to hear from were nothing more than mere demons trying to pull him back in.

He was not about to give up his freedom.

Kylo pushed into the mind of Vicrul, always knowing that he was the stronger Force user, but was met with a shield. It wasn't anything like when Rey resisted his interrogation. This was something else. Something pure evil, like the Force swirling and crackling around Kylo ever since he arrived on this forsaken planet.

Something was moving between their lightsabers. Kylo forced himself out of Vicrul's head, focusing more on the clash between the two blades of red light. Some energy, raw and powerful and unyielding, twitched from the hands of Vicrul and up between their lightsabers.

Kylo pressed his strength forward, acutely aware that energy was not naturally produced from just anywhere. He took one hand off his saber's grip and focused. If Vicrul's mind was unshakable, then he would have to resort to other means.

Shoving the Knight back, the energy snapped. Lightning threw the two of them back, Kylo flung against the wall and Vicrul tossed off the ledge of a deep pit.

The lightning barely did any damage to Kylo, but he still twitched in pain. His fingers were numb and his side where his wound from Chewie months ago ached. He needed to retreat from this place.

Forcing himself up, he reached out with his good hand and pulled his lightsaber to his grip. He limped all the way back to his TIE- _Silencer_.

The whispers mocked him for his cowardice, but he was no coward, he knew this. This evil place would seek to disrupt balance. He would not bow before it.

All the Knights of Ren had truly turned on him. Questions swirled in Kylo's mind, but the lightning still had him damaged so he couldn't dwell on them for long as he left the atmosphere in his _Silencer_. He had to focus on getting away from this planet, out of the outreaches of the galaxy.

Kylo Ren swore to himself he would never ever set foot on Exegol ever again.

* * *

A twig snapped under Rey's foot.

Her lightsaber clutched in her grip, she wandered to her spot where she meditated and sat down on the large bolder. Reaching underneath the small gap of the rough rock, she pulled out a wrapped cloth and unfolded it. Metal pieces tied and pieced together held a crystal within. She lifted the kyber crystal out from the loose pieces, looking it over in her fingertips.

She found this kyber crystal when the Resistance was hopping from planet to planet trying to gain a foothold. It was currently colorless, almost white. Rey sat down, staring at it in her hands.

It somehow reminded her of her Force visions on Takodana. The first time she ever heard words that meant something, that told her she was important to someone. She thought it was her parents, but… It couldn't have been. Rey knew she was utterly alone. She breathed in and out, recalling her force visions as best she could.

_No!_

_It's energy._

_Noo! Come back!_

_Rey?_

_I'll come back for you sweetheart._

A soft whisper caressed her ears, nothing like the voices she heard in the vision. It was that same pull again she felt on Ahch-To. The same magnetizing energy from Kylo Ren.

Somehow it was very comforting. The dark held its benefits, it offered her answers, always. Even Kylo gave her answers once, but he refused to come back to the light with her.

Rey stood up, crystal still in her hand, and followed the pull through the woods. Coming across a trench, she pocketed her crystal and made a running start and leaped off the ledge, using the force to propel herself to the other side. She grabbed onto a root but her grip slipped and she fell several feet down below. Rey reached out and pulled a vine to her hand and latched onto it, halting her fall as she wrapped her legs around it.

The whispers got stronger and stronger, but still incoherent.

She climbed down on the vine, releasing when she was close enough to the bottom of the dark misty trench and landing with her feet.

A trance fell over Rey. Mindlessly she let herself walk forward deeper into the mist. One foot in front of the other.

Stepping into a wet cave, the sound of her clunking footsteps against soaked rocks and moss echoed off the walls. At the end of the tunnel was a small flat rock with an object shaped like a pyramid, untouched by age or weather.

Without another thought, Rey reached into her pocket and placed down her kyber crystal on the rock and touched her fingers over the golden pyramid.

It was like she had touched the lightsaber again. Suddenly the whispers were amplified in her ears. Loud and shaking and piercing her entire being.

Rey turned around and saw something blue in the darkness of the cave.

_You want Ben Solo back?_

The whispers said to her over and over.

She began walking purely on instinct towards the blue light. Walking turned to running; running turned into sprinting.

_Rey, I want you to join me._

Sweat formed on her temple as she chased after the blue light. Her steps upon stone turned to sand. It was like she was on a different planet.

_So the fallen Master has finally found the lost domain of the Sith._

Lights flashed above. There was no wind. No anything except power.

Before her was Kylo, and her anger rose within her stomach. Blood rushed to her knuckles.

"You're not Ben Solo," she declared.

His eyes met hers. "Ben Solo is dead."

"He's not!" Rey screamed, running past him and toward the blue light once more.

_Your son is gone. He was weak and foolish like his father. So I destroyed him._

Rey refused to believe Ben was gone. She couldn't be alone again. She was so tired of being alone.

_You can save him._

In the blue light and on the ground laid a very terrified looking young Ben Solo dressed in the grey and white robes of a padawan.

Her heart leaped. "Ben," she breathed.

A red lightsaber appeared in front of her, destroying the blue light and cutting through the darkness.

Rey recoiled back, reaching for her lightsaber and igniting it. The color wasn't blue however, it was _green_.

_He had sensed my power, as he senses yours, and he feared it._

Gritting her teeth, she swung at the red lightsaber. The eyes of Kylo Ren beat down upon her as their blades clashed.

_Finish him. Get revenge and save Ben Solo. Let your anger flow through the Force._

So she pressed back, forcing Kylo to take a step back. The moment of released tension was enough for her to disarm his volatile red lightsaber. With the Force swirling around her, pushing her, she reached out with her hand, adrenaline rushing through her blood.

And _tightened_ her fingers _._

The energy of the dark side was so enriching. So powerful. It was stronger than anything she had known. It was oddly comforting.

It was like being in a loving embrace she dreamed of once.

Rey blinked. The image before her of Kylo in the air, his hands reached for his own throat, it left her cold and empty under her skin.

She released her grip, but he was still choking. Oh no.

"Let him go!" Rey screamed at the whispers. Reality came crashing on her. She wasn't in control, was she? The line between reality and the Force was blurring together. What she did and what she didn't do in the Force vision was all mixed and incoherent.

_Only you can._

She shut her eyes, forcing her hand to relax.

Still, nothing had changed. She let tears flow down her cheeks as she reached out in the Force and made it stop.

And it did, with a crack.

Kylo and Ben were gone.

Rey was back in the cave, right where she was when she touched the golden pyramid.

The whispers were still caressing her ears, even as she redrew her hand from the surface of the object.

_How did it feel?_

Rey swallowed. It felt good using the darker side of the Force to make it stop.

Far too good.

She wanted more. That was the scary part.

Rey reached into her pocket and found the price for preventing the death of Ben Solo. A cracked kyber crystal.

Not destroyed. Not split in half. Cracked and bleeding.

Rey pondered the vision. If the only way to save Ben was to follow the dark side, allow it to guide her back to him, then so be it.

She wouldn't be alone anymore.

_Don't be afraid. I feel it too._

She wouldn't.

Rey took her steps out of the cave, her body shaking. The dark side offered her what she wanted most, but one thing still terrified her.

How easy it was to _tighten_ her hand out of anger, even towards Kylo Ren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus, Dark Rey was born. (I hope I did a decent job here with the force vision, I agonized over it the entire editing process lol.) A lot of this was drawing upon the chapter in my previous fanfic VS XIII where I wrote Noctis' nightmare in the Omen trailer. 
> 
> The title of this chapter was inspired by Amalee's dark cover of "Into The Unknown."
> 
> The Knights of Ren got some changes in this fic. Not all of them are male and yes they do have sabers. Tags have also been updated.
> 
> See you next chapter!
> 
> (Side note I enjoyed Re:Mind so much it motivated me to push this chapter out lol. That's how you do fanservice Disney.)


	4. More to a Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Understanding sometimes is so difficult to find.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title of chapter is inspired by this quote.
> 
> "There's more to a heart than just anger or hate. It's full of all kinds of feelings. Don't you remember?"
> 
> "Unfortunately...I don't."
> 
> -Kingdom Hearts 2

_Chapter 4: More to a Heart_

Rose Tico remembered when she first met Rey of Jakku, the Last Jedi. She heard tales from Finn whenever he visited her in the medbay while she recovered. How she swooped in to cover them on the old rebel base on Crait. How she was a student of the famous Luke Skywalker and would defeat Kylo Ren and the Jedi would be reborn with her.

They had just settled on Ajan Kloss and began building up their base in ancient ruins left behind.

Rose was happy to finally walk around after her injuries. She stretched her muscles and cracked her spine and neck, relieving tension bubbled up in her joints and bones. She made her way to the _Falcon_ to see if it needed any repairs. The old ship still gave as good as it got and it was the savior in the Resistance's darkest hour.

The ramp was down which meant someone was inside. Rose climbed aboard and went straight to the cockpit.

A woman in grey robes of the Jedi was on the floor, tools in her hands as she looked underneath the control panels with a tight brow and pursed lips. She stopped her work when she spotted Rose out of the corner of her eye.

"Oh, hello," she greeted, sliding out from under the console and brushing loose strands of hair out of her face. She held out her hand to Rose. "I'm Rey. I haven't seen you much before."

Rose took her hand. "Rose Tico."

"Finn's friend?" Rey said, the edges of her mouth curling up slightly.

"Yes!" Rose nodded.

"I'm glad you're okay and walking around. I'm just working on the _Falcon_. It took somewhat of a beating on the way here."

"First Order?" Rose pondered, tightening her lips in a line. Just what the Resistance needed.

"No, debris," Rey explained.

Rose's eyes flickered to the console, pieces on the floor. "Do you need help?"

Rey smiled again, but there was something odd about the action coming from her. "Sure. You know stuff about ships right?"

The two women would spend their free time repairing and upgrading the _Millennium Falcon_ when they had a moment to breathe amidst all the setting up and preparing for eventual attacks from the First Order. Rey was the legendary last Jedi so she spent hours in the woods by herself frequently, training with her staff.

One month passed. No attacks.

Rose found it suspect that the First Order hadn't found them, but she couldn't complain after their near-destruction on Crait.

One evening, Rose stomped over and sat down next to Rey as she worked on tightening the bolts on the ramp of the _Falcon_.

Rose realized during all her time with Rey that her smile never reached her eyes. It was like she was holding something on the inside, but Rey seemed more relaxed around Rose than she was around other Resistance members.

Especially tonight. Rey glared at the bolts of the ship, furiously working, but when Rose came over and sat down, Rey relaxed the tension in her shoulders.

"Credit for your thoughts?" Rose said, trying to take her mind off how infuriated she was.

Rey glared at the bolts. "Commander Dameron just prefers to keep me here for whatever reason and won't let me make supply runs."

Ah yes. Rose knew that Rey and Poe butted heads frequently. Rey was impulsive, and while Poe was too, he was less impulsive now which led to consistent clashing. Rose didn't blame Rey for wanting to get out once in a while, but of course, Rey was also a huge target for the First Order. The Jedi Killer Kylo Ren would stop at nothing to see her dead.

"I would say go without him but we all know how that would turn out," Rose joked.

Rey moved onto the next bolt. "I might just do it all things considered. We need supplies and the _Falcon_ can handle it best. It's my ship."

Rose laughed and leaned back on her hands, her fury over an insistent mechanic telling her she was wrong was forgotten. "Say, what do you think you'll do when the war is over?"

Rey dropped her tool. "I… I don't know."

Rose tilted her head. "No idea? Nothing you want?"

Rey reached her hand up to her arm, which had a wrap around her bicep. "I know I needed to help the Resistance but… I haven't thought much about what comes after. Most of my life was just trying to survive alone."

Rose knew she was hiding something but it wasn't her place to pry. "I want to honor my sister when it ends, properly. Paige helped take out one of the dreadnoughts and I owe it to her."

Rey looked at her with a very knowing expression. "I'm so sorry about your sister. Losing family has to be hard."

"Do you have any family?" Rose asked before she could stop herself.

"No," Rey answered, looking down at her hands. "I don't."

Rose felt that same sadness for her. "I'm sorry." She placed a hand on Rey's shoulder.

Rey smiled, but it still never reached her eyes. "It's alright. I… I do want one though. With… Well…"

Rose brightened up. "Like, you want to marry someday?"

Wait, was Rey blushing? Even in the low light of the _Falcon_ Rose couldn't mistake the red flush of Rey's cheeks.

"Yes," Rey said. "It's silly but it's more of… I want someone who understands me, to make me feel like I belong…"

"Sounds like you found someone already," Rose nudged her. "Who is it? Is it a man? Is he cute?"

Rey's entire face was now flustered. "Yes, but it's complicated."

Oh.

"Why is it complicated? I mean men are complicated so I am not surprised," Rose joked.

Rey withdrew into herself. "It just is. It's complicated and I…"

Something in the distance caught Rey's eye, for she was staring at a tree with a mix of horror and anger on her red face.

"Rey?" Rose called to her, trying to snap her out of her reverie. "You alright?"

"I feel like I'm waiting for something that will never happen," Rey said, never taking her eyes off the tree for a good minute.

Finally she tore her attention away from the tree and went back to her work.

Rose was utterly confused, but she let the topic be. It seemed to be a sore one for Rey and whoever the man was, she had to wonder if he hurt her in the past.

Or if Rey hurt him.

Rey had a temper, she was quick to anger and sometimes she would twitch her fingers as if she was itching for a fight, but nothing ever came of it. She seemed to keep herself calm and she would just stalk off into the woods, probably to vent her frustration on some unsuspecting tree.

As the months went by, Rose always noticed that Rey feigned smiling less and less and her patience shortened.

Rose stumbled upon her crying and a lightsaber on the floor in the _Falcon_. "You okay?!" Rose said, running over to the Jedi and placing a calming hand on her shoulder.

"I'm fine," Rey said, looking away to hide her tears. "It's just too much at times."

The pressure of being a Jedi certainly had to take its toll. Everyone looked at her with reverence and as a symbol of hope constantly in the Resistance. Rose didn't envy that at all. The Resistance itself was a symbol, but even so, they couldn't help themselves but to look to the Last Jedi as their hope, it was less burdensome on them that way.

Rey wiped away her tears and looked at Rose with a mischievous glint in her red-rimmed eyes. "I think I need to get out. Supply run?"

Rose smiled. "Poe won't like it. Remember last time?"

"Oh, I know, but it's my ship."

The two managed to sneak off with Chewie on a supply run and took out some supply posts owned by the First Order.

When they returned, Poe was far from happy.

"Again Rey?" he snapped at her. "These runs are too risky for the Last Jedi to get involved in, you know that."

Rey rolled her eyes. "I can do what I want, Commander. You're not my boss. We needed these supplies."

"But the Supreme Leader has a vendetta against you and your ship! Next thing you know his dreadnought will appear and shoot you out of the sky."

Rey opened her mouth to retort but then closed it, opting to stalk off in a huff.

Rose wasn't surprised at the statement. It was certainly true, but still.

Today when Rose woke up in the aftermath of the First Order's attack in the wake of months of nothing, she went to check on Rey meditating in the forest, according to Finn.

And was horrified at the sight of her.

Rey’s movements were rough and precise as she put together metal pieces into a long connected rod. She looked up from her work. Dark circles formed under her cold and unwelcoming glare. Her skin lacked its usual blush from movement or just working. She looked so sickly and awful.

"Did you need something?" she said quietly.

Rose looked at her friend, her stomach sinking. "Just wondering if you're okay? Finn told me you ran off yesterday."

"I'm fine, Rose," Rey snapped.

Rose took a step back in surprise and sighed. "We're here for you, you know."

Rey stayed silent.

Who was this girl? What had happened to her? Was it the skirmish? She heard two of the Knights of Ren were there.

Rose turned away and began walking back to the base, scared for her, but she could have sworn she heard Rey say one more thing.

"None of you understand."

* * *

Leia looked up from her datapad to see a short orange person standing before her.

"Leia Organa," Maz greeted her. "Took me a bit to find your base but it was surprisingly easy after I saw a certain _Falcon_ fly by in the distance."

Leia smiled at her, a silent greeting to an old friend. "Hello, Maz."

Maz placed a hand on the taller woman's own. "My condolences about Han."

That was all Leia really needed at that moment when it came to a painful subject. "Thank you, Maz. But I'm sure that you're not just here for offering your sympathies."

Maz smirked. "You needed help and I finally settled some business. Where's Rey?"

Leia sighed. "She has been off alone in the forest a lot. She cut herself off from the Force for a week. But she has now reconnected, though I felt something… Shift."

Maz's small eyes bulged wider under her goggles. "You're kidding? I felt it too." She tapped a finger on her lip. "Hmm. Did Rey bring anything back from her time with Luke?"

Leia nodded. "Yes. Some old Jedi texts that she's been using to try to repair the lightsaber with."

"A broken lightsaber? I might have to take a look sometime then."

"Rey said that they’re in her bunk on the _Falcon_."

"Do you know how the lightsaber was broken?" Maz asked, lowering her tone so the others in the wide room couldn't hear their discussion.

Leia nodded. "Both Rey and Ben broke it. It was snapped in half by the Force."

Maz rolled her eyes. "Well, that sounds just like them. I remember Ben being stubborn as a boy. Rey is no different in that regard. An equal match."

Leia let out a chuckle as she reached for a glass of water. "Oh yes. Ben is incredibly stubborn even to this day. So am I."

"Well, we know where he gets it from," Maz laughed. "I heard rumors about the First Order's leadership. How do you feel about it?"

The general put down her glass and folded her hands. "I think… Something had changed in him and it's only a matter of time. But, I want my son to come home willingly. It's his choice."

Maz Kanata couldn't argue with that.

* * *

Finn walked with Poe to the medical bay and found TZ-1719 resting on a bed with bacta patches on her legs.

She looked vastly different not wearing the typical stark white stormtrooper armor; then again Finn felt the same way about his own appearance.

She sat up. "Commander Dameron?"

Poe raised his hand. "Just Poe will do. You're doing okay?"

TZ-1719 nodded. "Yes."

Finn spoke up. "We'll need to call you something different. You're not TZ-1719 anymore."

Poe nodded in understanding, smiling with enthusiasm at the former trooper. "How about you choose?"

Her eyes widened. "What name would I choose?"

"Umm…" Poe started naming off names. "Sue? Chell? Henna? Jannah?"

Finn looked at him with an incredulous look, almost pouting. "You didn't have that many names for me."

"Jannah," TZ-1719 answered before an argument could break out. "Call me Jannah."

Finn smiled wide. "Jannah. Call me Finn."

Jannah smiled in kind at both of them. "Thanks. Poe. Finn."

Poe nodded, giving her a thumbs up. "So I'd hate to uh, be urgent, but…"

"Need First Order intel? I'm your girl," Jannah said.

A nurse came in and looked Jannah's injuries over, removing the bacta patches. "Be careful of walking too much but you should be fine in a couple of days."

The three left the medbay and walked through the massive Resistance Base. Finn chatted with Jannah behind Poe.

"So why did you leave?" Finn asked, curious as to Jannah's switch of allegiances.

"You fleeing gave me the idea but I needed to wait for the right moment. The Supreme Leader never gave orders—or even allowed orders—to attack the Resistance, so I was just a sitting duck."

Poe's lips pressed into a line. Something wasn't right. "The Supreme Leader? Kylo Ren?"

"Yes. I was originally supposed to guard rations and equipment but suddenly I was pulled off that assignment along with a few of our other comrades," Jannah explained. "I don't think we were ever replaced either."

"That…Doesn't sound like Kylo Ren," Finn said, hot anger returning at the memories on Starkiller base months ago. The scar down his back faded but still lingered. "The Kylo Ren I know almost blew us to bits and tried to kill me and Rey."

Jannah shrugged. "I once saw him arguing with a general in the halls over something while patrolling."

"Yelling at someone definitely sounds like him," Finn said, nodding along with what Jannah was speaking about.

"He was yelling at them because he refused to let more troops be abducted to his armies."

That stopped Poe and Finn in their tracks. The dawning realization hit them like a ton of bricks.

Poe ran his fingers over his temple. "Son of a blaster… And now he's no longer in charge?"

Jannah nodded.

Finn caught eyes of Rose sitting on a crate, tinkering with a device in her hands and eyes glistening. He rushed over to her and placed his hands on her shoulders. "Rose, you okay?"

Rose sniffled a little. "I'm fine. It's Rey I'm worried about."

"Where is she?" Finn demanded, fear increasing for his friend.

"She's in the forest but I don't think you should go near her alone Finn. She's…" Rose swallowed dryly. "We need to talk to General Leia first."

Poe walked over in time to hear the first sentence. "Well, we're on our way there. Come with us, Rose."

He offered her his hand and Rose took it, standing up and walking with Poe, Finn, and Jannah over to the main communications room, where Leia sat chatting with Maz Kanata at a table. Other leaders were looking over strategies and maps.

"Hey, Maz!" Finn waved to his old friend.

Maz and Leia paused in their conversations. "Is this the brave stormtrooper?" Leia asked, looking over at Jannah.

Jannah nodded. "Yes General. My name is Jannah, formerly TZ-1719."

"Can you tell us everything you know about the First Order?"

Jannah relayed what she knew about Supreme Leader Kylo Ren's actions over the past few months and how suddenly she was ordered to join a skirmish attack on the Resistance's main base.

"What was the order even for?" Leia asked.

"It was a test of defenses before they sent in a dreadnought or even two," Jannah explained. Poe pulled up a map of the planet, zooming in on the base hidden underneath foliage.

"And who were those two people in black?" Poe asked.

"Those were the Knights of Ren. They were brought aboard to serve as Kylo Ren's guard."

Finn squinted. "But they're still with the First Order? Kylo Ren isn't leader anymore, why would they still be taking orders for the First Order?"

"He has to have been overthrown by his own knights," Rose said. "But who leads?"

"General Armitage Hux is the Supreme Leader," Jannah stated.

Everyone looked at each other while Poe ran a hand down his face in exasperation.

"Right, General Hugs; forgot about him," he remarked. "So if Kylo Ren is the less pain-in-the-ass Supreme Leader, then that means…"

"Hux was the one who ordered the destruction of the Hosnian System," Jannah stated. "I was there for his speech."

Rose narrowed her eyes. "And now he's the one in charge."

"Which means he's going to launch a full-scale assault on us soon, and it won't be pretty," Poe said. "And then go on to conquer planet after planet."

Leia stood up from her spot and walked over to the map. "Exactly. We need to get info from our remaining spies on the inside now before this happens, and we need to be prepared for this invasion. Knowing Hux he will want some pomp and flair before destroying the Resistance."

"Got any ideas, Leia?" Finn asked. "Maybe we can also get the troops on our side."

Leia nodded, rolling the idea over in her head. "It's risky with how you're wanted by the First Order for your actions on the _Supremacy_ , but if Jannah deflected, many more will want to."

C-3PO, R2-D2, and BB-8 walked in through the open door. "General!" C-3PO said. "I regret to inform you our search on the Knights of Ren came up short. All we have in my database is the information on Master Ben Solo."

Poe sighed. "Right. The Knights of Ren are another issue to deal with."

"They're all Force-sensitive right?" Finn asked, wary of the fact C-3PO called Kylo Ren by his dead name. "That's something Rey can help us with."

Rose was reminded of why she was here. "Right! General Leia, I'm so sorry but… Something is wrong with Rey and I don't know what to do."

Maz, who had been silent and watching the exchange, spoke. "I feel something uneasy in the Force. Rose, what is wrong with Rey exactly?"

Leia placed a comforting hand on Rose's shoulder as Rose explained. "I don't know. She is acting even more odd than usual, like she's… Breaking."

Leia and Maz looked at each other in concern. "Rose, where is the _Falcon_?" Maz asked. "We need to hurry."

"It's off base to the north under two twin trees," Rose said.

 _Boom!_ The ground shook with unsteady tension.

Leia looked over the map. "The First Order are attacking again," she declared.

"General!" Lieutenant Kaydel Connix rushed in, her datapad flickering madly. "The First Order has launched another aerial attack."

"How many?"

"Around as many ships as last time."

Leia put her hands on the edge of the map. A second skirmish. "Commander you have the lead."

Poe nodded. "Everyone you know your position. It's a skirmish but we cannot take any chances."

Finn looked at Poe. "What about Rey?"

Maz was already out the door. "Forget the girl for now! You're under attack."

Finn didn't like that. He didn't like how distant Rey was to begin with but he felt he couldn't leave her alone.

Poe grabbed his shoulder. "Finn, if troops are on the ground then we need you and Jannah to hopefully win some of them over."

He was right. The rebellion came first. Gaining an advantage over the First Order was more pressing in priority. Finn knew it was important.

But if they lost the Last Jedi, then all hope died with her.

* * *

Rey put down the tool in her hand. The kyber was placed inside the long-but-not-quite-staff-like hilt of a lightsaber.

Over the past day, she mulled over her Force vision. She truly believed that the dark, the power she refused for so long, was the only answer. It could end the First Order. It could end this war. It could free Ben Solo.

The power that it granted her was like fire in her veins in the force vision. She still felt hollow having attempted to choke away Kylo Ren's air, even in a Force vision. No, she refused to use that tactic. She didn't need it.

She wasn't Darth Vader.

She wasn't Kylo Ren.

She was _stronger._

Rey lifted the lightsaber up and gave it a test. Two red light beams came out from both ends. She gripped it and fell into her natural fighting stance. The dual-ended lightsaber was vibrating with raw, unstable power. The twin beams were crackling with volatile energy.

 _Boom!_ Something shifted in the trees. She whipped around and spotted black in the distance. The Force signature alerted her.

It was Ap'lek Ren. "Back again?" Rey said with a glare.

"Ahh, you have shed the lightsaber of Luke Skywalker," the distorted feminine voice spoke from under the helm.

"I have considered your offer," Rey said, not willing to dance around and waste time. "But first, take off your mask."

Ap'lek nodded, taking off her helmet to reveal a pale-skinned, grey-haired woman. She was youthful and sported a painted black swish on her cheek, caressing the corner of her lips.

That was not what Rey was expecting, but then again she didn't expect the dark prince look of Kylo Ren either.

"Satisfied?" Ap'lek said, annoyance laced in each syllable. Her voice was rather high pitched and scathing when not distorted by her helmet.

Rey nodded. "I will not join the First Order. I will not support their activities. I want them broken down and eliminated."

"Ahh, I knew you would say that. We all felt it when the Hosnian System was destroyed."

Rey remembered all too well. The Force awakened in her and only a few minutes after that she felt billions of people and planets die. Then immediately she ran into Kylo Ren and was too weak to resist him. Too scared of what awakened within and too terrified of him.

"But," Rey said, picking up from where she left off. She held her crackling saber staff steady. "I will join the Knights of Ren."

Ap'lek smirked. "Perfect. However, you will have to board the First Order's ships for that."

Rey glared. "No. I want to find Kylo Ren."

"For what reason do you want to find our former Master?"

She bit her tongue, thinking of how she wanted to put it. "I have unfinished business with him to deal with first."

Ap'lek inspected her before a grin full of malice formed on her painted lips. "Oh, I see it now."

"See what?" Rey furrowed her brows.

"He protected the Resistance because you're his weakness. Don't get any funny ideas now about him."

Rey felt Ap'lek trying to push into her mind. Rey's knuckles turned white as she shoved Ap'lek back with ease. That had been so much harder against Kylo Ren, but that was obvious. She was his supposed equal.

Ap'lek sneered at her. "You…"

"Stay out of my head."

"Aww, the little Jedi is sensitive about me probing her mind. What? Do you actually care about the bastard?"

Rey couldn't lie. She found it impossible to lie. To deny.

She urged forth the Force with hardly any effort and threw Ap'lek Ren up and smacked her against a tree. She collapsed to the ground like a rag doll into the foliage covering the ground.

Rey gasped for air, tears dripping down her cheeks as her first taste of fully utilizing the dark side within left her shaking in fear. The dark side offered the salvation of Ben Solo to her but using it was terrifying and exhilarating. She now understood the complicated man that Kylo was.

No matter how much Ben Solo was gone, Kylo Ren was still a part of him. A darker, monstrous part of Ben, but still Ben in some way. She would have to reach into the darkness and pull the kindhearted merciful Ben out.

The sounds of weapon fire shook the sky in the distance, pounding her ears. The rush of power from drawing upon the dark side made her dizzy.

She felt it. Kylo Ren's presence in the Force, right in front of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! New update so soon haha. I have many notes on this chapter.
> 
> Ap'lek was heavily inspired by Larxene. I have no qualms about that fact lol.
> 
> This was the first time I wrote Rose, Finn, Maz, and Poe. Jannah is someone I'm still playing around with in my head and will probably not resemble the TROS version of her at all.
> 
> I want to make a Randy the Intern joke now in a future chapter but I have just enough self-restraint...mostly lol.
> 
> See ya next time!


	5. An Unbreakable Connection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The light loses to the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Important Note: We're now getting closer to what I wanted Ben/Kylo to be in TROS, that is to say, when the angst isn't making him miserable he's not exactly 100% sunshine light Jedi. I updated the tags to reflect this.

_Chapter 5: An Unbreakable Connection_

When Kylo Ren felt he was a reasonable distance away from that forsaken Sith place, he landed on the nearest planet he could find that wasn't occupied by the First Order.

To his dismay, it was also a rocky desert planet.

He was starting to really loathe the desert.

Kylo found himself under the shade of a twisted red cliff. Sand was everywhere in this blazing hot unbearable heat. So much sand. If he would die in this place, he wanted some witness to hear his last words. Sand is terrible.

He shed his tunic and his gloves and sat down in the endless sand. Sun was falling soon and there was no point in removing his cloak in case it got chilly at night.

For once he allowed himself to _breathe_.

Just breathe.

Kylo could feel the Force everywhere and anywhere around him.

Life.

Light.

Dark.

Balance.

It wasn't as easy to allow himself to be consumed by this sensation, having resisted it for so long, but now that he was able to let the tension roll off his shoulders and just breathe, he was all but too impatient to connect to the Force.

 _Both_ sides of the Force.

Kylo Ren was utterly terrified of what this meant.

Silence.

He blinked and the sight before him was unsettling.

Rey's eyes were red-rimmed as if she was crying, and gazing upon him with white-hot anger. She looked like she had no sleep. Her skin was pale and thin; her breaths were heavy and ragged.

Kylo stood up, unsure how to begin now that the force had connected her to him once again. His words stalled in his dry throat.

The only thing he could muster up at that moment was her name. "Rey."

"Kylo Ren," she responded with such venom it was like a different person spoke.

His blood froze. She had called him Kylo Ren before, but that was because she was convinced he rejected his old name. This, this was different.

"Rey, what happened to you?" He spoke, ever gentle still with her. "Why did you disconnect yourself from the Force?"

"Because Ben Solo is trapped," Rey hissed, sounding rather deranged now that Kylo thought about it. "And I will turn, free him."

He reached out with the Force and was met with something that was terrifying. It was something dark and twisted. She was embracing the dark side. She was _using_ it.

Kylo had seen visions of this moment, even dreamed of it, of Rey turning, but now… Now he was just unsettled by Rey ever turning to the dark.

"Rey why?" he could only beg her, conflict rising inside him. The Force responded in kind as he took one step closer to her. This wasn't how he expected everything. He expected her to still be working on that legacy lightsaber and looking at him with disappointment as per usual.

This woman wasn't Rey.

Wasn't _his_ Rey. Compassionate. Understanding. Fiery. Unyielding.

No, he knew he would never be with her. He focused on the task at hand.

Darkness was coming off of her, trying to pull him in. His breath hitched in his throat.

It was the same evil that lingered in the air on Exegol, but that wasn't possible. She'd never been there at all, as far as he knew.

She glared at him, a tear slipping down her cheek. "I cut myself off…" Her voice wasn't as full of venom but still cut like a saber. "Because I wanted to take your hand. _Ben's_ hand!"

That stopped him in his tracks. Did she just…

Of all the things and all the explanations he wanted, this was the last one he expected.

Something caught her attention, and she reached her hand out in the air and tightened her fingers in a very familiar grasp.

Time slowed down for Kylo Ren as he stared in horror as Rey was performing a feat only he had dared done many times. Bile rose in his throat as he took one giant step forward to her.

Not in any universe would he ever stand to see Rey fall down the dark side so badly.

"Rey!" He yelled out to her, his hand reaching for hers to stop her horrific action.

And their fingers touched, shaking both of them to the core.

He could see her surroundings. A rich green jungle forest with leaves as tall as he and mist hanging low.

But he couldn't see other things, only hearing them.

_Ben._

_I will have killed the last Skywalker!_

_You're a fool, Kylo Ren!_

_Give it to me!_

_Please._

… _Sweetheart._

And it hit him like lightning.

Sunshine. Rey in a beautiful grey dress, looking at him with love, on a beautiful balcony he had never seen before. The breeze fanned his face and her loose hair fell in waves upon her shoulders.

"Ben," she whispered.

She rose on her tiptoes, her arms around his neck and inched up towards his face…

He was ripped out of his vision, their hands no longer touching. Rey looked at him, seeing something else no doubt.

"You…" she breathed. "You saw…"

Kylo's eyes widened. Had she seen what he had seen just now? No, that wasn't possible. He had seen something different from her when they first touched hands all those months ago. She must have just seen what he once saw.

"You're in the desert," she only answered back. "I will find you, Kylo Ren. Ben Solo _will_ turn."

Oh no.

"Rey please!" He reached out to her again, agony shaking his voice as the connection ended.

He collapsed to his knees, burying his face in his hands. "Rey…"

Kylo's first logical conclusion was that bastard Vicrul got to her somehow. The second was a harder pill to swallow. Kylo himself somehow pushed her to the dark side. Her light was dimming, darkness taking over. It was tearing her apart, making her into a monster he didn't recognize.

This wasn't how it was supposed to go. The inner conflict of Rey's alluring light would tear her to shreds. She should still be with the light, a Jedi, a beacon of hope for the galaxy, and he was to play his part as the darkness, someone to be shunned and feared and reviled.

To see her like this broke his heart.

He had to save her, but how?

Tears he didn't know he was holding back fell, staining the black of his pants and his hands.

Of all people in the universe to save Rey from the dark side, he was the least qualified out of all of them. Kylo Ren, a monster. Who would have destroyed the Resistance if it wasn't for his own pain and humiliation at the hands of Luke Skywalker. Who would have killed his own mother if it wasn't for the conflict tearing his soul apart. Who would have pushed Rey into the dark side in the snowy forest if it wasn't for her light being so damn strong.

"Ah, a young Skywalker," a hoarse, graining voice spoke next to him.

Kylo looked up from his hands and slowly turned around to see a short green Jedi, glowing in blue light.

Confusion swirled around in Kylo's depressed brain. "Who are you?" he asked. "Master Yoda?" He recognized him in the Jedi textbooks he would read as a padawan.

"Correct, you are."

Kylo sighed as he stood up. Great, one of Luke's masters. He sat down on an old rotting log by his campsite and created a fire. The sun had completely set and as he predicted, a chill settled in.

A chill to match his mood. A chill to match his view and realizations.

"Are you going to spout words of Jedi wisdom at me?" Kylo said, feeling bits and pieces of Ben Solo's inherited penchant for a snarky tongue coming back to him.

Yoda closed his eyes in thought. "I do not intend to, nor will I."

"Then why are you here?" Kylo questioned, feeling his patience run thin. "Why am I seeing Jedi ghosts?"

"Answer your question, only you can."

Well, that was certainly helpful. Kylo rolled his fingers over his temple in exasperation. The one time he could get aide or counsel from a Force ghost and the vaguest one appears. Was the Force just messing with him at this point?

The truth was a shaky one, something that Kylo Ren wasn't entirely comfortable admitting yet.

That lack of conflict within himself didn't come from nowhere. "Because I'm no longer aligned with the dark side," he said, still not sure if he believed it yet.

"Ah, changed you have. Wishes to cast away the past, the Jedi Killer."

His temper rose with each patronizing sentence Yoda said. Of course, he wanted to cast the past away, kill it if he had to. But what would a Jedi Master like Yoda know? The Jedi clung to ancient ways which led to their downfall, strangling the Force until it suffocated. Luke wouldn't even let those teachings go, not entirely.

"To save the Last Jedi, the Jedi Killer wants?" Yoda spoke again.

Kylo stared at the flickering flames, illuminating the chilled air with sparks of ember. A bitter sentence left his lips before he could stop himself. "Are you going to stop me, to tell me to let the Force do as it must? That my fear of losing her is the wrong way? That it will lead me into anger and hatred and suffering?"

Yoda only smirked at him. Kylo stared in disbelief as the Jedi Master laughed for a moment and then looked at the lost man with sincerity.

"Stifling and preventing love, the greatest sin of the Jedi was. Was correct Skywalker, in saying the old Jedi must end."

"Luke said that?"

"More than one Skywalker, there is."

Kylo felt dumb. "Me?"

Yoda faded away, a smile of contentment on his face.

Kylo Ren wasn't sure how to take that exchange with Jedi Master Yoda.

"A thousand generations lives in you now."

He stiffened up at the voice, a hint of anger rising. Crait left some sore memories in his mind. "Luke?" he answered back, voice hoarse, trying not to shake with rage.

To his left sat Luke Skywalker. "Hey, kid. We got a lot to talk about."

The last thing Kylo wanted was to talk more after being left more confused by Yoda's words, especially not with Luke Skywalker of all people.

"There is nothing to talk about," Kylo said, words biting.

"Oh, believe me, Ben, there's plenty."

Kylo turned to glare at Luke. "No, there isn't. You already know. I killed Han Solo, I killed Snoke, I inadvertently killed _you_. I drove Rey away and I even said at some point that I would destroy her because she's right, I _am_ a monster. I almost destroyed the Resistance. I almost killed my own mother! And now I lost control of the First Order, betrayed by my own Knights, and on top of that, I'm going to die alone because I pushed Rey into the dark side and I have nothing. There is nothing left to talk about."

An unusual silence followed. Luke took to considering Kylo's words carefully.

"I sense you're lost and regretful."

Kylo, for the first time in over seven years, rolled his eyes. "Tell me something I don't know," he said.

Luke couldn't fight the smile and a chuckle. "Ah, I missed that."

Shame washed over Kylo at what Luke was referring to.

"You regret your acts and blame yourself," Luke stated. "Why?"

Kylo ran his fingers through his hair, trying not to let more tears fall. "Because I didn't want this. I just wanted the pain to end. And I caused them pain. I caused _her_ pain."

"Interesting," Luke mused. "Has the pain stopped?"

Kylo removed his hands from his hair. He didn't want to vocalize the answer. _Yes._

The conflict within him was simply gone. The pull between light and dark didn't tear at him any longer. The pain had stopped and he didn't even know it. It must've been months since it ended.

A moment of silence passed and Luke looked up to the stars, allowing Kylo's revelation to settle in.

"What are you going to do about Rey?" Luke asked, nonchalant as if he was asking about the weather.

Kylo stared at his hands. "I don't know. I failed her. I am such an idiot. If I hadn't done so many things I could have prevented this."

He couldn't come up with a better descriptor than that. He was simply an idiot.

"No, Ben. You and Rey were failed."

Kylo snapped his head up, staring in disbelief at his former master.

Luke continued explaining. "Just as the Jedi failed Anakin. Just as the son of Vader failed his students, both of them."

Kylo looked away. "Both of them?"

Luke put a reassuring hand on Kylo's shoulder, even though it wasn't really there. "I couldn't be what you needed, Ben. And I couldn't be what Rey needed. But you two need each other. You can end this cycle of failure, Ben, with this."

"How do I even begin? Rey wouldn't even listen to me," Kylo said, looking back at Luke.

"There is someone who will though," Luke said. "You're her only hope now."

The ghost of Luke left Kylo Ren alone by the fire.

He would set out in the morning to the Resistance Base.

* * *

Maz felt something shake in the Force again as she made way with haste to the _Falcon_. It was the same thing that occurred months prior, hours before the Resistance fled to Crait, or so what Leia told her of their near crushing defeat.

It was two halves of the Force meeting together. There had to be something about this.

Maz rushed into the _Falcon_. Chewie was outside of it, weapon in hand blasting back troopers.

She went to Rey's bunk, a repaired but fractured lightsaber on her small bed. Reaching underneath it she pulled the drawer open. Books from the Jedi still rested within. A few weren't touched in a long while, but the ones on lightsabers were. Maz brushed her fingers past the lightsaber texts and onto the books written in a most ancient language.

Lifting a couple of tomes out of the bunk drawers, Maz opened up to one of them. The language she recognized well enough even though it had been so long since she read it.

She flipped through the pages, looking for something on balance, and then it caught her eye. A word that she couldn't easily decipher or recognize as well as she would have liked. Squinting, Maz studied the word and the words around it for context until she finally figured it out.

_Dyad._

* * *

Rey had no idea what to expect when Kylo's hand touched hers through the bond.

For a moment she saw a desert. Kylo Ren was on a blazing hot planet somewhere. There were many out there, but this one was more red and rocky than the endless dunes of Jakku.

Then all the things she could hear loud and clear in her head.

_Only the Sith can save him._

_Be with me._

_The Resistance is dead!_

_Rid the galaxy of the Jedi Killer!_

_The First Order is over._

_I'll…_

And there she was, on a dark desert planet, the golden pyramid in her palm. Power surged in her veins as she clashed lightsabers against Kylo Ren's, but she couldn't see the color of his weapon. Voices swirled around her over and over.

_You shall have what you want._

"You're not alone," Kylo said. "Join me."

_I'll destroy her._

Kylo sat upon a dark throne, Rey with him, kissing along his jaw.

_You're still holding on! Let go!_

She ripped her hand away from his, her breaths shaking and chest heaving. A strange numbing pain poured through her entire being.

"You…" she breathed. "You saw…"

Her mind raced as his fingers twitched, aching to hold out his hand to her again.

She saw what he had originally seen when they touched hands on Ahch-To. Her at his side on a throne, ruling together. On the dark side.

It was sorely tempting to her now. So very much. As long as she wasn't alone in this potential future, she would chase it. It had to lead eventually to Ben Solo's salvation; the voice in the vision told her so.

_He shall be saved in this future._

"You're in the desert," she said. "I will find you, Kylo Ren. Ben Solo _will_ turn."

He reached out to her and the connection closed.

She turned her dark glare over to Ap'lek on the jungle floor, still gasping for air as her hands still lingered on her throat.

Rey lifted her up using the Force. "You will lead me to Kylo Ren," Rey said, voice monotone.

"I will lead you to Kylo Ren…" Ap'lek's voice cracked and rasped for air. "But we don't know where he is."

"He is on a desert planet with red rock. Find it and lead me to your master."

She let the Knight of Ren collapse to the ground in a tangle of limbs. "Get up now," Rey ordered. "Take me to your ship."

Ap'lek struggled to get up, but she did as she was told, too exhausted to fight back the command on her mind.

Rey followed her through the woods and to a First Order shuttle. With an order, she told Ap'lek to remain there for a few minutes while she went back to the _Falcon_. Grabbing her small bag full of provisions and an old Jedi textbook on the Sith; she didn't even care to look at the old lightsaber or her simple staff. She didn't need them anymore.

Her resolve was set in stone. It was unsettling to hear the angry, vengeful voice of Kylo in her visions, only to see him turn around and be different to her in their bond.

Lightsaber and the golden pyramid in her hands, Rey boarded the ship and left Ajan Kloss. Ap'lek Ren told the division to pull out and abandon the skirmish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aqua's lines in Birth By Sleep inspired the title.
> 
> I'm always nervous to post a new chapter because Dark Rey is such a challenge to get right haha. Also whoever thought of Yoda's speech patterns hates fanfic writers.
> 
> The alternate title to this is "Ben Solo takes after his grandfather."


	6. How To Injure A Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dark breaks the heart just a little bit more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took a lot of risks in this chapter and I hope they pay off XD

_Chapter 6: How To Injure A Heart_

Supreme Leader Armitage Hux made his way through the halls of the _Finalizer_. Two Knights of Ren joined his side along with an officer, Mitaka.

"Has Kylo Ren been found yet?" Hux asked, voice crisp as plans stewed in his mind about how to proceed with crushing the Resistance once and for all.

One of the Knights, Kuruk Ren, spoke up, voice distinctly deep and harsh underneath the distortion. "We received word from Ap'lek Ren of his possible location."

"And what of the Last Jedi?" Hux probed farther.

"She's with Ap'lek. Willingly."

Hux raised an eyebrow. "How peculiar. This will certainly crush the Resistance's spirit."

Kuruk Ren looked to his comrade, Cardo Ren with a silent nod.

"What is Trudgen Ren's status?" Hux asked Mitaka.

Mitaka looked at his datapad, trying to contain his nerves around the new Supreme Leader. "Still in the medbay for his leg. It will take a few days for his new leg to be implanted."

"Of course our former leader had to cripple one of his own Knights. Kylo Ren is still on the loose, I want him dealt with quickly. Where is his location?"

"A desert planet called Pasaana," Mitaka answered. "Ap'lek Ren is headed there now."

"And how is the weapon coming along?"

"It will be completed within a week with the added labor, Supreme Leader."

Hux breathed in and out, smelling success. "Good. Bring me to the _Executioner_. I want to personally look over the progress."

Mitaka nodded.

The two Knights of Ren made their leave, and Mitaka continued to follow Hux.

It was difficult to maintain a sense of calm around the new Supreme Leader, not after how Mitaka seemed to grow comfortable the usually volatile Kylo Ren.

Ren as Supreme Leader was surprisingly not as terrible as the idea seemed. He was quieter and less violent in the time after Crait. Mitaka noticed he thanked him for delivering information or messages. It was usually an emotionless thank you but still, a thank you regardless.

Then Mitaka was taken aside and sworn to secrecy. Ren didn't pull any of his usual Force tricks—the memory of nearly being choked to death by him was still fresh in Mitaka's mind—but instead, Ren was asking for one favor, politely.

"I want you to report to me any information on the Resistance's locale or any of their actions, no one else is to be informed. Not even General Hux."

Mitaka nodded, sweat forming on his neck. "Yes, sir. But why?"

Ren stared at him and Mitaka thought he was going to be choked to death at daring to question it.

"That is none of your concern."

And he just began walking away.

Mitaka didn't know how to respond to that, but he did as he was told. Every time he noticed something out of the ordinary from the First Order's usual routine, supplies missing, a note of a specific jungle moon planet, possible allies the Resistance had, he would inform his Supreme Leader before Hux even had a chance to see any of it.

"Thank you, Lieutenant Mitaka. No one knows?"

Mitaka nodded. Months had passed already and Mitaka had done as asked, Hux not knowing for the most part. He noticed nothing was done with the information, so he only came to the most logical conclusion that Ren was destroying the reports and anomalies, keeping Hux and the other generals in the dark.

Or so he thought. "Yes," Mitaka responded.

He was used to the more docile Kylo Ren but was still startled when his emotionless expression hardened into a glare. "No," he said.

Mitaka's hair stood on end. The old Ren was back no doubt. "Pardon Sir?"

Ren looked at him and answered. "Hux had it all figured out for a while now but he does not know who is the messenger. You are safe if that's what you're concerned about."

That he did not expect.

Mitaka cleared his throat. "Sir, I thank you for trusting me like this, but why? Why ask me to keep any information regarding the Resistance a secret?"

"I saw the way you reacted to the Hosnian Cataclysm," Ren said as if it was mere facts he was stating.

Mitaka quickly reflected on that disaster months ago. He held no emotion on his face when he had witnessed the Cataclysm in the same room as Ren. Ren was too busy staring out the windows, unreadable as red light streaked the stars.

"But if you wanted to no longer fight the Resistance, then why not say so? If peace is what you want?" Mitaka asked, feeling bolder to ask these daring questions to a man who was known for his violent temper.

"In a short matter of time, you'll see."

Now he knew why Ren insisted on secrecy. Hux had overthrown him a week later and once the tracking of the _Millennium Falcon_ led them straight to the Resistance Base, Mitaka's gut twisted. He didn't want war anymore. He didn't see it as a means that is necessary. Of all people, the Master of the Knights of Ren saw this.

Kylo Ren wanted peace but couldn't get it because of the likes of Hux and other generals.

Mitaka had to keep calm around the Knights of Ren. If Ren was anything to go by, Force-sensitives could read his mind and he would be dead in an instant.

Keep calm. Don't give anything away.

When they left, all he had to hide now was his mission to convince First Order members to listen to him. To continue Ren's work.

Merely a day before Hux's coup, Mitaka found a datapad in his quarters. It wasn't his by any stretch of means. It had to have been Ren's. Within he found written notes of names of Resistance spies on the ship. The supplies the Resistance had stolen. Orders Ren had given to lower the number of guards. The refusals to add numbers to their military, via either clones or forced recruitment. Cutting off communications and offers between the First Order and cartels, even going as far as to send squads to clear out gang activity. The squad that FN-2187 was in was noted as well.

Along with notes of how to run the First Order as a peace-keeping force.

He understood, somehow.

Mitaka followed Hux to the bridge, nodded to the new Supreme Leader, and then turned on his heel to leave to tend to orders that Hux had left him with.

But he wouldn't be doing that. Instead, he went to check on the squad sent twice to Ajan Kloss. He personally sent them there himself when the Knights of Ren ordered to attack in a small skirmish to test defenses.

To his surprise, only the squad leader and a few troops remained. Mitaka steeled himself and asked to talk with the leader privately in a room over.

Once alone, he began his questioning. "What happened to the rest of your squad?"

The squad leader took off her helmet and spoke. She was sweating, her hair sticking to her face. "They betrayed the First Order and went to the rebels. On persuasion of two other traitors."

"FN-2187 and TZ-1719," Mitaka said, rolling over his options in his head. "Captain, if I might inquire, why do you think they deflected?"

The woman looked at him, considering the question with care. "They think Kylo Ren was the better leader."

Mitaka let out the breath he didn't know he was holding. "Interesting. Do you think there's any truth to this claim?"

She was hesitating.

Mitaka added. "I won't inform anyone of your opinion."

"Yes. Many other good soldiers do. We don't want war. We want a new order that isn't destroying planets and ruling under an iron thumb. Supreme Leader Hux increased our missions and training to the point we have no room to breathe now. Ren was the better leader. I'd rather clear out gangs and free starving children from slavery than fight the Resistance."

Mitaka nodded. "Continue as you are then. Reassignment of your remaining squad will be official tomorrow."

The captain nodded. "Thank you, sir."

"And…" He took a breath, which did nothing to alleviate his light-headedness. "Find others who are dissatisfied."

He was really doing this.

Now for the next step, figure out which other generals were not onboard with Armitage Hux.

Mitaka really was not good with this, not good under this much pressure and scrutiny. It was easier just to take orders and grovel. Ren was a terrifying man, but Hux would utterly destroy him if anything got out about his treason.

* * *

A blast to a stormtrooper's shoulder brought Finn back to reality.

He sprinted over to the wounded soldier, kicking their own blaster out of their hands.

"I'm not letting you die yet!" Finn declared, picking up the soldier by their good arm and shoulder. On their feet, Finn led them towards the entrance to the base.

"They got shot and need medical attention," Finn informed anyone who was listening. Two medical personnel rushed over to him and pulled the trooper away and began walking towards the medbay. "They aren't armed," he added.

"Go then Captain," one nurse said. "Find more, they're pulling out."

Indeed they were. Finn looked to the sky, wiping sweat off his brow as he observed the First Order fleeing the planet, including a black ship among the group of TIE-fighters.

Finn was still reeling from observing Rey, his dear friend Rey, follow a Knight of Ren with silver hair onto her ship. She didn't even look to be in any danger, she was completely controlled and willing.

This had to be a trick of some kind. Finn remembered how helpless Rey was when Kylo Ren took her away on Takodana. Limp and being carried in the arms of the monster in a mask. It disturbed Finn when he finally saw the face of Ren, he expected a disfigured inhuman beneath the mask, but he saw a man. Just a man who had to hide his anger and rage under an air mimicking an old Sith lord.

It was most terrifying seeing just a man instead of a monster.

Finn felt his eyes water and panic rising in his chest. What happened that Rey would follow? Was she blackmailed? Threatened? Why was she with the Knights of Ren?

When the skirmish was fully over, Finn tried to focus on helping the remaining stormtroopers who had given up in surrender but couldn't. He stopped mid-work on pressing a bacta patch to a troop's arm to think more about why Rey would leave without even saying goodbye.

Dizzy with questions, Finn sprinted through the halls of the Resistance Base to get to General Leia.

When he got to the main communications room, Chewie was already there, his shoulders sagged and hugging Leia.

"What's wrong Chewie?" Leia asked as her dear friend pulled back.

He said something in a soft whine.

Leia's brows tightened and her lips flattened in a line.

Finn rushed over. "Rey is gone, we've got to go get her back!"

Leia nodded in agreement. "I fear what may have happened to her is something I couldn't prevent."

Chewie spoke again.

"She still has the tracker on her bag? Does she have her lightsaber?" Leia asked.

He answered with a short somber syllable.

Leia sighed. "It's still on the _Falcon_."

"Correction, Anakin's lightsaber is still on the _Falcon_ ," Maz said as she walked in, holding the fractured saber in her hand. "Rey made her own."

Leia reached into her pocket, pulling out the same device she left with Rey months and months ago when the young woman went to bring Luke back. "Rey took her bag with her but left everything else. The tracker will lead us to her."

Leia handed the device to Kaydel. "Please trace the source signal."

Kaydel nodded and walked to her system to open up the tracker's location. After a few minutes of silence, Kaydel pulled up the ship on the large map in the center of the room. It was tracking her ship through the system, heading straight towards Pasaana. "Found her."

"Why would she even leave?" Finn questioned. "Is she under dark Force tricks or something?"

Maz sighed. "Rey is strong in the Force. Her only equal is Kylo Ren, so no; she left of her own accord."

"But why?"

"I don't have all the answers but the short one? She's gone to the dark side of the Force. I felt it while she was here, I'm sorry to say that I didn't notice it was her specifically until too late."

Finn crossed his arms. "I refuse to believe she would have fallen. Rey isn't like that. It had to have been one of the scum Knights of Ren."

Leia looked down, not willing to meet Finn's eyes.

Maz was growing ever exasperated, her small eyes squinting at Finn. "Then you shall go with Chewie and attempt to bring her back. You know where she is, you go to her."

"Go to who?" Rose asked from the doorway.

Finn turned around to face his friend, who was still shaken with puffy red eyes from her sobbing earlier. "Rose…" Finn said, shoulders falling as he brought himself to explain the dire situation. "Rey is gone. She left."

Rose's eyes glistened over. Wiping her nose with her sleeve, she spoke. "Then… We need to go get her. There has to be an explanation for this."

Leia nodded. "Thank you. Rose, you've flown ships before?"

"A few times yes."

"Chewie will appreciate the co-pilot."

Chewie indeed approved of the help, following Finn and Rose out of the room.

Leia sat down, leaning her forehead against her hand. She let out a shaking sigh. Maz put a hand on Leia's arm.

"Any ideas as to why she would be going to Pasaana?" Maz asked.

Leia took her hand off her forehead. "Because that is where my son is."

* * *

Maz sprinted to the ship, seeing Finn walking onto the ramp.

"Finn!" Maz called out to him, stopping him in his tracks. She ran up to him and held out Anakin Skywalker’s lightsaber.

Finn eyed it with confusion. "Why are you giving this to me?"

"Leia wanted me to give it to you to pass to someone important," she explained. "It's imperative he receives it."

Finn's brows furrowed. "Who?"

"You will know who when you see him," Maz said, taking Finn's hand and shoving the lightsaber into his grip. "Find Rey. See the truth."

Finn could only nod, confused by the strange and vague request. His back ached in phantom pain as his brain tried to think about who Maz could be referring to besides the obvious. "Alright."

* * *

Kylo cracked open his eyes, blinking away the sand and dust. The blazing sun was hanging low in the sky. Sweat formed underneath his shirt and on his neck, the fabric sticking to his skin.

He didn't have any nightmares. He didn't even have any dreams, but he slept soundly even if it was only for a few hours.

Sitting up, he brushed strands of his dark locks out of his face. He put on his gloves and his tunic, brushing his cape out of the ridiculous amounts of sand. Lightsaber clipped to his belt, Kylo stepped out into the desert sun and began walking to his ship.

He contemplated how he was even going to approach the Resistance with his ship basically being a dead giveaway. Their forces were much larger and their base was still hidden to a degree. No doubt the First Order has found it by now but Kylo didn't know the exact location himself.

The memories of seeing a depraved Rey falling to the dark side made an involuntary tear drip down his cheek. He wiped it away with the back of his glove, unflinching as he kept walking.

Then he stopped in his tracks. A dark presence in the Force loomed about, but one so achingly familiar. And it was coming closer.

Kylo looked around and behind a rock stepped out a woman with a hood drawn over her head.

He recognized the way she walked when she was angry. It was with stilled, controlled, and forceful movements; her shoulders rolling with rage. But he didn't care. Rey was here, in the flesh. Not a Force connection.

He began walking closer to her, to close this painful distance. Reality hit him.

Rey was wearing black robes, a cloak to match, and held something in one hand that made Kylo take pause.

A golden pyramid shimmered in the distance in her palm. Horror, realization, and flashbacks of Snoke's voice came crashing to Kylo. All those years of hearing Snoke's voice, being used as a tool of destruction, being torn apart by pain between the light and dark conflicting within were like a slap to the face to the current reality he saw before him.

Rey stopped several feet away from him, her expression a hard glare. "Kylo Ren," she spoke his name, lacking her usual fiery disposition whenever she spoke his self-chosen name.

"Rey, what happened to you?" he asked, choking on some of the syllables as he tried to swallow the picture before him.

" _You_ did this," she responded. "You insisted I make a choice, well here's the result!"

The pyramid in her hand still shimmered in the light. He glanced at it and his breathing hitched. "A Sith holocron… Rey, no."

He recognized the shape from his history studies with Luke. Easily it could affect people just having a Sith artifact if the ghosts on Exegol were any indication. Kylo resolved to get that cursed object away from her. Lifting his hand up to Rey, he took slow steps closer to her. "That holocron is affecting you. This isn't you."

Rey lifted her other arm up, a long metal rod in her grip. "I went to the dark side for answers and it gave me them. I can sense the light in you."

Kylo swallowed his dry throat. "You hear voices don't you?"

That did nothing to faze her.

He continued. "Rey, listen to me, those voices aren't helping you, they're using you." He kept his voice calm and gentle, like a caress to her ears.

It still wasn't getting through to her. "You're lying!"

"Rey," he said.

"Stop saying my name!"

Each sentence, each word she spoke toward him broke his heart a little more each time. "I would never lie to you."

"You told me that my parents didn't want me, they were nobody. That _I'm_ nothing!"

He mentally winced at that awful past attempt to sway her to his side. Not one of his proudest moments, but he meant everything with awkward sincerity. "But you're not, Rey, not to me."

"Stop it! Stop trying to manipulate me Kylo Ren!"

Rey still wasn't listening. It was like his words were being twisted somehow by the dark side of the Force.

No, he knew the dark side very well. This was beyond just dark. This was evil messing with her head.

With no other choice, he tried yanking the holocron out of her hand, but it froze in mid-air, halfway between her and him. Her hand was outstretched, her teeth gritted in concentration.

She ignited her lightsaber, dropping the holocron on the sand. Kylo's eyes widened as he saw two beams of crackling red form from both ends of the lightsaber. It was unstable, like his own lightsaber.

Rey charged at him, leaving hardly any time to react as he pulled out his own lightsaber to parry her first strike. Her charge forced him a step back. She went in for another swing with the other end. He parried.

It was a struggle to keep up with her. Each attack was quick and she was fully in her element using a staff. He cursed himself for ever putting this idea into her head, but he couldn't really just sit there and let her squander her full potential. Each strike was met with a parry and he had to take another step back each time. She was driving him farther and farther back from the holocron.

She twirled around, blade clashing against blade in a locked hold. Kylo pressed back against her, concentrating on the Force and pushing into her mind.

_He cannot get his hands on the holocron! Use your full potential and make your mark! Stop Kylo Ren; save Ben Solo._

He had to shove himself out of her mind; shaking from the voices he heard going on inside her head.

She broke the hold and knocked the saber out of his hand, flying in the air and landing in the sand. She raised her staff to stab him in the shoulder but he sidestepped it.

No saber to defend himself with, he reached out with his hand and called it back to him but she charged at him again. She refused to let him get on even ground. Instead of swinging her saber again, she kicked him in the gut, knocking him down. She stalked over to him, the look she had in her eyes in the forest of Starkiller Base returning. She called his lightsaber to her free hand.

"Rey!"

Suddenly she was on her knees, clutching her side in pain.

Kylo didn't expect that. He reached out with his hand and rolled over out of her saber's reach. Standing up, Kylo saw FN-2187—Finn as he once heard Rey call him—and a woman by his side, blasters in their hands.

"Take this!" Finn shouted, throwing a very recognizable lightsaber in the air. Kylo called it to his hand and ignited it, the calming blue hue pulling him into the light.

With no time to waste, he sprinted towards the holocron, reaching out with his other hand to lift it up towards him. Raising the lightsaber up he intended to destroy it to pieces and free Rey.

Rey had other ideas. The holocron went flying towards her, nearly hitting Kylo square in the gut in the process. He turned in horror to see her bewildered expression while she cradled the holocron in her own hand.

"No…" She muttered. "You're not him. That lightsaber does _not_ belong to you!"

Her eyes darted from him to Finn and his companion, weighing her options. She rose and shoved the pair down using the Force before sprinting away.

Kylo desperately wanted to chase after her. The duel wasn't over and he had to destroy that damned holocron. It had to be the source of the voices inside her head, or at least the enhancer of said voices.

But he couldn't. Nothing he said got through to her, and she was sorely convinced he was actively trying to harm her, that he was still the same monster who killed Han Solo in Starkiller Base. Which, he believed he still was.

He watched her run off in the distance before going over to her friends.

They were groaning in pain at the sudden shove to the ground. Finn sat up, gasping for air. "Maz was right…" he said, cracking his shoulders and wincing at the pain.

The woman rolled onto her side. "That… Was that her?" she asked.

Kylo extended a hand to her to pull her up. He thought about how to answer the question with his heart aching. "That was…"

That was not Rey.

She will never _be_ Rey.

He truly lost her this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, this one was difficult to edit haha.
> 
> Dark Rey pls Kylo just wants to be your boyfriend unconditionally and love youuuu!
> 
> I had a lot of thoughts and notes on this chapter but after like 6 rounds of editing for 3 days my brain has turned to mush lol.
> 
> The title came from this quote.
> 
> "True we don't have hearts. But we remember what it was like. That's what makes us special"... "We know very well how to injure a heart."  
> -Saix, Kingdom Hearts II
> 
> See you next time! Hopefully, the next chapter isn't as much of a pain to edit haha.


	7. You're Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dark returns, but no longer rules.

_Chapter 7: You're Home_

Finn had no idea why he was even remotely considering Maz's words as she handed him the lightsaber. The mere fact he was taking them seriously was unnerving. He found there was no other logical conclusion save for the obvious.

Give this lightsaber to the man who tried to kill him _and_ Rey. Brilliant idea.

When the _Falcon_ landed on the endless desert planet of Pasaana, Finn and Rose grabbed blasters and nodded to Chewie.

"We'll be back before you know it," Finn said to Chewie, who answered with approval and reached for his bowcaster.

The duo descended the _Falcon_ 's ramp and looked around. Something black in the distance caught Rose's eye.

"Is that the ship?" she questioned.

Finn nodded. "Looks like it."

They walked over to the black ship. In the shade of the wing was a woman with grey hair, a black device in her hand that Finn recognized in a similar vein to Kylo Ren's lightsaber.

"Oh great, more rebel scum," the Knight of Ren rolled her eyes. "Those idiots Ushar and Vicrul just had to be envious of Kylo Ren's powers and some stupid Sith thing. Ugh."

Rose pointed her blaster at the Knight. "Who are you?" she demanded.

The knight raised her lightsaber, activating it. "Ap'lek Ren. Why are you here?"

"We're here for Rey," Finn said, blaster pointed right alongside Rose's.

"Tch, have fun with that buddy." Ap’lek took a step forward and was surprised at how unflinching Finn remained. "Oh. You honestly think your friend is just a pet of mine? On the contrary, she has done nothing but order me around and then run off to chase her boyfriend…"

Rose looked at Finn with a raised eyebrow. Finn was not amused at the mention of a boyfriend but he kept his focus on the knight in front of them.

"Order you around?" Rose asked.

"I am not here of my free will," Ap'lek explained. "Then again I hadn't expected the Last Jedi to be stronger than my former master."

"Where is she?"

"Who knows? She went running off into the desert," Ap'lek pointed in a direction without looking. "Their Force signatures are that way."

" _Their_?" Finn said. "Who is with Rey?"

"If you cannot figure it out by now there's no hope for you, rebel scum."

Finn shot at her feet as a warning, but Ap'lek anticipated this, freezing him in place with her hand out.

"Finn!" Rose exclaimed. She too, was frozen in place, unable to move.

He struggled to make any motion with his hands.

"Oh that's right," Ap'lek snarked. "You're FN-2187, the first traitor to the First Order. Kylo Ren mentioned you."

In his last act of defiance against the First-Order-aligned Knight of Ren, Finn moved his hand and slammed Ap'lek into the hull of the ship. Her lightsaber fell out of her grip.

Rose stumbled back, staring in shock and awe at what Finn had just done. "Finn…"

Finn stared at his hand in surprise. That was… No, it couldn't be. He wasn't what he thought he was at that moment.

"I… I'm…"

"You are," Rose said in awe. "You're just like Rey!"

Finn didn't know how to react to this; didn't know how to respond to this revelation. But he felt it within himself. And something pulled at him. It was the Force.

"Rose, we gotta get to Rey, now," Finn declared.

"But what about her?" Rose asked, pointing to Ap'lek Ren. "We can't just leave her."

"You're right; she might have something on the First Order."

"Tie her up and have Chewie watch her?"

"Yep."

"Good plan."

Within minutes Chewie was hauling the passed out body of Ap'lek Ren onto the _Falcon_ and Finn followed his gut instinct toward where Rey was.

In the distance, he saw two beams of red and two figures in black dancing around each other.

Finn and Rose poised their blasters in case as they watched the duel before them. Finn recognized Rey as the smaller one and Kylo Ren's tall figure was unmistakable. Something was off about his movements. He wasn't trying to kill Rey. No, he was on the defensive, and Rey was holding a _red_ lightsaber.

Red meant the dark side. Finn squinted, hoping it was a trick of the blazing light. It was not. The red combined with her new getup of black, it was a new nightmare. She looked like she'd fit in perfectly with Ren and his knights.

Rey knocked Ren's saber out of his hand, taking it, and kicked him down.

Finn panicked, wondering if Rey was actually going to kill him. Somehow he was not too keen on witnessing that. Either it was his conscience, Maz's words, or the Force pushing him to defend _Kylo Ren_ of all people; but that didn't matter at the moment.

"Rey!" he screamed in the distance, taking aim at Rey's right side and shooting a mild blast at her.

She looked up in time to see it hit her and reduce her to her knees. Ren rolled over and got back up.

"Take this!" Finn shouted right at Ren, using the Force to toss the lightsaber at him. Ren caught it and ignited it, running toward something in the sand that shimmered in the light of the hot sun.

Rey recovered from her injury enough to reach out with her grasp. The object went flying to her hand, narrowly missing Ren's gut but he side-stepped it in time. Panic evident on her scowling face, she turned her attention to Finn and Rose.

The next thing Finn knew was he was on his back in the sand. His old wound on his back ached, making him see black for a few seconds. Footsteps in the sand rushed over to him. Finn forced himself to sit up, still seeing splotches of black in his vision. When he blinked it away and everything was clear to him, he recoiled in surprise.

Ren stood in front of him, looking actually concerned at him and Rose's possible injuries.

"That's not the Rey you know," Ren answered Rose's query. "But it is her."

* * *

Kylo couldn't find himself to really say much else to the two. "What is your name?" he asked the woman.

"Rose Tico," she said while adjusting her clothes. "I'm a friend of Rey's." Ah, that explained how Rey would be talking more friendly than usual when the Force connected them. "You're Kylo Ren, right? I've never seen your face before."

He nodded, feeling odd about how he was still referred to as Kylo Ren, but he dismissed it. The presence of Rey in the Force faded. She was already leaving the planet and he held no clues as to where she might go next. "You and Finn have a ship?"

Finn stood up, examining Kylo with obvious apprehension. "Yes, why?"

"I need to go after Rey."

Rose seemed enthused by this idea. "Do you know where she is going?"

"No."

Her face fell. "No?"

"No," Kylo stated again.

"Well that's just helpful," Finn said. "Why was she attacking you?"

Kylo took a deep breath, trying to calm his flaring temper with all the questions. "She has a Sith artifact on her and it's messing with her mind."

"The Sith are dead though?" Finn said. "That's what I've heard ever since the Empire fell."

He tried to restrain a groan of defeat. There was so much to explain yet time was running short, on both Rey and the Resistance. "I… Look I cannot explain everything right now. Take me back to the Resistance with you, please."

"And how do we know you're not going to trick us?" Finn glared at him. "Or try to kill us."

"As I recall you gave me my grandfather's lightsaber in the heat of the moment. If you're trying to distrust me should have reconsidered, _Finn_ ," Kylo snarked. "We're wasting time as it is arguing over this nonsense."

Rose stepped in-between the two. "Right. We need to return to the base. Hux will soon attack and we need to be ready."

Finn kept his glare on Kylo even as they walked back to the ship.

Kylo hesitated and let out a breath at the sight of the _Millennium Falcon_. Old memories of playing and going on joy rides with his father made his eyes sting and his throat tight. Swallowing those feelings down, he followed Finn and Rose aboard.

An interesting sight greeted him. Ap'lek Ren was tied up on the floor, pouting, and Chewie was sitting on a seat next to her, his usual bowcaster in his grip.

There was a stare off for a moment between Kylo and Chewie.

With a sigh, Kylo broke the silence. "Hi, Chewie."

Chewie stood up and put down the blaster. He walked over to Kylo, and without a single word smacked the back of his head.

"Ow," he said, wincing and rubbing the back of his head. "I deserved that."

Chewie spoke a few words before pulling Kylo into a hug. Kylo awkwardly hugged back, not sure if he even deserved the affection after so many years of his terror.

"I'm back, Chewie," Kylo said, most of the words muffled by Chewie's fur. "I'm… I'm sorry."

Sorry for everything. Sorry for killing Han. Sorry for nearly killing Leia. Sorry for nearly obliterating the Resistance. Sorry for driving Rey away into the dark.

Never had an apology meant so many things at once.

Chewie spoke with approval in his tone, releasing Kylo from the hug.

"No, Rey isn't with us," Kylo said.

Chewie answered back with sorrow.

"I'm getting her back, don't worry Chewie."

Saving Rey was the first step in a long list of things he owed to many.

* * *

It was strange being on the _Falcon_ in so many years. How long was it? twenty years or so? When his mother sent him away and his father brought him to Luke? If he had been here months ago he would have felt an unspeakable rage and desire to destroy everything.

Oddly, the _Falcon_ was comforting more than anything. He was at peace, for the moment. He took it upon himself to watch Ap'lek Ren, who sat on the floor with her hands bound. Finn also sat across from Kylo, eyeing him with suspicion but said nothing.

Ap'lek finally said something. "Where is your girlfriend?" she sneered. "I thought she would have finished the job but could have fooled me."

Kylo's fingers twitched. He wondered how long he could keep up the effort of silencing her if he wanted to. "Why do you care so much, Ap'lek? You betrayed me."

"Because you got soft and weak! You weren't even doing the dark side's bidding anymore."

"And yet you went to light incarnate and tried to convert her," Kylo said, his thumb and finger curling a little bit. Ap'lek flinched at the sensation. "I would watch your words. You never think before you speak."

He knew Finn was watching him but he quite frankly didn't care. Kylo Ren was still Kylo Ren, even if he no longer wanted to destroy everything and everyone.

Kylo never thought he would have to deal with his knights in this way. It was depressing to think about, but it was necessary. Ap'lek always spoke her mind, which in years previously he was fine with. It was refreshing. Now it just irritated him hearing the thinly veiled jabs at his change of heart and his feelings for Rey.

"Now, you're going to tell me what you know, Ap'lek Ren. And we both know what will happen if you don't give your words _willingly_ ," Kylo said.

Finn shifted in his seat before excusing himself to check on the two pilots.

Not the best impressions he had given Finn thus far aside from telling him about the holocron. He would have to work on that later.

For now, he wanted answers.

Ap'lek kept her glare on him but relented to the threats. "Fine, _Master_ ," she spat the title out like an insult. "We all noticed you were weak and feeble and no longer following the words of Ren…"

Kylo interrupted her. "Amazing, every word of what you just said was wrong, but continue."

She rolled her eyes. "And Hux was already planning his coup so we went along with it if it meant you were out of power and cornered. But Ushar and Vicrul were the ones who put forth the suggestion that we could turn Rey, as the dark side demanded."

"Ushar is in on Vicrul's insanity?" Kylo said as the cogs turned over the statement in his brain. "But you're not?"

"Tch, you honestly think I would buy into that whole Sith nonsense?"

"So you don't know where Vicrul has been hiding out?"

"No, I don't. Why?"

Kylo said nothing, made no emotion on his face. "Tell me about Hux."

"Oh yeah our new _illustrious_ leader," she snarked. "I don't know who is worse, the self-aggrandizing Armitage or you the brooding prince from what-its."

Did she really have to dig up that fact he was technically a prince from a dead planet? "Does it matter? I'm not the leader, so tell me what Hux is planning."

Or face having it ripped out of her own mind, he added silently. She took the warning.

"Hux is taking those portable cannon plans and making a prototype to aim at the Resistance's base. He started secretly building it weeks before the coup on some other ship."

Kylo thought he had destroyed all the plans for this cannon save for the one copy he kept on hand. Somehow Hux had the foresight to keep those plans hidden away. He had to give the man credit; Hux managed to keep that secret from Kylo. "Where are the credits coming from?"

"You know where."

Gangs. Cartels. Slavers. Kylo made damn sure to shut off communications from them during his reign and now Hux was going to undo that too.

It infuriated him to no end that his work for months was being thrown away.

"It is also projected it will be a week or so before the test, or at least that's what his lieutenant said."

Dopheld Mitaka. The officer he had searched his mind through and found him quite susceptible to empathy towards a better cause, and easily followed orders.

One week. Kylo had one week to gain the trust of the Resistance, plan, and execute some sort of solution before the Resistance was faced with a weapon that could leave mass graves in its wake.

As if this day couldn't get any worse.

"So what are you going to do now, Ap'lek," Kylo questioned. "You're a prisoner of the Resistance now, but I can have you released."

"And what would you gain from having me released?"

"One less pain in my side," he muttered darkly. "The Knights of Ren are going to fall apart. They are already falling apart. Ushar and Vicrul are Sith-mad lunatics. The other three are a part of Hux's insanity; you were idiotic enough to think that the Last Jedi wouldn't do something to you. And clearly, according to your perception, I am weak, feeble, and no longer following the words of Ren, but I am merely drawing upon the dark side and doing what _I_ wish. Are we in an understanding, Ap'lek?" She nodded. "You can decide to be a prisoner of war, which might mean they will execute you, or I let you go before they even notice. Your choice."

"I'd rather not run around being hunted for war crimes or executed thank you very much," she said, voice haughty.

Exactly the response he was looking for. "Then you help the Resistance."

She narrowed her eyes. "Seriously?"

"You're out of options Ap'lek." He folded his hands. "The Knights of Ren must end. As do the Jedi. And the Sith. And it starts with the Resistance ending this war."

She raised an eyebrow, sitting up a little straighter. "What brought on all this?"

Kylo crossed his arms. "When I chose to kill Snoke."

Ap'lek didn't say anything for the rest of the trip.

* * *

Kylo's heart pounded with reality slapping him in the face as they landed in the jungles of Ajan Kloss. He had kept watch of Ap'lek the entire time, making sure that she wouldn't try something—not that she could, he was undoubtedly stronger than her.

But talking and making sure she wasn't going to try any funny business kept him from thinking about the fact he was headed straight to the Resistance.

Headed straight to his _mother._

He feared her reactions. Facing Chewie was hard enough, but his mother? He feared what he would even say to her. What she would say to him.

When he was just a mere child, he was plagued by voices, troubled and lashing out with the Force. Her response was to send him away. And his response when his father came back for him? A lightsaber in the heart.

Kylo knew this was inevitable, that this was destined to happen the second he saw Rey was falling to the dark side, he just hadn't really thought about the implications of what he was doing. But as Luke said, he was his mother's only hope now.

Rose came over to Kylo, looking at him with sympathy. "We have cuffs for her."

"Good," Kylo said, glancing at Ap'lek with a stoic expression before looking back to Rose. "Don't treat her with anything less but respect."

"Of course," she said before taking a moment to say the next sentence on her mind. "Oh… right um, the general is waiting outside."

His chest was suddenly very tight and his throat dry. Time to face the inevitable.

Kylo stood up, swishing his cape out and made slow steps down the ramp and off the ship.

Chewie was already talking to a small woman with grey hair braided up intricately, just like an Alderaanian would. It reminded him of when he was a child and she would braid his long locks so it would be less of a mess. He liked the mess of his hair, but he sometimes missed having his hair braided. Her long grey robes reminded him of her time in the Senate, when he would hardly see her as she was so busy with work, but once in a while she would come home to him and ask how her son was.

All the regrets rushed back to him, making him dizzy.

His steps were slow; eyes of some passersby on him. He paid them no attention as his focus was squarely on his uncle Chewie and his mother Leia.

Chewie stepped back, allowing Leia to look at Kylo Ren in his entirety. A hint of surprise was in her eyes, but she hid it well.

He swallowed as he took more steps closer to his mother. He towered over her, and at any other moment, he would be trying to be intimidating.

A warm smile graced her lips as she extended her hand to him. "My son."

He took it, trying to fight tears glistening over. "Mom?" The word was choked, stifled by his throat.

"Ben, you've come home."

Her voice was soft and understanding.

"Can we go… Somewhere to talk?" His voice was shaking. Too many emotions. Too many regrets. Too many.

Leia nodded, leading him through the Resistance Base and to her private quarters. She sat him down on a bench and took one long look at her son.

The last time he saw her she still had strong traces of mahogany color in her braids and fewer wrinkles lining her eyes. But war and age showed through now. Her hair was greyed and worry lines were added.

He had no idea what to say. He felt there was nothing _to_ say. Him being here was enough of a statement. What was he even expecting? Forgiveness? A slap to the face? Hatred?

"Mom… I…" he said, trying to find the right words.

"I hope, Ben," Leia spoke, stopping him before he could really say anything. "That you can forgive me."

He stared at her incredulously. _She_ was asking for _his_ forgiveness? "What?"

"I failed you as a mother."

"Mom, why? You should be hating me. I… I killed…"

"I know, Ben. But I forgive you because you are here, intending to set things right. You've always had a loving heart Ben, and I am sorry that I didn't see it the moment I sent you away." Leia placed a hand on his cheek, her touch so warm and caring. "I know Rey forgives you too."

One tear escaped, dripping down his face. "But… I…" His voice was so hoarse; words almost failing him.

"But what?"

Two tears. "I lost Rey. She's gone."

"No one is ever really gone, Ben."

He couldn't hold it in anymore. Ben Solo embraced his mother for the first time in too long, tears flowing down his cheeks. He quietly sobbed into her shoulder, like a child clinging for support and comfort.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry, Mom."

Her hands stroked his hair to soothe his aching heart. "I'm just happy to have you back."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went back and rewatched KH2's ending and my god it's one of the best endings I've ever seen in my life.
> 
> Not much plot development here whoops lol, but do not fret lots of plot going on next chapter... Hopefully.
> 
> Also Morally Grey Ben Solo is so much fun to write. XD
> 
> See you next time!


	8. So You Really Do Care for Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darkness plans.

_Chapter 8: So You Really Do Care for Her_

Rose watched as General Leia led Kylo Ren to someplace private to talk, away from the prying eyes of the Resistance. It was interesting to see how she didn't even move to make him a prisoner, but he had come willingly to the Resistance, begged even.

No doubt Poe was going to have a million questions.

She made her way to Poe and Finn—Poe bombarding his friend with questions and Finn struggling to answer them.

"Why is the general alone with _Kylo Ren_ of all people? Why is Ren even here?" Poe asked through gritted teeth.

Finn scratched his neck. "Um well…"

"May I remind ourselves that you yourself witnessed the man murdering his own father?" Poe said. "Forgive me for not really trusting him, especially near his own mother."

"I barely trust him either, believe me."

Rose stepped in. "But Finn here trusted him enough in the moment to give him a lightsaber and spare his life. General Leia said she wanted to speak with her son privately."

"You gave what—you know what I don't want to know," Poe said, rubbing his temples. "And where is Rey? Or is the presence of Ren an indication?"

"She ran off, stole the Knight of Ren's ship and fled," Rose explained.

Finn nodded. "Ren seems to have some ideas of what's going on with her. He asked to come here to explain."

"Even so, he's… The _former_ Supreme Leader and we just let him waltz right into our base, _armed_ and unguarded."

Finn's hand reached to his back. "Yes but…"

"But what? I trust you man but you gotta give me something other than 'somehow understands what's going on with the Last Jedi.'"

Rose rolled her eyes. "You're forgetting the bigger picture. He _willingly_ came to us. He was at the very top of the First Order and he wantsto help us. He even controlled our prisoner—a Knight of Ren."

Poe stared at Rose in disbelief. "Seriously?"

Finn shifted his feet. "He even interrogated her. Something about the First Order's new plans."

Poe tapped his fingers on the map, deep in thought. "If that's true…" A wide grin slowly grew on his lips. "We're gonna win this war," he declared. "We are going to win."

* * *

Leia brushed away her son's tears from his cheek. "We have a lot to talk about, Ben."

Indeed they did, even after all the shared apologies. Kylo nodded, but he didn't know where to start with everything that had happened. Rey. The First Order. Snoke. What happened with Luke—if he'll ever admit what happened at the Jedi Temple to Leia. The coup. The Knights of Ren.

How he was abandoned for most of his life.

Leia decided to broach the topic, standing up and moving to the door. "Come Ben. You look exhausted."

He followed after his mother through the Resistance Base. Was he actually that exhausted? What even was the time anymore? It was morning when he dueled with Rey but the trip to Ajan Kloss was long enough for him to interrogate Ap'lek. Had he even eaten?

Sitting him down in a comfy room around a table, Leia felt his forehead with the back of her hand. "You still feel hot Ben, it has to have been hours since you were on that planet."

Of course, leave it to his mother to start fussing over him immediately. He leaned on his hand, mustering up the energy to protest the implication that he was ill. "I am fine Mom."

She rolled her eyes. "You need to eat and drink."

Food was brought to them. Kylo went straight for the water, his lips parched from spending so much time on the desert planet. He was thankful to be rid of that place too, even if it was only slightly better than Exegol.

"What happened with Rey?" Leia asked, placing a warm hand on his shoulder.

His eyes were like glass in the harsh lights of the room. "She is in possession of a Sith holocron that's manipulating her. If I can destroy that holocron she might snap out of it."

 _Might_ being the keyword. A shivering fear reached the back of his neck at the thought of what would happen if Rey got close enough to Exegol.

"Interesting. We had two Knights of Ren appear here. You brought one of them back as a prisoner?"

"Ap'lek Ren. She will be valuable since she was witness to Hux's plans, from what I gathered from my questioning." Kylo took a deep breath as he thought about who the other knight could have been. Vicrul was in a pit on Exegol. Trudgen was incapacitated. But Ap'lek tipped him off about who would have been here. "Ushar Ren was the other knight. He must've planted that holocron here in hopes it would lure Rey to the dark side. In any other world, Rey would resist…" Kylo's heart clenched thinking about how it was ultimately his fault this was happening to her. "But it was… I…"

Leia nodded, listening, for what feels like the first time since he was a child. "She was unhappy ever since Crait."

He ran his fingers over his temple. "I pushed her."

"It's not too late for her, Ben. For one thing, you're here. For another, you care about her," Leia reassured him.

He pulled his hand away, taking a sip of water and staring down at his cup. "I don't know where she is."

"You'll find her."

He took very little comfort in those words. "The longer she has that holocron the darker she is in the Force." Her pull had completely flipped. Rey's light was dimming, being swallowed whole.

"And another matter," Kylo added. "We have one week before this base is possibly destroyed by the First Order."

Leia sighed. "Of course… What is Hux up to?"

Kylo reached into his pocket and pulled out a small drive. "He has plans for a portable cannon that can be used on a dreadnought. I thought I had destroyed all versions of it but clearly, I was mistaken. It won't destroy a planet; it will blast a giant crater three times the size of this base, perhaps even larger."

"Do you have the plans?"

"I do, just in case." He placed the drive into Leia's hands. "We need to get onto that dreadnought and dismantle the device."

"Where do you think it's being built?"

"It's on the dreadnought _Executioner_ , but I do not know its current location now, Hux had to move it behind my back to hide his activities."

"You know codes and the layouts of the dreadnoughts, yes?"

He nodded. "I can give details to your lieutenants."

"What are you going to do now, Ben?" Leia asked.

He didn't know. He was still lost and very much terrified of the future and what it all meant. Would he ever atone and get Rey back? Or was this his just punishment?

No, Rey didn't deserve that. She deserved the galaxy. She deserved to be free and make her own choices. She deserved to have a family who cared for her as much as he did. His mistakes, his choices, they should have never been thrust upon Rey.

"I want to help plan for the assault on the dreadnought, then find Rey," he declared. "But… After that…"

"You don't know, do you?" Leia said.

He sighed. "No, I don't."

Maz walked into the room, holding a book. "Ah good!" Her eyes widened and a hint of a smirk grew on her mouth at Kylo as she strolled over to the table. She plopped the book on the table and Kylo glanced at it, wanting to roll his eyes as he knew immediately it was a sacred Jedi text.

"Ben Solo," Maz greeted him, flipping through the pages. "Did you notice anything odd between you and Rey? Any weird occurrences?"

Kylo's chest tightened. He never spoke nor considered telling people the special connection he had with Rey. How the Force had bonded them together in a link that allowed them to see one another. "Perhaps," he stated, not willing to divulge the information.

Maz rolled her eyes. "If my instincts are correct, you and Rey have something so rare and so special that it was only seen once before, thousands of years ago. A _dyad_."

Kylo crossed his arms. "And what does that mean?"

"It means," Maz stared at him with a dead-serious expression. "You're bonded as two halves of one whole. Two as one. The Force seeks balance with you two at its crux. Rey was born with much light and you were born with much darkness."

Kylo scoffed. Was Maz seriously implying they were _soulmates_? He didn't deny that the Force wanted them to be connected, but to go as far as to say they were destined from the start was ridiculous. "That's not how the Force works."

"Don't be like your father. There are many things we do not know about the Force. But it's the only explanation for that shake in the Force Leia and I felt earlier during the skirmish. Light reaching for the dark, trying to meet in the middle."

When Kylo touched Rey's hand through their bond. He sighed and buried his face into his hands. "That doesn't prove anything."

Or, maybe it did. The light and dark bled at that moment when they touched hands, both times. A mutual forming from the stark contrast. Understanding.

Grey.

His heart clenched at the thought. Rey tried severing their bond. He caused her enough pain that she couldn't stand him anymore.

But the bond remained. Rey had reconnected herself, and even though she heard voices—perhaps similar ones to Snoke—the Force was still showing them to each other.

His only way of saving Rey was through this.

Kylo stood up abruptly and walked out of the room without another word, running his hand through his hair as people stopped and stared at him.

Night had fallen. He walked outside the base into the forest and found a rock to lean against as he sat down. The soft chirps of the wildlife were all he had for company.

Traces of Rey lingered. She had been here for months training herself, alone. He could have helped her if he hadn't…

No, he had to let the past die. Dwelling on it was only bringing him pain.

He closed his eyes and breathed.

Just _breathed_.

The lingering presence of Rey around him was overwhelming, but he kept his focus.

"Be with me," he whispered.

He could have sworn he heard her voice answer the sentiment in kind.

* * *

Rey stalked her way through the _Finalizer_ , Kylo Ren's lightsaber on her belt, the holocron in her bag, and her own lightsaber in her grip.

An officer walked right out of a room with a datapad in his grip. He stared at her with wide eyes and struggled to say something. Rey raised her hand and gripped him in place, pulling upon the dark side to do her work. She delved into his mind.

Kylo's plans for the First Order. Him asking this man to recover any intel regarding the Resistance.

Still too angry at what happened at Pasaana, she pulled back, still keeping the man—Mitaka—in place.

"You will take me to the Knights of Ren," she said in her monotone voice, waving her hand over his temple.

"I will take you to the Knights of Ren," he responded. She released his body and he began promptly walking in a straight line down the hall, entered a code into an elevator, and she followed him inside.

Reaching the upper floors of the dreadnought, Mitaka stepped out and led Rey to a training room. He stopped in front of the door, and Rey waved her hand again.

"You will forget about this exchange and go back to your duties," she ordered.

"I will forget about this exchange and go back to my duties," he said, walking away and out of sight.

Rey opened the door to the training room and was faced with two Knights of Ren in training gear, their helmets removed as they sparred.

The two stopped upon Rey's entrance.

"The Last Jedi," one of the men said, his voice coarse and gruff, deeper than Kylo's baritone.

The other one looked extremely young, even younger than Kylo, with wispy blond hair but no less held an expression of neutrality and a willingness to kill.

Rey remained indifferent to their shock and began her interrogation. "What are your names?"

The two knights said nothing.

With a twitch in her eye, Rey froze the blond in place. "What is your name?"

"Cardo Ren," he gasped out. Rey released him, looking to the older knight who answered without hesitation.

"Kuruk Ren. Why are you here, last Jedi?"

Rey reached into her bag and presented the holocron. "Do you know what this is?"

Cardo and Kuruk glanced at each other before looking back at the golden pyramid. "A Sith holocron," Cardo said. "I thought they were all destroyed."

"This one obviously wasn't," Rey said, her patience wearing thin.

"Vicrul…" Kuruk muttered under his breath.

"How do I get it to work?" Rey questioned, catching the name.

"You must use the dark side of the Force," Cardo explained. "A Sith holocron is dangerous, however."

"Dangerous _how_?" Rey pressed. "Is that why your former master tried to destroy it?"

Kuruk glanced at his comrade before speaking. "Kylo Ren tried to destroy it?"

Cardo scoffed. "Of course he did. He would never be a Sith, not now."

_They're against you. Don't forget that._

"How is it dangerous," she pressed again. "Because the Sith offers power? Because it might lead to what I want?"

"Did Vicrul fill your head with this nonsense?" Kuruk demanded, reaching for his saber.

Rey clutched the holocron tighter with her fingers. "The Sith are the dark side no? Kylo Ren imitated a Sith Lord for years."

"We the Knights of Ren followed the dark side, did as it wished. The Sith are poison to the galaxy!" Cardo exclaimed. "They let their emotions rule them, let their anger and hatred run free, as Kylo Ren did. He refused to kill his emotions, his weaknesses. Darth Vader failed to do the same, leading to his ultimate demise.“

"Then why was he your leader?" Rey tilted her head in confusion.

Kuruk spoke up. "He killed our previous leader, Ren."

Rey looked down at her hand. "Why am I not surprised…"

"He let us do as we wished until suddenly Snoke dies and we detected his weakness," Kuruk said. "And now I realize you were the one causing his weakness."

The two knights activated their lightsabers, walking closer and closer to her. Rey shoved the holocron into her bag and her staff ignited with volatile red energy.

They stalled at the color, then proceeded anyways.

Rey raised her hand and flung Kuruk across the room. Her blade clashed with Cardo's into a hold, but Cardo was no match for her. She parried him to the side, twirling around so the other end of the saber met his again. Tugging onto the dark side of the Force, the power surged around her, and the lightsaber left Cardo's grip. The tip of her saber grazed his palm, making him stumble back in pain while grasping the cauterized wound.

Kuruk got back up, lifting his saber up with a steady two hands to bash in on Rey. She took a step back and tightened her grip on her staff as she deflected the forceful hit at an angle. Squeezing one hand out, she lifted Kuruk in the air inch by inch before knocking his saber away. He pushed back against her using the Force, but she brushed it off. She shoved him against a wall and put her blade to his neck.

Cardo recovered to grab his lightsaber but Rey without even looking threw him into the air with a sweeping gesture of her arm. His robes caught on the overhang from the ceiling.

"Who is Vicrul?" Rey demanded to Kuruk, breathing ragged. "And where can I find your new Supreme Leader?"

_Don't bother trying to lie._

Easily she could shove her way into his mind the same way Kylo invaded hers, but she refused.

She was stronger than Kylo Ren.

Kuruk flinched as the red blade got closer and closer to his neck. Sweat dripped off his chin. "Vicrul and Ushar are both Sith-obsessed fools. As for the Supreme Leader, he left for the _Executioner_ a while ago."

Rey backed away, keeping Kuruk's lightsaber out of reach still. Her goal of finding the new leader and sending the First Order into chaos would have to wait. She needed to open this holocron first. "Where would I find Vicrul and Ushar?"

"I don't know," Kuruk said.

"You know something," Rey's eyes narrowed, closing in with the tip of her lightsaber again. "You have some vague idea of where it is."

He flinched again. "I don't."

_He hides._

She inched the red blade closer to his skin. "You know, and now you'll give it to me or I shall take it without quarter.“

It was a hollow threat but Kuruk would never know that.

"The death place of the Sith. They go off on their own all the time, they might be there."

Rey took steps back slowly, having gotten what she wanted.

"That's it?" Kuruk questioned, his brows tight in a glare, fingers twitching for his lightsaber on the floor. "That's all you want?"

"I wanted information," Rey said, returning the sentiment.

Cardo spoke up from the ceiling. "Not to kill us like our weak master would want for betrayal?"

Weak.

Kylo Ren wasn't weak.

Rey turned and glared at the blond before yanking him down to the floor with a jerk of her palm. "Shut up."

Kylo Ren was strong.

But so was she.

She was stronger than all of them.

_Only your equal will truly test you._

With that, she left, moving her way back to the stolen ship and leave before anyone really noticed the Last Jedi was aboard the _Finalizer._

Rey stumbled down the hallways to her ship, fatigue rattling her bones and finally catching up to her. Her muscles ached and her eyes began to sting.

She needed a place to sleep, now.

Rey stopped walking the second she found a man in front of her dressed in a First Order uniform.

It was the same damn lieutenant—Mitaka—that she had ordered around earlier.

"The Last Jedi," he said, throat dry. "You…"

"Do you have a place for me to sleep?" Rey said in slow, annoyed syllables.

"Um yes, of course."

Mitaka led her—willingly this time—through the _Finalizer_ to a small room just big enough for a bed and little else.

"Why were you expecting me?" Rey questioned, trying to fight a yawn.

Mitaka swallowed. "It was on the orders of Supreme Leader Kylo Ren—" Her glare at the mention of his name stopped him in his tracks for a moment before he continued, "That you are to be accommodated should you ever come aboard the ship. This is the best I can do for you as of now…"

"I don't need excuses," Rey said, irritated with the placation. "Just… Leave me be."

He couldn't leave fast enough.

Tossing her bag to the floor, she flopped her body onto the bed, thoughts of Kylo plaguing her even in her drowsiness.

Her head on her pillow, she could only think of how this was all for Ben Solo.

All for him.

"Be with me," she whispered as she fell asleep.

_Be with me._

Ben's voice echoed in her dreamless slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello yes my endless stream of KH quotes never ceases.
> 
> This chapter took so much pain to edit haha.
> 
> Now back to your regular schedule—hopefully.
> 
> I am so blown away by the responses to my previous chapter. Thank you all!


	9. Space, This Is What I Choose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The light pleads with the dark.

_Chapter 9: Space, This is What I Ch_ _o_ _ose_

Kylo was in a hallway. It went on and on, a stretch of never-ending darkness. The cold seeped into his bones, yet his hair was sticking to his skin with sweat. He took a step forward, and then another.

In the distance, a small light pierced through the darkness. It was like a small piece of sunshine, radiating warmth in a never-ending swirl of night.

It was Rey's light.

He went purely on instinct and chased the sunshine. Reaching out to it with his hand, he nearly caught it.

The light vanished before his fingertips could feel its warmth.

Something crunched under his boots. Snow. A forest covered in white surrounded him. The hint of a chill blew at his dark locks, thick flakes of snow stuck to his hair.

He reached for his lightsaber but didn't ignite it. Something snapped behind one of the trees.

Rey stepped into view, her lightsaber crackling with red, casting a shallow glow over her face. "We're not done yet," she said, her voice low and heavy with each breath. Her side was bleeding with blood.

"Rey please," he pleaded with her. "This won't go the way you think."

She pointed her saber at his chin. "You're right. It didn't go the way I thought when I went to you that day."

He activated his own lightsaber, the blue illuminating sweat and water on his face. "Rey, I won't give up on you."

"You should have given up a long time ago. I will never be with you."

With a wave of her hand, Kylo went flying onto his back. His saber sizzled as it collided with the snow.

His chest was too heavy. He wanted to wake up from this nightmare right now. "Rey…"

He sat up to be greeted with Rey's lightsaber at his gut. "Kylo Ren must die," she said with no remorse in her tone.

Kylo had no words left. He tried, he really did.

This was how the sunshine of the galaxy dies.

He couldn't look away from her empty hazel eyes as she raised her staff to deal the final blow.

* * *

Kylo shot up on his bed, gasping with beads of sweat on his forehead and his bare chest. Some horrid relief washed over him as reality reminded him that it was just a nightmare.

But it wasn't just a nightmare, it was a real one reaching its conclusion, and it ended with Rey becoming a monster with his death.

He got up and put a shirt on and his boots. With a glance at his cape, he ran a hand over his hair, trying to decide if he should really put it on. If he had to deal with Ap'lek at all today or any rebels who are revenge trigger-happy, intimidation was going to have to do. A stark reminder of who they were dealing with.

He left his small hobble of a room while he put on his gloves. Two armed guards stood side-by-side outside his door, a precaution put in by Leia in case someone wanted to exact revenge against the former Supreme Leader.

Shoving aside his thoughts on Rey, he rolled over how he was going to present to the rest of the generals and admirals of the Resistance what he knew of Armitage Hux's plans. It wasn't that he was bad at public speaking—he never enjoyed it but he was decent at it enough to lead for some time—it was being trusted enough that let his anxiety rise. He _needed_ their undeserved trust for this to work. He _needed_ them to believe him.

Just like how Rey believed in him once.

Turning the corner he bumped into someone. He barely flinched as he saw Rose stumble back a couple of small steps.

"Sorry," he said, ears red underneath his hair from being so lost in his thoughts.

Rose gave a hint of a smile. "It's fine. You probably have a lot on your mind."

He had no idea how to answer this friendliness Rose had. By all accounts, Rose should hate him, just like all the other rebels did. But instead Rose was friendly and he had no clue how to react to her kind demeanor.

"Yes," he said, curt in his response. "Plenty."

Rey and the First Order were always on his mind these days.

"General Leia sent me to bring you to the meeting," Rose explained, turning around and leading the way through the base.

As he followed the woman, he could see the many stares and whispers at his imposing presence from the Resistance. Some stopped mid-conversation to gawk in fear. Some continued the gossip. One glance from him and he saw into their minds.

_He tried to destroy the Resistance on Crait._

_Kylo Ren slaughtered an entire village!_

_He burned the Jedi temple_ _down!_

_Why should I forgive the Jedi Killer?!_

Indeed, why should Kylo Ren forgive the Jedi Killer? He stopped his mind-reading when Rose held the door open.

"After you," Rose said. Kylo walked into a massive room. Commanders and admirals along with Leia stood around a large table with a projector at its core.

Leia stood with C-3PO behind her. To her left was Poe Dameron, arms crossed and looking directly at Kylo with terse civility.

Kylo absolutely refused to ever look into his mind ever again.

His mother gestured to her other side, a space left open. He made his way around the table and stood in his rightful spot. C-3PO moved in surprise.

"Master Ben Solo! Good to see you again," C-3PO greeted in his usual chirpy way.

Kylo nodded to C-3PO, then to Leia. "Shall we begin?"

Leia nodded. "Indeed." She raised her voice higher for the entire table to hear. "Let's get started. My son shall do most of the talking."

The moment of truth. Kylo placed his hands on the table, standing up straight and tall as his mother instilled into him to do as a young child. "My name is Ben Organa-Solo, former Supreme Leader of the First Order. I came here to inform you of the danger the First Order presents to you all."

Pressing a button on the holo, the drive he provided to Leia was loaded up and a blueprint of a large circular cannon was traced in midair. "This is a weapon designed by the First Order in the event that Starkiller Base was compromised. Then-General Armitage Hux kept a copy of these blueprints when I thought I had destroyed the last of them. He's building it currently."

Leia pressed a button, expanding the blueprint to a larger scale and more detail is shown up close.

"It will be completed within a week," Kylo declared, earning murmurs from the leadership of the Resistance.

Finn, Rose, and Poe all stared at him with wide eyes.

"Where is this weapon?" Finn asked.

"The dreadnought _Executioner_ ," Kylo answered, restraining himself from rolling his eyes at the name Hux chose to root the cannon onto. "Hux no doubt moved it by now."

"We cannot spend time searching the system only to have the dreadnought at our doorstep." Poe squinted at the hologram of the cannon.

Rose spoke up. "Can we dismantle this weapon? Where are the failsafes?"

Kylo pulled up the left and right flanks of the weapon, near the top. "Up high in the energy core chamber to prevent accidental destruction of the failsafe. An idiotic design choice in my opinion."

He saw a ghost of a smirk on his mother's lips.

Poe pursed his lips in thought. "We need to find this dreadnought, disable the weapon, or…" He closed his eyes, sighing. "We destroy it."

Kylo kept his tone even. "I prefer Commander we do not destroy the dreadnought if need be, lest more lives be needlessly lost."

That took Poe by surprise. He quirked an eyebrow. "I don't want to destroy it either, but unless we find it we may not have a choice once it shows up here ready to fry us."

"So how do we find it first? Could we trace the money back to it?" Finn suggested.

Kylo put the side of his knuckle against his lips in thought. Tracing the cartels and gangs could work with the information he took with him, but time was of the essence. Fleeing was a last resort and most likely will result in the Resistance's annihilation in space, but so was destroying a dreadnought with thousands of people onboard who weren't willingly there.

Finn watched him with a curious eye as Kylo's anger bubbled to the surface thinking about the way stormtroopers were enslaved. The Force was reacting in kind, energy swirling around his body.

Leia glanced at Kylo, feeling it. She raised a hand and brushed his arm in comfort.

He took a deep breath and tempered himself. "Can we trace it in a fast amount of time?"

One of the commanders bit her lip. "Unsure, even with the information you provided on the gangs. Most likely it will take up all our time."

Kylo formed a fist. There goes one solution.

But perhaps there was another… "I propose," Kylo spoke, his voice clear and tempered. "We take a star-destroyer of our own."

Poe tightened his brow. "Take a star-destroyer? How?"

"I suggest looking at your spy reports from the past few months. Their military is reduced, supplies even more so, and you have more deflected stormtroopers. Taking a destroyer will get us access to the information we need to find the dreadnought."

"You're asking the Resistance to take on two major ships of the fleet though," Poe said. "If they start firing at us we won't stand a chance later on with the casualties."

Leia had a full-blown smirk on her face now. Kylo's neck itched in irritation at his mother's smugness.

"You've destroyed one dreadnought with determination, Commander Dameron," Kylo said, an edge of annoyance in his tone. "I trust in your determination to not destroy a star-destroyer and suffer heavy losses."

Poe glared at him, eye nearly twitching before relenting with equal annoyance. "Right then. I hope the spy reports match what you're telling me, Solo."

Kylo raised an eyebrow. "Did you just call me Solo?"

Finn snickered.

Leia rolled her eyes.

Commander Larma D'Acy spoke up. "This plan can work."

Lieutenant Kaydel Connix nodded. "I agree."

"Aye," said Captain Temmin Wexley.

Rose Tico had a small smile on her lips. "Aye. This plan might just work."

Kylo wanted to step back away from the group, ears hot as the praise brought upon embarrassment. The most he got at the First Order was a "Yes sir" and "Very good sir." For some reason hearing them all of the Resistance agree to his plan, even though he felt so much reluctance and suspicion minutes ago, made his nerves rise.

For once something was going right.

"Do we have a ship's locale in mind?" Finn asked.

Kylo had to fight a smirk of satisfaction from playing at his lips. "The star destroyer _Finalizer_. I know where it is, and if it moved, then Ap'lek Ren or the stormtroopers know."

Leia let out a sigh of relief. "Then it is settled, we look over the reports, we find and take the _Finalizer_. I suggest we prepare ourselves for evacuation for the worst-case scenario. Dameron, you call the shots. Finn, you and Jannah coordinate with each other on the stormtroopers. Rose, you got the blueprints to analyze, Kaydel prepare to open communications with the star-destroyer and the base. Ben—" she turned to look at her son, "—I want you to help in the invasion."

Suddenly having to give up his own ship to get near the damn Resistance base was coming back to bite him. "Of course General."

* * *

Rey's eyes cracked open. Her body dragged and ached from her exertion the past few days, but she felt energy return to her.

Her sleep was hardly restful though.

The dream haunted her. The last few moments upon the second Death Star replayed before her own eyes. Luke, young, his hair not greyed in the slightest, taking his saber towards Darth Vader in a fit of rage.

Even with Luke so young, he was terrifying when he was angry.

She wondered if that was the same look he gave Ben when he took his lightsaber to him.

She looked at the holocron resting in her bag.

_The past may guide your future._

Sitting up, she used the Force to pull the golden pyramid to her hand.

_Let the darkness consume you, let it guide your way._

Rey breathed in and out. She set the holocron on her bunk and stared at it. Pulling upon her darker side—her frustration, her loneliness, her sadness—she pushed it to the holocron.

It shifted and the tip opened. A small holographic figure appeared from the center of the holocron.

Rey's eyes widened at the figure in dark robes. His face was partly disfigured and sickly pale with wrinkles sagging his skin.

"Ah young Sith. You found my hidden holocron on the stronghold," the creepy man spoke. "I am Darth Sidious."

The Emperor. The one who created Darth Vader.

"I am not a Sith," Rey said.

"But you opened my holocron, did you not?"

Fair point. "I need guidance. The dark side told me that I can save someone important to me. Someone who too is in the dark," Rey said. "But how…"

"Ah yes. The dark side can give you all the guidance you need. Let your anger, your rage, your sorrow, your grief, let it consume you. Enshroud yourself with the same darkness and you'll reach an understanding. The deeper you go, the chances of success increase."

"But…" Rey felt her eyes sting. "I can't let go of the light inside me. It won't allow me to go deeper."

"The light holds you back. Let it go."

She tightened her fist, tears streaming down her cheeks as she could not deny nor agree. With a wave of her hand, the holocron was closed and she flopped onto her back.

Maybe Sidious had a point, but wasn't that the conflict Kylo Ren had? She felt the pull inside of him once, but he seemed to reject it.

_Reject the light so you may pull him out of the dark._

The idea was insane, not one she was willing to fully go through with. Not yet. She had to see that spark of hope in Kylo's eyes. That light so far, according to the dark, it wasn't appearing.

She rolled over, squeezing her eyes shut as she thought about what to do next. Kuruk gave a clue about where to find other darksiders, Ushar Ren and Vicrul Ren. Maybe they would be better at telling her how to use the dark side.

The death place of the Sith…

Back on Jakku she heard stories of how the famous Luke Skywalker defeated Darth Vader and the Emperor on Death Star II, saving the entire galaxy from disaster and ending the Empire. That was the last of the Sith from what she knew.

But what happened to the Death Star II?

She needed information on it. Good thing she was on a First Order ship and they didn't seem to notice save for Mitaka and the Knights of Ren she was even there.

Picking up her bag she walked out of the tiny room right into Mitaka.

He swallowed visibly. "Last Jedi! You're awake. Do you um, need anything?"

Rey felt her stomach protest. "Food," she answered quietly. "And then information."

"Y-Yes of course."

He turned on his heel and made haste to grab her portions to chew on. Rey stepped back into her quarters, trying to breathe evenly.

Patience was something she was running out of and needed to recover. She waited for months already, what was a few more hours?

Once her stomach was satisfied and she stretched her muscles, Rey ordered Mitaka to take her to wherever the databases were.

He complied obviously, marching her to a room full of systems waiting for input.

"You will leave this room and speak of this to no one," she said with a wave of her hand.

"I will leave this room and speak of this to no one," Mitaka said, closing the door behind him as Rey set to her search.

_Death Star II. Destruction: 4 ABY._

_Location: Endor System._

_Last Seen: Kef Bir, Ocean Moon of Endor._

Perhaps her nightmare showed her what she needed to know.

Rey returned to her quarters, her thoughts on how to proceed to her goal now. She needed more rest beforehand, but her thin patience was crumbling. How long would it be till her visions came true? Until she could break free Ben Solo and end this war?

But what war was she even fighting anymore? Every time she thought about the pulls from both sides, one light, one dark, it caused her pain. Every time she thought of Kylo Ren and Ben Solo, it caused her pain. Was the war in her head or was it real like the Resistance versus the First Order?

It was frustrating to think about. She sat down on the floor of her quarters, trying to make the pain stop. To make the loneliness finally stop. To make her aching heart stop. To make the dwindling hope thrive. To find her way back to a reality she could deal with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to put in a Utada Hikaru lyric. I have no regrets lol.
> 
> I took some creative liberties with the holocron, I hope that was okay haha.
> 
> If you're wondering why Ben is still referred to as Kylo, it's his viewpoint on himself still, even if he is introducing himself as Ben to people now.


	10. Future Masters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A spark of hope draws the dark near.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to thank everyone for the support on this fanfic! It means so much to me to have so many enjoying this story. Seriously, thank you to the people who followed, kudos, or commented on this story.

_Chapter 10: Future Masters_

Poe Dameron didn't like Kylo Ren ever. Not when he ordered the execution of an entire village, not when he ripped his mind apart, and certainly not when he fired upon the Resistance at Crait.

Or shot at their ship. Or caused the death of Luke Skywalker.

Not a fan.

What really irritated Poe was the fact Ren was actually doing the right thing? What the kriff brought all this on? What had changed his mind so much he was standing in front of the Resistance, pouring out every single lick of the First Order's plans, telling them they're under a major threat of devastation and even insisting that they don't blow up a dreadnought because of people's _lives_? Since when did Ren care?

It was also unsettling to see him introduce himself as not Kylo Ren, but as Leia's _son_. Ben Organa-Solo.

And it irritated Poe that he took to calling him that name instead of Ren so fast.

The second Ren pointed that out Poe realized his mistake.

He still doesn't like the guy though. But he was here, trying to help the Resistance, and victory was in sight.

Poe understood the cost of life. He really did, which is why going along with this plan when it seems totally insane is fighting against every moral fiber of his being.

If this was an ambush they were walking right into, if it was a trap, Poe had no one to blame but himself for blindly trusting Ren's words. But some part of Poe did trust what he said. One week. One week before a dreadnought appeared and planned to blow their base into a giant crater. He didn't want to risk all they built up, their allies from other systems, in an attempt to flee. Did they still have hyperspace tracking? Or was that destroyed when Admiral Holdo obliterated the _Supremacy_?

And Leia trusted him, of course, she would, Ren was her son. But Rose seemed to trust him for whatever reason. And Finn was reluctant but made no actual protest.

This was insane. This plan of taking over a star-destroyer was insane. This was entirely insane just because it came from the mouth of a man who months ago wanted the entire Resistance _dead_.

Kylo Ren, he would never understand, but he had to deal with that.

Poe prepared his X-wing, BB-8 nipping at his heels with a million questions.

"Yes BB-8, Kylo Ren is not our enemy."

BB-8 chirped back.

"No BB-8, I don't think he is responsible for Rey leaving."

The droid beeped back sadly.

Poe crouched down to BB-8's level. "I know BB, we all miss her."

Well, Poe argued with her a lot. And didn't like it when she ran off on the _Falcon_ to do supply runs. In fact, they barely had any moments of camaraderie in the months following Crait aside from Poe begrudgingly thanking her for the aid and Rey polishing BB-8. But Poe missed the fiery spirit of the Last Jedi.

It came crashing down on him that Rey wasn't _just_ the Last Jedi. She was a person with thoughts and emotions. Poe sighed as he realized he treated her more like a symbol than a human.

Poe stood back up and glanced over at Ben— _Kylo Ren_ who was speaking to Rose.

Swallowing, Poe realized he never really asked the former Supreme Leader and Master of the Knights of Ren why he was even here in the first place.

* * *

Kylo left the room as soon as the meeting was finished with details laid out on the plan. He let out a shaky sigh as he walked through the Resistance Base and out into the forest to breathe in the fresh air.

He sat down on the rock Rey once frequently occupied and closed his eyes. This was his only moment to breathe before the rush to execute the plan kicked in.

Kylo had done it; he had convinced the leadership of the Resistance about Hux's plans. They trusted him for the moment.

Just like Rey trusted him back in the throne room.

Heart clenching, Kylo ran his fingertips over his scar, a reminder of Rey's capacity for hatred. He felt the dark side in her back then, when her blade slashed across his face and sent him to the snowy ground.

Footsteps cracked in the forest.

It was Rose Tico. "Ben Solo?" She called out his name.

He snapped his eyes open to see her standing in front of his rock.

Rose tilted her head. "Are you alright?"

No one had asked him that in so long. "I'm fine," he answered, perhaps a bit too harshly.

Rose nodded. "That's good. You left in such a rush I thought something upset you."

He blinked. "No, I just needed air. Time to think."

"About her?" the words left her mouth before her eyes widened. "I mean…"

He waved his hand, stopping Rose from apologizing. "It's fine."

"Rey mentioned someone a while back to me," Rose confessed. "I am surprised to see it was you."

Kylo's head snapped back to her. "She talked about me?"

"She never mentioned Kylo Ren once, but she did hint at Ben Solo."

" _I feel like I'm waiting for something that will never happen."_

He was in a meeting when he heard that. Rey was staring right at him when she said it was complicated.

Well, that made sense now. She was waiting for him.

And waiting.

And waiting.

He buried his face in his hands. What a mess.

"What do you know about Rey?" Rose questioned, not out of defensiveness for her friend but out of concern. "She has a red lightsaber now."

Kylo pulled his hands away. "A red lightsaber usually means one's aligned with the dark side."

He didn’t want to talk about how a red lightsaber was a result of taking a kyber crystal and bleeding it. Usually it would be another’s kyber crystal.

Kylo bleed his own kyber crystal to the point it cracked.

And Rey’s had cracked too, he could tell from the volatile nature of her saber-staff.

History repeated itself over and over.

"And that thing I saw, it's messing with her head?" Rose asked.

He nodded.

Rose looked at him with pity. "You're going to save her, right?"

"My attempts so far fall upon deaf ears."

She crossed her arms. "Hmm…"

"But I'm not…" Kylo sighed, trying to put it into words without really revealing how much he was enamored with Rey. "I won't let her fall. I owe her that much."

Rose smiled. "Well then, I trust you to bring her back, safe and sound."

He swore upon his grave he would bring her back, unharmed, normal. Just Rey.

"Is Chewie onboard with the plan?" Kylo said, switching topics to the new task he had to worry about first, as much as it pained him to say it.

She nodded. "Chewie said he wants you to pilot."

Kylo blinked. "Me? No."

Rose rolled her eyes and grabbed Kylo by his sleeve and dragged him out of the forest and to the front of the _Falcon_.

Chewie spoke with approval.

"No, Chewie, I can't… I…"

His uncle was adamant, saying that he trusts Ben Solo to do it.

Kylo ran his hand over his hair. "Chewie…"

Chewie prepared his bowcaster and gestured to the _Falcon_ , asking him to at least consider it.

It was one thing to be in the hunk of junk but to actually pilot it was an entirely different matter. There was something about piloting the _Falcon_ that was uneasy. A violation. An undeserved trust, despite what Chewie thought.

Rose kept her arms crossed. "Jannah, Finn, and I will be sneaking aboard, as we all agreed to."

"I know the plan!" Kylo snapped. He looked away from Rose, regretting his harsh tone immediately. "My apologies." Swallowing his pride and anxiety, he gave in. Rip the bandage off. "I will help pilot the _Falcon_."

Chewie patted Kylo's shoulder in response, nodding.

"Do you even know how to pilot this thing?" Poe said, walking by with BB-8 at his heels, observing the ship with awe and reverence.

A headache grew in Kylo's temples. The way Poe had called him by last name earlier that morning was more irritating than when Hux referred to him as Ren with that constant sneer. It was also amusing, given what Poe must think of Kylo with everything.

Kylo scoffed—actually scoffed, he was that offended by the ignorance—and crossed his arms. "That ship made the Kessel Run in _twelve_ parsecs. It's no TIE- _Silencer_ , but she still gives as good as she gets, _Dameron_."

Poe raised his hands in defeat. "Alright, you know your way around ships, _Solo_." A hint of a smirk graced his mouth.

Kylo's temper flared up at the usage of his last name _again_ in mockery. He practically stomped onto the _Falcon_ , Chewie following in tow and talking about how he has not changed and he acts like Han when he gets verbally one-upped by Leia.

"I'm _nothing_ like my father, Chewie," Kylo grumbled, making his way to the cockpit.

Chewie, however, disagreed with that assessment.

Kylo stopped his loud walking when he reached the two pilot chairs of the ship. So many memories refreshed in his mind of the time he would wake up from his nap and walk over to Han and Chewie talking while en route back to Chandrila.

Han and Leia's lives were so different. Too different. And Ben Solo suffered the consequences of this fact the most.

His hand reached out to brush over the captain's seat, looking around the illuminated control systems. It's been so long since he had seen this, used it even, with Han showing him after Ben woke up from a nightmare. Something about wanting to be the best pilot, like his father.

Kylo could definitely pilot the _Falcon_. He could pilot any ship he wanted.

Hesitant, he sat down and tapped his fingers on the armrest. Guilt prodded at his mind but he had to shove it aside for the moment.

"Solo," Finn called from the entrance of the ship. "They need you to interrogate your Knight of Ren."

Kylo rolled his eyes in annoyance while Chewie was laughing.

* * *

Leia sat outside the interrogation room, a glass window overlooking Ap'lek Ren bound in cuffs preventing her from accessing the Force. Finn stood with her, along with Jannah.

Kylo Ren entered the watch room, still disgruntled by his exchange with the supposed best Resistance pilot.

Leia raised an eyebrow at her son. "Ben?"

"You needed me?"

She nodded. Finn shifted in his seat.

"We need to know where the Finalizer is. All our spies reported back and said they're not sure where the ship is stationed and accessing might compromise their lives,“ Leia explained.

Kylo glanced at Ap'lek. "And you want me to get her to speak."

"She was the last person to be on that ship," Finn said.

Something was off about Finn ever since Pasaana, like he was hiding some sort of a secret. Kylo for one second contemplated interrogating him instead, but he found just by focusing with the Force, he found his conclusion about formerly FN-2187.

Kylo stepped past the three and entered the cell holding Ap'lek.

Ap'lek gave her former master her usual annoyed glare while he sat down in front of her, kicking his leg up on his knee and slouching, his fingers meticulously pressed together. "Enjoying your comfortable position?"

She sneered at him. "I didn't ask for your garbage opinion."

He remained indifferent at her jabs. "They told me you were the last person to possibly be on the star destroyer _Finalizer_."

"Yes."

"Do you know where it is?"

"Get me out of these cuffs and maybe I will talk," she said, haughty in her request. "Or are you too cowardly with the Resistance staring at you?"

"We both know, Ap'lek, that if you are to try something I can easily overpower you. I have no other equal in the Force."

She scoffed. "Except your girlfriend…" she muttered.

His temper flared but he didn't flinch an inch. Twitching his fingers and glancing at her cuffs, they clicked open.

Ap'lek looked down at her hands in mild surprise. Kylo can only imagine the shock Finn has on his face.

"Where is the star destroyer _Finalizer?_ "

"They were headed to the Ileenium system after the skirmish here to make sure the Resistance isn't hiding out in their old base."

"Only the _Finalizer_?"

"Yes."

"What about other ships?"

"Tch, as if I know. I remember Hux rambling about sending forces to Crait and D'Qar and even nowhere Jakku."

So the general was checking to see if the Resistance was going to flee. Kylo stood up. "I suppose you should get better arrangements…" He clicked the cuffs back onto her wrists. " _After_ we take the ship."

Ap'lek Ren glared. "Fine, but the second you get that damn destroyer…"

He waved her off. "I suggest you choose your next actions carefully Ap'lek Ren. You helped the Resistance but you're still a prisoner in their eyes."

Stepping out of the room, Finn shot up in his seat.

"What was that Solo?"

"Establishing trust."

Leia rubbed her temple with her fingers. "What did she know, Ben?"

"The _Finalizer_ is in the Ileenium System. Hux is keeping tabs on former Resistance bases in case we try to flee in the event of his test fire on this base."

Jannah sighed. "This just gets better and better right?"

* * *

Rey took another nap in her small quarters aboard the _Finalizer_. When she woke up, however, she felt something shift in the Force. Three major signatures were suddenly gone.

The Knights of Ren had left the ship.

Sitting up, Rey reached for the holocron again. Perhaps it will offer some advice.

Opening it once again using the dark side of the Force, the figure of Darth Sidious was projected from the center of the pyramid.

"Young Sith, you come again for answers."

"The other dark siders left. I have found the death place of the Sith. Why… Why should I even go there?" Rey asked herself more than she asked the projection of Sidious. Hesitation of what she might find on the Death Star II had stopped her from immediately jumping ship and going to Kef Bir, not to mention other priorities. "There is a war to be stopped and I have a part to play in it."

"War will continue even with you in it," Sidious explained. "The only way you can truly end conflict is by seeking the abilities to destroy your enemies. None who dare question your strength will be able to keep fighting."

All Rey wanted truly, her selfish desire outside of this war, was Ben Solo. "I don't want power to destroy. I want power to save."

"Then you must immerse yourself in the dark side. A planet called Exegol is where we go to meditate."

_Exegol._

Rey's eyes widened. Was that the planet in her vision when Kylo touched her hand? Perhaps it would help her draw closer to the dark side, to ease the pain and give her what she wanted. With a desperate tone, she begged the holocron. "Where is it?"

"For decades we kept it hidden from the prying eyes of the Jedi. Wayfinders have been used to guide Sith across the galaxy. Seek one out."

She heard enough. She closed the holocron and sat back against the wall to contemplate the words. Rey had decided the best place to find such an object would be the death place of the Sith. She had to thank the Knights of Ren for dropping that idea in her mind.

Thinking of the knights, she needed to know where they went.

Walking out of her small quarters, she stopped a passing stormtrooper in place. "You will take me to the bridge," she ordered.

"I will take you to the bridge."

With that, she was led to the very top of the star-destroyer. Windows looked out to the endless dotted darkness. Mitaka—Kylo's newfound puppet no doubt—was there.

"Last Jedi," he stuttered out. "You…"

All the men and women in the room stared at her.

A guard reached for their blaster and shot at her from the side. Rey put her hand out and stopped the shot in mid-air. "Where did the Knights of Ren go?" she demanded, leaving no one to question the underlying threat in her voice.

One officer squeaked out an answer. "They left for the _Executioner_."

"Where is that?"

"In the remains of the Hosnian System."

She didn't have time to go track them down all the way there just to ask more questions. Her fingers twitched. Horrified eyes flickered over to the beam still sitting in mid-air. "Give me coordinates to the Ocean Moon of Endor, Kef Bir."

The officers quickly obeyed, searching for the coordinates she sought.

Mitaka stepped forward with a drive in hand. "As you asked."

She didn't answer with anything but another demand. "I will leave this ship and you will leave me be."

Rey lowered her hand and the blaster shot fired backward into the wall behind the shooter. Turning on her heel, she left the bridge.

She meandered down the hallway, lost in her thoughts. Fear was encroaching on her, fearing if Kylo found out she was on this ship. He was determined to get at the holocron. And what of the Knights of Ren? Why did they leave?

So many questions and her only answers would lie on Exegol.

A shift in the Force stopped Rey in her tracks. She glanced at the lone stormtrooper guard, the only occupant to witness the inevitable conversation ahead. "You will leave this hall, out of sight and out of earshot." She waved her hand at the troop.

"I will leave this hall, out of sight and out of earshot." The stormtrooper left without another word.

She breathed in and out with frustration. "Kylo Ren."

* * *

The plan was simple. Finn, Jannah, and Rose would sneak aboard the _Finalizer_ and disable the shields. Poe and Kylo would demand the surrender of the captain—a man called Edrison Peavey—or else risk having the entire Resistance fleet attack. Kylo was really hoping for the latter part of the plan. They needed this ship in order to get remotely close to the dreadnought _Executioner_. He had to thank the fact the Resistance Fleet was able to recover in the months following Crait. It was a formidable force now, able to take on a few star destroyers with ease, but not enough to take down the First Order.

The one cinch in the plan was getting past the defenses of the First Order without getting blown to bits.

Kylo wasn't a fan of Canto Bight. He heard about it—even visited it once with Han—but he was always wary of how people were so involved with themselves, not like he had any room to complain about that.

He waited by the _Falcon_ on a side cliff of the town while Finn, Jannah, and Rose made their way to the hangar where ships were built and sold off to the First Order. It was a decent way from their spot by the water and where the casino was, but getting any closer by ship was not an option.

The sea-breeze fanned his face, a welcome change from the humidity of Ajan Kloss. He closed his eyes, allowing himself to feel the energy of the force in the movement of the waves and the creatures in the grass beneath his feet.

Something faintly moved in the Force. He could barely feel it, but it was there; it was something potent enough to grab his attention.

Opening his eyes he took a step forward, looking over the hills down to the large building making up the bulk of the casino.

The Force signature was down there. It didn't belong to anyone Kylo knew, not Rey, Finn, nor the Knights of Ren.

"Chewie, I will be back," he said to his uncle, pondering how he was going to get down there through the crowds to investigate without someone screaming. His robes still carried an air of intimidation.

Shedding his cape, tunic, and gloves, only armed with his lightsaber and a comlink, Kylo slipped down into the crowds. His sweater was loose enough to imply casual wear, but he was still a sore thumb amongst all the rich snobs. He managed to pull some fool into a back alley and forced them to give up their white, pristine long coat off of them and made them forget about it.

The Force signature got stronger and stronger but was still quite the distance away. He entered the casino and observed with natural curiosity. People played their ridiculous games while drinking wine and indulging in small pieces of food.

If the Force was trying to lead him here he wasn't pleased. The gambling reminded Kylo of when Han would hand him the golden dice to play with while he would bet credits with a bunch of other men around a table.

Everything just reminded him of his past, didn't it?

Walking across the black gloss floor, he managed to reach a balcony. The Force signature was stronger.

An arena with a race track was lit below. Something irked him about the sight of the furred fathiers racing in circles. It wasn't the creatures themselves, but the _caretakers_.

Children.

Thin, small children in rags, covered in dirt and sweat. Fathiers were dangerous if provoked or mishandled, so why was their care being entrusted with _children_? There were no adults watching over them either.

He had to focus before he went off course and threatened someone with a lightsaber about the work conditions.

Kylo followed the Force signature down a set of stairs to a back door leading to the stables. He inspected the area, making sure no one was around, and opened it and slipped inside.

The more he walked the more he questioned whether this was a good idea. But the Force signature was strongest here.

For some reason, Kylo wanted to see the fathiers up close. Walking into the main part of the stables, he was mesmerized by the large, sad eyes of the fathiers.

He bumped into a child—no older than ten at most, holding feed in his arms.

Kylo looked down at the kid. Seeing the children at a distance already bothered him, but this was much worse. The child looked thin, like he was hungry— _just like Rey once_ —and his clothes were so ragged and worn, stitched together with ties and haphazard thick twine.

"Sorry sir," the kid said, looking down trying to avoid eye contact.

Kylo crouched down to the child's height. "It's fine. Who are you?"

"T-Temiri Blagg, sir."

"Why are you working here?"

"Nowhere else to go, sir."

Kylo softened his facial features into a look of understanding. His usual expressionless façade was probably making the child nervous. "My name is Ben. Ben Solo."

The kid's eyes widened. "Whoa, your dad was Han Solo?!"

He had to prevent himself from wincing at the fact. "Yes."

"You ever rode on the _Millennium Falcon_?"

"Yes."

With excitement, Temiri took the feed in his hands and set it down in a fathier's trough—without touching or leaving his spot.

This child was Force-sensitive.

He stared in shock and Temiri looked concerned.

"Umm…"

Kylo blinked. "You're sensitive to the Force. So am I." He took out his lightsaber and hovered it in the air, just out of his palm.

Temiri stared with wide-eyed awe. "Wow…"

The comlink in his pocket beeped. Figures. Kylo reached into his coat and took one look at it before looking back at the child.

As tempting as it was to take Temiri back to the _Falcon_ , Kylo knew that the only one who would be capable of teaching was currently listening to a cursed Sith holocron. And of course, war. He was safer here, in this terrible slave-like encampment.

But it wasn't forever.

Kylo placed a hand on Temiri's shoulder. "I have to go, but… Someone will come back for you."

Temiri nodded, understanding. "Yeah. Resistance stuff right?"

"Something like that."

Kylo stood up and walked away, making one last glance at Temiri before leaving the stables.

" _Solo!"_ Finn's voice said over the comlink. " _We got the ship and are heading out of atmosphere."_

Kylo answered back. "Copy that."

As he hastened his pace through the crowds of people in Canto Blight, hoping to make it back before Chewie got on his case, he looked upon the people with utter hatred. Temiri and possibly the other kids who worked in the stables went with little food and wore stained rags like animals.

The people of Canto Bight reveled in wealth—funded by both the First Order and the Resistance—and it took every ounce of self-control he had to not just march off and use his lightsaber to empty those bank accounts into his own.

War made the rich richer and the poor poorer.

And this has happened under the New Republic's thumb. He hated that government for the longest time. He once had to attend a meeting with Leia and he saw why Leia's hair greyed faster than normal. The insistent bickering, the ineffectiveness of having over a dozen people in a room, and nothing ever getting done, Ben Solo was so confused by it all. It shouldn't be _that_ troublesome to make a decision, right? And what was with all the protocols? Why were they so overdone and complicated?

Reading about the Old Republic, where Palpatine—Darth Sidious—took over so meticulously and formed the Empire with Darth Vader as his enforcer, Ben Solo really did question the effectiveness of the Republic and what it was doing to the system. Seeing the state of Jakku and other backwater planets run by gangs had solidified it.

Not that the Empire had done any better if Leia took up to rebel—and he wanted the First Order to be better than the Empire. Pick up the flaws the Emperor had and improve on them.

Starkiller made him think otherwise.

The horror, the agony, how he was shaken when millions all died at once. The Force practically reduced him to his knees, anger vibrating through his entire being.

He didn't want that, he never did. He dared to disagree with Snoke's orders, his one hope being he could get the map out of Rey's head, had she not so thoroughly dug up his own insecurities and shoved them in his face.

_I didn't… I never wanted this._

Casting aside his white coat in an alleyway, Kylo left the town and made his way up the grass hill to the _Falcon_ hiding behind towering rocks.

The Force shifted. Her presence was behind him.

Turning around to see her, his breath hitched at the sight. Rey stood with hunched shoulders, her hood drawn over her head.

"Kylo Ren," she greeted in her low voice.

No, not her voice. The Sith's voice. Whatever was messing with her mental state was speaking.

"Rey," he spoke softly. "Where are you?"

"Like I would tell you. I wouldn't tell you where Skywalker was, why should I tell you where I am?"

"You have that same look in your eyes," he stated. "From the forest. From Ahch-To."

Murderous intent no doubt.

"Why do you have that holocron?" Kylo asked. "What is it telling you?"

"Why do you care?" she snapped back. "Aren't you just going to use me for my power? Manipulate me?"

It was like she was verbally slapping him every chance she got. "I would never use you," he said. "Rey…"

"Stop."

He sighed. "Whatever you believe that holocron is saying to you, it is lying."

"If it lies then it is surely lying about the existence of Exegol?"

_Kriff._

His blood ran cold. "Rey… That place is not…"

"I know what dwells there, and I know you know the location."

"I won't tell you."

She looked at him as if he spilled a great secret.

Double kriff. Rey tricked him.

"Doesn't matter, I will look for a way towards it at the heart of where the Sith fell." As soon as she spoke the words mindlessly her eyes widened in regret.

He only stared at her, speechless as he thought of the implications of her statement.

The second Death Star.

The Force closed the connection, and Kylo was left only with fear.

He refused to let her get to Exegol as long as he lived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: 3 times this chapter I wrote Ben instead of Kylo because of how he was acting ahahah.
> 
> The title of this chapter is a KH reference but also refers to something important later on... Much later on ;)
> 
> I do ramble on my tumblr blog about my thought processes on this fic sometimes... Chapter 12 is gonna be a wild ride for sure. ;)


	11. Ocean of Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dark slips away from the light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter did not go the way I thought it would lol.

_Chapter 11: Ocean of Stars_

Finn, Rose, and Jannah climbed over the hills and walked around the streets, passing over a bridge to a new island off of Canto Bight. In the distance was a giant hangar with many ships coming in and out.

"So," Jannah asked, breaking the comfortable silence the three were in. "What do you think of Ren?"

Rose pondered how exactly to answer that question. She was wary of him but he was polite enough upon first glance, and even more so as she watched his interactions with General Leia, his sincerity at the threat the First Order posed, Rose was quick to change her mind about him, especially when he introduced himself as Ben Organa-Solo. "Well based off of our intel and actually talking to Ben Solo himself, he's not the same man we associated with the First Order's brutality."

Finn was quiet, no doubt thinking about how to answer that question. When Rose was in medical, Finn told her about the giant scar down his back, a lightsaber wound put there by Ren.

Rose wasn't a fan of the First Order, not at all, but there was something about Ben Solo and the way he had looked at Rey—as if he was just a man with a broken heart. When she spoke to him in the forest, it was the same forlorn look. The way he talked about Rey was like he coveted her, in a different light than everyone else in the Resistance.

It was endearing, but Rose also knew not everyone saw it that way.

"I still question the decision of giving him that lightsaber…" Finn answered as they climbed down the cliff.

Jannah raised an eyebrow. "You _what_?"

Rose rolled her eyes. "Finn spared his life."

"Why?" Jannah asked. "I mean…"

"Well if I hadn't, we wouldn't be here right now knowing we’re under a major threat from the First Order."

Jannah nodded. "Kylo—Ben seems distracted by something though."

_I won't let her fall. I owe her that much._

Rose smiled to herself, her little secret giving her some level of amusement. "Aren't we all, with the First Order breathing down our necks?"

* * *

Kylo was not at any more ease sitting in the pilot's chair on the _Falcon_. A part of him knew he didn't belong there. Another thing made him uneasy; _Rey_ was fully on his mind. Moving at light-speed through the stars, Chewie was asking questions out of concern.

"I don't want to talk about it Chewie," he waved him off.

Chewie grumbled something about him being too stubborn like his mother and father.

Arriving at the edge of the Mid Rim, near Takodana— _where he first met Rey_ —the Resistance Fleet was prepared and in formation.

Kylo sighed and turned on the comlinks. Time to set the plan in motion.

" _Millennium Falcon, do you read me?"_ Poe's voice hailed him.

"Yes. This is… _Solo_ reporting in with Chewbacca." Kylo's irritation of that damned new nickname was vocalized loud and clear.

" _Good. There's only a few TIEs surrounding the Finalizer but the shields are new and improved, as you said."_

Another voice in the comlink spoke, belonging to Rose.

" _We'll need to take down the power source once we're inside the ship."_

"The shield power is fueled in Docking Bay Five. The access code is 13814. Hopefully, they didn't change that, or else you might have to risk our defenses later by destroying the access panel."

" _Copy that Solo."_

He regrets ever introducing himself as Ben Organa-Solo. "Commander you in position?"

" _Yes."_

"Then we wait."

Silence.

Jannah's voice came over the comlink. " _We're landing inside the docking bay."_

"Which one?" Kylo asked.

" _Docking Bay Four."_

"If I'm guessing right…"

" _Whoa Solo,"_ Finn's panicked voice spoke over the comlink. " _Guessing?!"_

"Then you need to get into the main hallway past a slew of guards. Might need to disguise yourselves."

" _Oh come on!"_

Kylo would have just used the Force and intimidation to clear the way, but he wasn't the one with sneaking aboard a ship experience, even if said experience went badly months ago.

" _Copy that Solo,"_ said Rose's voice. " _Going silent."_

Kylo sat back in his chair, glancing at a smug Chewie before trying to calm his own nerves. If this plan failed then the Resistance would never trust him and he was good as dead.

And Rey would die too. His equal in the Force… His other half.

He sighed. Now he was just believing in romantic fairytales.

Kylo stared at the ship's systems, the side of his knuckle against his lips as they waited. He wanted a distraction, but the only viable one was Rey, and all she did was hurt to think about. He resorted to thinking about what comes after the First Order. A lot of arguments of what government to establish and clinging to the old ways no doubt.

Ten minutes passed.

" _Solo do you read me?"_ said Poe.

"Yes, Dameron."

" _Didn't your parents sneak aboard the Death Star?"_

Ah yes, when his father met his mother on the Death Star. Luke mentioned once Han's initial impressions of Leia. Something along the lines of _“_ _Wonderful girl. I don't know if I want to kill her or if I'm beginning to like her!_ _”_

"Yes. What about it?" Kylo answered back.

" _Surely you have stories to tell about it?"_

Why did Poe care?

"They met. They dove into a trash compactor together. Skywalker and Chewie were there. They nearly got crushed like idiots. Do I really have to explain more?"

" _Such great morale boost, Solo."_

"If you're looking to _me_ of all people for morale boost Dameron, then I suggest you seek a medical droid instead."

Chewie made a comment about how he was a terrible storyteller.

"Then you tell the story Chewie," Kylo snarked.

" _We're at the panel. The code worked,"_ Jannah said through the comlink suddenly. Well, so much for the upper leadership of the First Order being smart.

The voice of Finn was ranting in the back. " _Who is dumb enough to not change the access codes after a coup?!"_

"People with better things to do, Finn," Kylo answered. "Disable the shields. Can you find the power grid?"

" _Maybe. Where would it be located?"_ Rose asked.

"In the center of the ship. It isn't enough to just disable the shields, we need to knock out power temporarily."

" _Got a code?"_

"13714."

" _Oh come on! They only changed one number?!"_ Finn shouted over the comlink.

"Why are you so surprised? You were in the system," Kylo reminded him.

Jannah's voice spoke over the comlink before Finn could retort. " _We found the power room."_

"Good. On my command, you cut the power." Kylo switched the channel to the rest of the Resistance Fleet. "Commander? You read?"

" _Move into position."_

Kylo moved the _Falcon_ into position along with the rest of the fleet.

" _First Order Star Destroyer_ Finalizer _, this is Commander Poe Dameron of the Resistance. We have your entire ship surrounded by our entire fleet. I suggest you surrender now."_

For one moment there was no response from the _Finalizer_. Probably deciding what to do at this display of force. " _This is Captain Peavey of the Finalizer. You have one minute to retreat before we open fire. Your ships cannot penetrate our shields and you will be reduced to dust."_

Kylo hailed the _Finalizer_. "Captain," Kylo said, practically hearing the fear in the silence that followed. "Your shields are gone. I would rather we not engage least you want to have the entire flagship of the First Order destroyed by the Resistance Fleet. Do not even think of jumping to light-speed, we will find you and the rest of the First Order fleet. You have no options in this matter, especially when your engines are cut and your power supply disappears. Surrender—or die foolishly."

" _Kylo Ren—why should we take the words of a traitor? The Resistance does not even have light-speed tracking."_

Kylo switched to the comlink to Finn, Rose, and Jannah. "Cut the power."

" _On it Solo,"_ replied Jannah.

Switching back to the link between Poe Dameron and the _Finalizer_ , all Kylo could head was pure static for a good minute then voices returned. The emergency power was on.

" _Captain, the shields are down too!"_

" _What?"_

Kylo recognized the second voice. Lieutenant Mitaka.

" _And it's Ren. He knows how our light_ _-_ _speed tracking works. He must've given the intel to the Resistance and they now have it enabled."_

Well, that would have been true if the Resistance had time to engineer such a way from the information Kylo stole, but they didn't know that.

" _We must surrender,"_ Mitaka declared, trying and failing to keep his voice steady. " _Our own soldiers are rebelling as we speak. There is chaos in the hangars and there is no power."_

" _Kriff. Fine. What are your terms of surrender, Commander?"_

Poe was all but too happy to give the terms and conditions. " _Lower your weapons and order your remaining troops to stand down. Allow us on board. Swear your allegiance to us."_

"… _Do as they say."_

"This is entirely too easy, Dameron," Kylo warned. "I expected better resistance than this."

He could hear the shrug in Poe's tone. " _Or maybe it was entirely too easy once we disabled their shields and tapped into their power supply."_

"It's a trap."

" _Says the man who insisted we take over a star_ _-_ _destroyer."_

* * *

Stepping out of the _Falcon_ onto the floor of the _Finalizer's_ hangar, Kylo braced himself to have all blasters aimed at him. Lightsaber in hand but not activated, he pushed his suspicions aside and focused. Something wasn't entirely right. That lingering feeling crawled to the back of his neck. He stepped out to find Mitaka and a squadron of stormtroopers with their weapons lowered to greet him.

"Lord Ren," Mitaka greeted, visibly swallowing. "I trust you want to be escorted to the bridge?"

"I want an explanation first, but yes," Kylo said, keeping his tone curt. "What is all this?"

"My lord we uh…" Mitaka looked fearful. "Many of the stormtroopers were displeased with General Hux."

"And?"

"Sir," one captain stepped forward, taking off her helmet. "The Hosnian Cataclysm was a tragedy that shan't be repeated. Under _your_ leadership, we were doing better work than before. The difference between you and Supreme Leader Snoke was like night and day after the assault on Crait."

"I'm sure Hux has informed you all by now, I was Snoke's killer, not the Last Jedi," Kylo reminded them. "I am but also a traitor to the First Order." He couldn't even understand how and why they were looking to him as a leader. Kylo Ren, Ben Organa-Solo, was not fit to lead. All he had to go off of was the glimpses of his mother's demeanor and handling when he was a child. It was outright nauseating to think about people somehow looking up to him in a positive light as if he can actually do something good for once in his life.

"Sir, then so are we. We are all traitors willing to dedicate to a better cause."

Poe sauntered over, other Resistance members in tow. "Doesn't look like a total trap to me," he mused, seeing the scowl on Kylo's face. Poe turned to the stormtroopers. "So you're all betraying the First Order?"

Kylo gestured to Mitaka. "He can explain better than I…" He stopped, sensing something move in the Force. Something he wished he realized was there sooner amidst all the fear of failing this mission.

_Her._

Kylo stalked out of the room, chasing after her Force signature. "Commander, Lieutenant, lockdown this ship! No one leaves!"

"Yes sir!" Mitaka stuttered out.

Poe was confused. "Solo?! What the hell is going on?"

He ignored the protests, breaking out into a full sprint. He had to find her, he had to stop her. He practically slid across the floor to turn down another hallway.

She was on the ship and he hadn't realized.

And now it was getting farther away. Farther, and farther, until it was a faint presence in the Force now.

He sprinted still, trying to chase that connection into another docking bay where he spotted a shuttle in the distance. Out of breath, Kylo watched as the former last Jedi fled in the distance.

She was too far out of range to pull back.

"Sir?" an officer asked him. "Orders?"

Kylo steeled himself. "Prepare me a ship. I will be on the bridge."

"Yes sir."

Ascending to the bridge, he leaned his forehead against the elevator's walls. He was so caught up in paranoia and a million questions he let her slip away.

Upon reaching the bridge, Poe was escorting Captain Peavey away, asking the rest of the bridge who was swearing their allegiance to the Resistance.

"Anyone who doesn't want to be in a cell can stay but only if you'll swear to aid the Resistance," Poe declared.

One communications controller meekly raised their hand. "I will stand by the Resistance if Kylo Ren is our leader."

Poe sighed in exasperation. "Of course."

"Solo!" Finn exclaimed, noticing Kylo's presence. "What happened?"

With an emotionless tone, Kylo gave his answer. "Rey fled the ship."

Finn's jaw dropped. "She was here?"

Poe's eyes widened in surprise. "What? Why was she on this ship?"

The death place of the Sith. Kylo turned to Mitaka. "Please get me the coordinates to the Ocean Moon of Endor."

"Yes sir," Mitaka saluted, glancing at a person operating the system's coordinate log.

"Why was she on this ship of all places?!" Finn demanded again.

Kylo remained ever the stoic. "She wanted information of a certain place close to the Sith: the Death Star II."

"What? Oh, you've got to be kidding me," Finn stared at him in disbelief. "More dark side?! This sounds insane…"

"Get used to it. You're Force-sensitive now," Kylo said, making the other man's jaw drop. Kylo glanced at Poe. "Well? What now?"

Poe sighed again. "I thought you would have a plan, Solo."

"I was concerned more about the first plan working."

Finn spoke up, free of his shock that Kylo figured out his secret so easily. "Rose and Jannah are bringing the shields back up. The stormtroopers are swearing loyalty to you."

Because of Mitaka somehow choosing to listen to Kylo's orders over Hux's. Kylo rubbed his temple with his gloved fingers. He really wished he could overlook all their options right now, but he couldn't even focus on that. He just wanted to find Rey. Go to her. Repay the favor she did all those months ago on the _Supremacy._

It would only be half a day, and leaving Poe in charge was a more beneficial idea. Poe was charismatic with people, whereas Kylo was sure his power over the Force was intimidating and frightening people into compliance than anything. Fear wasn't something they needed right now.

"Poe Dameron is in charge for the time being. Hail the Resistance Base, let the General know of our success," Kylo announced.

Poe raised an eyebrow at Kylo. "You want me in charge?"

"Why are you questioning it?"

"Well seeing as Mitaka and the stormtroopers think you're a better leader, I figured…"

Kylo couldn't believe what he was going to admit. "You're the face of the Resistance. General Leia put you in charge of this entire operation for a reason. In any case, I have some business to attend to and I trust you won't destroy the ship in my absence."

"Was that a compliment, Solo?"

"Don't push it, Dameron," Kylo turned on his heel with a flourish of his cape and left the bridge.

"Sir?" An officer walked up to him with haste. "A shuttle has been prepared. We have the coordinates to Kef Bir. It was accessed earlier in our systems."

So _that_ was why Rey was here. Kylo nodded. "Thank you."

As he walked to his shuttle, something else occurred to him.

None of the Knights of Ren were here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled immensely with this chapter because it's a lot of stuff involving plans and forcing a surrender without casualties and forgive me if things are a bit janky in execution because I have no idea how ships work outside of pirate ships lol. First time I wrote anything like this in my writing career but hey, gotta learn somehow. :)
> 
> Chapter 12 is pretty much done just needs editing and I will post within the next couple of days, then we get my favorite chapter so far, _Chapter 13_. <3
> 
> Thank you, see ya next time!


	12. Different Name, Same Fate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One of the greatest sins, envy is.

_Chapter 12: Different Name, Same Fate_

Vicrul always regarded Lord Ren as meticulous. Strong, calculating, ruthless. And Lord Ren always delivered high praise for Vicrul's ability in the Force, that which was the highest of the Knights of Ren. Ushar was the second strongest, followed by Trudgen.

Then that bastard _Kylo Ren_ came along. Unstoppable. Unmovable. _Untouchable._ He was able to shake off and push back any Force probing into his mind, overwhelming his opponents right back, reading the Knights minds without fail. Kylo Ren couldn't be overwhelmed, no one was his equal. Save for Snoke, darkness incarnate, a lingering remnant of the Sith taken form in a malformed infestation.

Lord Ren knew that Kylo's power and potential were not to be wasted, though Kylo's alignment was very questionable. It didn't take a strong Force user to sense the light within Kylo. Vicrul could sense it upon meeting him. His conviction to the dark side was questionable.

Extremely questionable.

So what if he had claimed he killed Skywalker? So what if he had murdered all the Jedi in the temple? Burn that light-infested hole to the ground? Vicrul was no fool. The light in Kylo Ren was still fighting within, clashing against his dark like a tsunami battering a stone wall. And yet Snoke was all too keen on focusing on him. Probably because he was powerful, the strongest Force user in their group. Even Lord Ren was rather accepting of the former Jedi padawan.

Vicrul hated Kylo with every fiber of his being. Oh, how he desired to crush the conflicted legacy carrier. Strangle that light till nothing remained if it meant having power, to be the strongest.

"I don't trust Kylo to go through with anything. He talks big for someone who looks like a pathetic child trying to be one of us," Vicrul muttered with unveiled disdain to Ap'lek Ren one day during a sparring session.

Ap'lek, known for her spiked tongue, rolled her eyes. "You're just jealous."

"That's ridiculous," Vicrul responded in a short tone. "He's a light-sider. A Jedi. Why Lord Ren keeps him around in our ranks is beyond me. At least his clothes aren't just rags anymore."

"Please, your envy is showing. Do I have to inform Lord Ren that you're mad that someone is more powerful than you? 'Oh look Ren, Vicrul is mad that we got the legacy of Darth Vader to steal his thunder.'"

Vicrul took his lightsaber and ignited it, pointing it at Ap'lek's chin. "Shut the hell up."

"Feisty. Aren't you just proving my point?"

Vicrul lowered his lightsaber. "Still, his conviction is untrustworthy. Until I see evidence of his devotion to the dark side I would be wary."

Ap'lek nodded. "You think he'll let his weakness get in the way? I can sense it too you know. I'm not an idiot."

"Ren doesn't think so. After all, he claimed to have killed Skywalker."

Perhaps Vicrul was more happy to be wrong about his viewpoint on Kylo when Kylo himself stood over the body of Lord Ren, bloodlust evident in his dark eyes and an unstable lightsaber in his grip.

With an unwavering conviction, Kylo stepped past the corpse and towered over most of the knights. "You follow me now," he declared.

All six of them were pleased to do so.

Kylo Ren was focused. Dedicated. The words of Snoke guided him—guided his knights too. Vicrul listened to each piece of advice, taking note that the Master of the Knights of Ren clutched onto the words as if it was a life-preserver.

"Do what the dark side wishes," Kylo said on several occasions. "Do its bidding. As Lord Vader once did."

From theft to slaughter, the Knights of Ren traveled about. They operated outside of the First Order, merely servants of their Master; who was deeply convicted in his embrace of the dark side. Vicrul wondered if a Jedi of the light was so easily pulled to the dark side as he thought. Kylo was evidence of falling deep, deep into it.

Yet that wasn't enough. Vicrul knew something was preventing Kylo from being in everlasting darkness, and then it hit him. Kylo's chase for being deemed a Sith like Darth Vader lacked one key ritual: killing the one you love most. There was no affection at all between Kylo and Ren, save for the praises and guidance Ren offered. Snoke? Snoke was an entirely different influence.

Rumors spread of the death of Han Solo, along with his son, Ben Solo. Vicrul was far away on a different planet when he heard this event, among other things such as the destruction of Starkiller Base, the Resistance destroying the _Supremacy_ in one fell swoop, and a new Jedi rising from the ashes in the wake of Skywalker's _actual_ death.

Vicrul snapped his own comlink in his hand at the news.

Kylo had not killed Skywalker when he had the chance, both times. The only reason he was even their master was because he had slain Ren willingly and he was undoubtedly the stronger Force user.

He asked Ushar—the quietest one of the knights—his thoughts on their leader.

"I sense the conflict from miles away," Ushar finally spoke. "His weakness is growing."

Vicrul formed a sneer of a smile. "Isn't that just lovely? Our own master is slipping again. I informed Ap'lek—I even told Ren before he was killed—that Kylo is feeble and weak, conflicted between light and dark. Conflict preys on weakness of the mind!"

How it frustrated him to no end that Kylo squandered his potential for greatness still. He was the most powerful Force-user the galaxy had ever known, surpassing even his own grandfather. Snoke was the dark side incarnated, but Kylo had the power to be even _more_.

The Last Jedi however, piqued Vicrul's interest. She was resolute in her affinity towards the light. She was strong enough to murder Snoke.

But something else about her was the most intriguing.

Vicrul saw his master for the first time in weeks following the destruction of Starkiller. Supreme Leader Kylo Ren was his title now. The knights weren't affiliated with the First Order—they held no rank, so they were free to move about Kylo's ship as they wanted.

"The Last Jedi, master?" Trudgen questioned, the six knights all in Kylo's throne room.

Kylo had his leg kicked up, his knuckles pressed to his lips in contemplation. Vicrul always got that feeling of irritation whenever he tried to guess what Kylo was thinking. Never could he ever read his mind, not even attempting to do so lest he risks Kylo's infamous rage.

"The Last Jedi murdered Snoke. She is a strong…" Kylo paused as if he was trying to finish that sentence properly. "Person with much capacity for darkness."

Vicrul noticed a particular detail, a new one on Kylo's own face.

Ah. Finally. An equal to Kylo Ren.

When the Knights of Ren were off the _Finalizer_ , Vicrul took his comrades aside and asked them all one burning question.

"You noticed his lack of rage? His anger? His darkness?" he asked the other five knights.

Trudgen nodded. "I did."

Ap'lek was in disgust. "Ugh. Fine. You were right Vicrul about his conflict getting in the way."

Vicrul smirked. "I was always right and you know it."

Cardo, the youngest of the six, stepped up to the plate. "But he is our master! We swore undying loyalty."

"We obey the dark side. Our master is no longer doing its bidding. I suggest you reconsider where your true loyalty lies, Cardo."

Kuruk spoke up. "The light is pulling him in, however, in the event he turns again…"

"Then we will have to fight our own master, I know," Cardo muttered. "Still…"

Trudgen placed a hand on Cardo's shoulder. "We should be wise to watch and wait. Vicrul, you should learn patience. I trust in our master."

Ap'lek rolled her eyes. "And what if waiting and watching fails? Who is going to lead? The Last Jedi?"

Vicrul had to laugh. "She's the only one who bested our master in a duel."

Kuruk stroked his beard. "Interesting… He said she has the capacity for the dark."

"Well duh," Ap'lek said as if it was the most obvious fact in the world. "She gave him that scar right down his pretty-boy face. No one else here has been able to land so much as a hit. Do you really think that is the goody-goody Jedi talking?"

No one else answered, a lingering silence befalling the six knights.

Ushar finally broke his own silence. "If not her, then who?"

All eyes wandered to Vicrul. A surge of pride rushed through him as he was regarded as the strongest of the Knights of Ren aside from Kylo.

Trudgen had to hold back a snort. "Vicrul would have to defeat Kylo Ren first, and my credits are on the Last Jedi performing that feat."

Vicrul's eyes narrowed at his comrade. "I can be powerful enough to best our own master when it comes down to it."

"Then what about the Last Jedi? Hmm?" Trudgen prodded with his words, knowing it was irritating Vicrul like mad.

"What about her? She's just a lucky light-sider who can easily go to the dark. Kylo said so himself," Vicrul huffed.

"If the Last Jedi were to fall to the dark side, where would balance come from?" Cardo said, quietly to himself.

Ap'lek rolled her eyes. "Are you Skywalker now Cardo?"

"No! I'm just concerned… We need light, don't we? Light and darkness coexist; we thrive off of sniffing out the light and extinguishing it. What will happen when there is no more Jedi? No more light?"

"Who cares?"

Vicrul certainly didn't care.

All he wanted was power. Power strong enough to finally defeat Kylo Ren and take what was rightfully his. Control over the dark side. The strongest, the most powerful Master of the Knights of Ren. Undefeated in the Force.

They all expected Kylo to lead the First Order channeling the dark side in the coming months. Track down the Resistance who had thoroughly so humiliated him on Crait.

Of course, that wasn't what happened.

Kylo wouldn't disclose his orders to the Knights of Ren, but they could all sense it to varying degrees.

Cardo and Kuruk stayed on the _Finalizer_ the most. Vicrul was annoyed at the fact he was more Force-sensitive than the others. Kylo Ren's light was obnoxious, like a crying child. He suspected it had everything to do with the Last Jedi. Before Starkiller, Kylo buried his conflicted nature, and now it was back in full force. His spirit, split to the bone, and conveniently when the Last Jedi rises in the Force.

It was enough to the point that Vicrul bowed before his leader and confronted him on it.

"Master," Vicrul spoke, keeping his head down. "You have not done much about the Last Jedi, the Resistance, or reveal to us, your loyal knights, your plans for the future."

Kylo, sitting upon his throne still, observing Vicrul with dark, unreadable eyes. If Vicrul didn't have his doubts about Kylo's allegiance in the Force, he would have assumed this man before him was a Sith, the true heir to Vader. He radiated nothing but pure dark energy in how he carried himself.

Too bad the light was brighter.

"And why are you curious about my plans for the First Order?" Kylo asked. Every word was measured, calculated. "The First Order shouldn't concern you. Had I not given you freedom to do as you please in this galaxy?"

Vicrul stood up in defiance. "You know damn well that the First Order affects us knights. You're our master yet keep us in the dark—"

He stopped, his throat constricted.

Kylo's fingers were in the air, glaring him down with unrelenting anger. " _I_ am your master and you swore loyalty to _me_."

Vicrul could sense his mind being invaded amidst the choking hold on his throat. He pushed back, shielding only his most dark and powerful secret: his envy.

Kylo let him go. "Get out of my sight."

Vicrul was glad to be out of that room. Everything Kylo needed to know was torn out of his head without fail. He left the ship and went off with Ushar, ranting and rambling to the more quiet knight.

One day while planet-side on a lowly desert planet—Tatooine—Vicrul felt something speak to him in the Force.

_Power you seek._

Ushar followed after him into a cave. "What is it Vicrul?"

Vicrul tapped into his dark side more. "Something… You hear it?"

He nodded.

Going deeper and deeper into the cave, the whisper grew louder and louder.

And before the two Knights was a small flat triangular device with a red light in its center.

* * *

Armitage Hux was rather annoyed with the Knights of Ren hanging about the _Finalizer_. He didn't like Ren to begin with and his ability to use the Force towards him as a punching bag. But having six more Force users aboard, coming and going, made him extremely uneasy. He didn't understand the Force other than it was power and easily Hux would be shoved into a wall at a flick of a hand.

He hated the Force, but Hux was also no fool.

Kylo Ren was doing everything opposite of what Supreme Leader Snoke set the First Order to do initially aside from conquering the galaxy. He refused to allow communications between the cartels—the very benefactors behind the First Order. Instead of building a new mega-class dreadnought he simply relocated to the _Finalizer_ instead, their old flagship.

Ren also removed various blueprints from the archives. It was a stroke of luck that Hux quietly hid away a copy of a death-cannon underneath his leader's nose. The only obstacle he had was building it without being discovered. Hux knew he would be straight in an interrogation chair if Ren caught on.

Perhaps befriending the Knights of Ren could be a worthwhile advantage.

"Ugh, he keeps staring out the window like a lost Ewok," Ap'lek Ren complained one day while sitting in a lounge. Across from her was Ushar Ren, quietly poking at his portions.

Hux knew exactly who she was talking about, but he remained oblivious. "Who are you speaking about?" he asked as he walked in and sat with the two knights.

"Our master of course. Do you think anyone else in the First Order is prone to brooding as much?" Ap'lek said as if she was talking about the weather.

Hux nodded, lips tightening into a scowl as he thought of how Ren was temperamental and spent way too much time in his old private quarters upon this ship.

"I seem to have noticed that he isn't as focused of late. I share some _concerns_ about Supreme Leader Ren," Hux said, sowing the seeds of doubt into Ren's knights.

Ushar leaned over and whispered something to Ap'lek, startling Hux.

Ap'lek smirked. "What's your game, Armitage? You seem to have some sort of vendetta against our master."

Hux paled but kept himself resolute. "Ren decided to eliminate all blueprints drawn up by our engineers to replace Starkiller Base. I have cause for concern."

"That big superweapon of a planet?" Ap'lek said. "That thing was bound to get blown up anyways."

Well, she had a point. It was large enough to destroy five planets in a system, but a bigger target meant ease to the enemy. Perhaps a replication of the Death Star was not the best idea, but that was why they had the cannon to put onto a dreadnought, big enough to do some major damage towards their adversaries.

"Supreme Leader Ren," Hux began, letting his irritation show through. "Is unfocused, turning away from our goals as the First Order outside of ruling over the galaxy."

Ap'lek laughed. "Doesn't surprise me. His light got obnoxiously bright recently."

Hux gave a slimy smirk. "I don't understand Force users but it appears we're all on the same page."

Ushar finally said something the entire time. "Of course we know. We read your mind."

Unnerved, Hux nodded along, still elated that the Knights of Ren were the gateway to overthrowing Ren. "Ultimately," he leaned forward, lowering his voice. "I want Kylo Ren to lose."

* * *

Vicrul stood on Exegol, feeling the rush of power surge through his veins. Everything was in place. The coup planned by Hux, the Knights of Ren all agreeing with him to aid in taking down their master, the power to actually destroy Kylo Ren should Vicrul ever see his scarred face.

There was no telling what Vicrul was or is anymore. What remained was power, a swirling, crackling darkness fueling his blood.

All that was left was to break the last remaining light in the galaxy.

Vicrul handed Ushar the Sith holocron. "Let the Last Jedi have a taste of the Sith. I'm sure her feelings for our master will be enough of a motivator."

Ushar nodded, a sinister grin ebbing onto his thin mouth. "It shall be done."

The simple truth came to him, guided by the ghosts of the Sith. Vicrul had gained enough hatred to fuel his abilities to finally read Kylo Ren's mind, even for one moment. He saw the mind of the Jedi Killer hopelessly enamored by one very special Jedi.

As the lightning crackled between his fingers, Vicrul's lust for power, to see Kylo Ren broken, the Last Jedi utterly devoted to the Sith, all folded together in the maelstrom of whispers. Golden eyes observed a half-broken throne, knowing that the last remaining light in the galaxy was destined to take her place there, crushing hope between her fingers with the blood of Kylo Ren, heir to Darth Vader.

Or, the blood of Ben Solo, the heir to the Skywalker legacy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vicrul is not a Nort. Just... figured I should say that lol.
> 
> Thank you all for so much support given to this story!!! It means so much to me.
> 
> I will be updating _I Won't Stay Silent_ before I drop Chapter 13.


	13. Darkness Prevails and Light Expires

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The darkness sings in triumph.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter warranted a moodboard all of its own haha. I haven't done manips before for Reylo.

_Chapter 13: Darkness Prevails and Light Expires_

The ocean air tugged at her cloak. Ruins of a half-completed Death Star laid upon the shallows of the sea.

_Only the Sith can save him._

Rey made her way down the cliff, spotting a small platform leading into the main part of the ruins. The tap of her boots against the metal and puddles of water were accompanied by the voices lingering in the air.

So many voices.

So. Many.

They guided her way to this place; there was no point in backing out now. Her slip-up with Kylo Ren nagged at her nerves more than the voices ever did. She half-expected him to follow her—no—he would _definitely_ be following her. Desiring to reclaim his own lightsaber.

His presence in the Force was startling on that star-destroyer. He had returned, but for what reason? Why?

_His power is equal to your own._

How did he find her on the First Order's ship? His own Knights of Ren overthrew him, so there was no chance that he would have been informed. None of it made sense to her. Kylo Ren, however, was relentless. She gave him that.

Safely inside the stained walls of the Death Star, Rey maneuvered over debris and found herself at the edge of a large crevasse. She took a few steps back and made a leap towards a large makeshift scaffold. Her knees hit the steel, making her shake as she clawed for something to grab onto. Pulling herself up onto steady ground, she took hollow breaths. The dark side of the Force was singing around her, pulling her into a loving embrace.

Power. Pure, raw, power.

 _Let your_ _hatred and sorrow_ _sway you. Give in._

A familiar presence in the Force was moving, though obscured by the ever-lasting waves of darkness. Rey snapped her eyes open. It was him.

Anger surged through her veins.

She had to find that wayfinder first. Moving through the halls, she passed by the remains of stormtrooper helmets and crackling wires, threatening to touch the water on the floor. Tip. Tap. Her boots moving against the damp surface echoed around her. To one's ear it was all that could be heard, but not to Rey.

Voices. Guides. The voice of what she thought her parents would sound like for the longest time whispered in her ear, along with a voice she could now put a name to. Darth Sidious.

A dull light from her right caught her attention. Making a turn, she found herself a most familiar sight from her dream. Half of the room was sunken in, debris everywhere. She reached up with both hands onto the ledge and pulled herself up.

The darkness was the most potent here. A destroyed throne laid in pieces in front of her. The large expansive window was absent of glass, allowing a breeze to fan at her cloak of black.

She turned her head to look at a half-open door. With a twitch of her fingers, Rey pulled upon the darkness echoing off the walls and jerked the door all the way open.

It was dark inside the chamber. The echoes, the whispers of Sith past swirling in soft, faint caresses to her ears. On the floor at her feet was a small device, blinking. It was shaped in a flat triangle, glass in its center with a red light. She reached down and brushed her fingers over it, taking it into her hand.

New echoes—ones belonging to the voice of Kylo Ren—rang in her ears.

"You tried to kill me."

She gritted her teeth. "You tried to get me to join you!" She ignited her saber-staff, eyes darting around the dark room, waiting for his presence.

"And now you'll die. I'll destroy you," he said, his voice not shaking, empty of that gentle tone he gave her back in the hut on Ahch-To.

The masked figure of Kylo Ren appeared before her. The helm on his head was fragmented, put back together through red veins.

Fear shook her, freezing her in place. This monster…

Pushing it off, she raised her saber staff at the man in front of her, falling forward and out of the chamber into the dull light once again. The wayfinder fell out of her hand and slipped across the room.

Before her was Kylo Ren, unmasked, holding her one single hope of getting Ben Solo back in his grasp.

* * *

Following Rey's Force signature was a blur. Darkness plagued the entirety of the Death Star II. He was able to breathe easy upon landing on the side cliffs of the wreckage, but going farther and farther in was suffocating.

Not completely suffocating.

Kylo breathed in and out. This wasn't Exegol. Exegol was pure tainted evil. This was… A mix of that plus something more. The dark he was familiar with inside himself. And it was singing.

Rey's signature, despite their bond, was muddled. He remembered how it called to him with a soothing song in the _Supremacy_. On Starkiller. On Takodana.

Now her soul was crying, pleading for him. Was this what his own inner conflict was like to Rey? It was pure agony to experience. Shaking his own soul and making him plead for relief from the cries. How he wanted to quiet the crying within her and restore the light within her so comforting Force signature. Even with her falling into the dark, the completion in his soul whenever he was near her breathed relief upon Kylo.

Climbing onto the ledge in the throne room of the Death Star, Kylo steeled himself against the vague whispers resembling her voice.

_"You'll turn. I'll help you."_

The breeze tugged at his cape while her voice tugged at his soul.

No, this voice wasn't Rey, he had to remind himself. This wasn't the Rey he knew, with a light so bright that it made his darkness greater.

She stumbled out of a chamber, and a small triangular device slipped out of her hands.

He grabbed it before she could recover from her near-fall.

Kylo recognized the device from his training under Luke. In the books it was known as a wayfinder, a device to guide both young Jedi and Sith to various locations of safety. This wayfinder was a Sith one, to match the holocrons they used.

No way was he going to let this leave his hand.

She was glaring at him, not even hiding the raging look in her eyes. She drew her lightsaber, ready to strike.

It was awful. She was so desperate looking, so consumed and changed by the dark side. The black of her clothes drowned out any semblance of her kindness. A glimmer of light was all that remained, and he was struggling to find it. His dark nature was singing louder and louder.

He was Kylo Ren.

"Look at yourself," he said, trying to use another way to get her to come to her senses before he lost his own. "You're trying to use the dark side to prove something and yet cannot see the truth in front of you any longer."

"I'm trying to save the man named Ben Solo," she snapped. "I know the truth now."

"No, you don't."

Her knuckles on her blade became white. "People keep telling me they know me, but they don't. No one does."

Standing firm, he gave his reply, borne out of his feelings for her. "But I do." He took a step closer to her. "It's not too late for you, Rey. You can turn—no, you _will_ turn."

"Why don't I believe you?"

Anger rose within him. His patience was thinning somehow. "Because the voices are lying to you. Don't you understand?" His voice wasn't as soft or gentle as it once was. This tone was almost empty, tired.

"No, you're lying to me. It was too late for you." Her words cut like a knife to his heart. She glanced at the wayfinder in his hand. "Give it to me."

His breath hitched in his throat. Fear and anger and all his other negative emotions were taking over, shaking his hands. "It may be too late for me. I will not deny the dark side has poisoned you, but not completely."

"Give. It. To. _Me._ "

She was practically shaking with anger.

The bond between them was vibrating with raw, uncontained emotions. His own darkness rose up; the power he had tempered within was growing again.

Kylo looked at the wayfinder in his hand, then back to her. "The only way you're getting to Exegol…" His fingers tightened around the small device. "Is with me."

He snapped it into pieces.

Rey screamed with a swing of her lightsaber.

Kylo dodged.

She swung again with a twirl.

He side-stepped it with ease.

It was like a one-sided dance, Rey's movements were uncontrollable; Kylo's own moves avoiding her, the one semblance of self-control he had. He would never hurt her, not intentionally or with malice.

She raised one end of her lightsaber to strike at his shoulder. Blue blocked it, Kylo sliding back an inch from the sheer force of her move.

This wasn't how it was supposed to go.

Something was driving Kylo on pure instinct and making his own dark side tremble with anger. Anger at what, he wasn't sure. Rey's own anger clashed with his, with teeth and a newfound intent that was beyond her drive on Starkiller.

Pushed onto the defensive still, Kylo stepped back and jumped backward off the ledge. She chased after him, blades clashing, shaking with the dark side of the force.

_Let your anger, your rage, fuel your dark side!_

"Rey," he gritted out in the lock hold. "Stop."

"No," she spat in return. "Never."

Kylo breathed in and out, bent on ignoring the whispers growing louder and louder. The anger at her refusal to listen to him, the woman who was in Rey's body, wearing her face, oh how he wanted to kill that monster within her, even for the slightest moment. It scared him. It scared Ben.

He needed some anchor to hold onto, the same way he held onto Rey's light in Exegol. He had to free himself of whatever was influencing his emotions, because Rey was inside that monster, and he owed her everything. The world. The galaxy.

This place was affecting them both with each swing of their lightsabers. Every time Rey tried to land a hit, Kylo would deflect it. Every single clash was like they were meeting in a dark embrace. The raw power surged through their bodies, an untamable wildfire. The exhilaration, the pleasure, the both of them wondered if they truly wanted this fight to stop from the power alone.

They were outside the Death Star now. Giant waves crashed around them, splashes hitting their cloaks and wetting their hair. The platform was soaked with water, making their boots slick and easy to lose balance if not careful.

Kylo had to snap out of it. He had to. He struggled to focus on blocking and parrying each of Rey's strikes, taking long strides backwards to find some relief before Rey would attack again.

Thinking about Rey wasn't helping anymore.

He turned the tides, side-stepping behind her and pushing back. Remove her lightsaber from her hand and maybe he could think. Remove her lightsaber. _Remove her lightsaber._

Kylo didn't realize he was attacking back with a fierceness he only had when his temper let loose. Rey's eyes widened as she stepped back, now on the defense.

With a swipe he tried to stab at her hand gripping her saber staff. She parried his saber downward, the blue connecting to the metal ground in a fit of sparks. The wind bellowed at her cloak, revealing his own lightsaber on her belt.

His hand reached out and collected it in his grip, pulling up on his family's lightsaber with effort.

_Crack._

The two dark siders jerked to the side as a giant tidal wave rose. A section of the Death Star fell off from the sheer force of the wave.

Rey did two rapid jabs with her saber staff, knocking the blue legacy saber into the water and running down the platform and onto a makeshift ramp. She leaped across a large gap of water with a tug of the force supporting the distance towards another platform.

Kylo chased after her. Get the lightsaber out of her hand. _Get it out of her hand._

_Let your fear drive you._

Landing on his two feet, the heavy spray of the wave hit him as he stalked towards her. Their clothes were sopping wet, both their capes heavy and dragging in the cutting wind. Igniting his red lightsaber, he held it in a reverse grip. No way was he letting her get on the offense again.

 _Clash!_ Red sparks flew as his lightsaber met hers. The dark side was fueling every action; his muscles sang with power. She was thrown off, but she could use the dark side too.

And indeed, she did.

Spinning around he went for a broad-side slash, only to have her halt his hand in mid-air.

Her saber-staff lunged for his side. He flinched back just out of reach.

Rey swung her entire weight around to take another slash at Kylo's flank. He halted her blade in mid-air with his hand, plucking that same trick out of her mind through the bond on sheer raw instinct. With a glare she shook free of the hold, raising the other end of her staff up. His own saber still reverse-gripped, he pushed back.

They both stood there, red upon red, glaring at each other, out of breath, the Force overwhelming the two of them. Their bond rang with darkness.

In any other point of his life, Kylo Ren would have relished in this. A part of him still was. Rey, fully using the dark side as he did with a shuddering pleasure that he felt vibrating in their bond. But the dark side controlling Rey preyed upon his fears, his misery, a part of his past he didn't want her to go into. Never should be repeated.

"You…" He gasped for breath, watching as her hands reaffirmed her grip on her staff. Time to change strategy. "And I are equals. A dyad in the Force."

She said nothing, breaking the hold and stabbing her saber at him again. He deflected it. Her balance remained firm.

Kylo pushed the subject. "You feel it too."

"All I feel is my hope dying," Rey answered, voice low and tired. She lunged. Again, their lightsabers locked into a hold. Kylo slid his blade down closer to her hand holding one end of the staff, aware of how close they were in this embrace. The crossguard for one moment poured heat on the metal.

She winced back, shaking her hand out in pain.

Finally.

He put pressure on her, taking full advantage of her lapse. With more force than necessary, Kylo pushed her back, and back. Until Rey was up against a wall, fighting to keep her grip and stance firm. She was sinking down on her feet, knees bent in her struggle to stay standing.

 _Drop the lightsaber,_ he shouted in his mind using the dark side. _Drop it._

Rey doubled down and growled out her words. "You were right, Kylo Ren."

Fear shot up the back of his neck.

"Ben Solo is _dead._ "

The activation of two lightsabers stopped him in his tracks before he could process her words.

Her grip slackened at the sound. He kicked the staff to the side, lowering his own weapon with great struggle to his control.

Kylo breathed in and out, pulling upon his own dimming light to shake off the evil influences in this place. He looked behind himself to see his two least favorite people in the galaxy, lightsabers at the ready.

Kylo Ren wasn't a fool; he knew he was going straight into a losing battle in front of him. "Traitors," he uttered under his breath. "I'm surprised you're still alive, Vicrul."

"Ah yes. Your little stunt on Exegol did barely a scratch. We're here for the Last Jedi. The wayfinder here suddenly disappeared and we tracked its last location easily."

Figures. Kylo destroying the wayfinder leading to Exegol summoned Vicrul and Ushar to interrupt his failed attempts at getting Rey to snap out of her dark side possession.

Rey jumped up and slashed at Kylo, the very tip of her lightsaber grazing his chest and cutting a large rip in his tunic. He flinched back, losing his footing. He fell into the crushing waves.

* * *

Kylo’s chest burned. His breath was short, and the rush of waves shoved his body around, suffocating all around him. He struggled to keep a hold of his breath.

Kylo Ren had failed. He chased after Rey, trying to save her, and instead he solidified in her mind that he was beyond reproach.

She didn't believe in him anymore. She didn't believe in Ben Solo.

A part of him wondered if this was how he was going to die: drowning in darkness, knowing that Rey's sunshine, her kindness, her passion, her belief, all extinguished.

Just thinking about it made him numb to the pain in his chest.

_"Ben."_

That voice in the void… It was calling out to him, laced with a Force signature that was always a comfort to him, even as a child.

_"Hold on."_

His breath escaped his mouth, body limp in the darkness. _Mom… Rey..._

 _You're bonded as two halves of one whole. Two as one. The_ _F_ _orce seeks balance with you two at its crux._

No. He couldn't let that slip of light fade. He would save her, no matter what. If she didn't give up on him for the longest time, then he would never give up on her. She was his other half.

And Ben Solo loved her. Desperately. Deeply, with every fiber of his soul.

He reached out with the Force, his hand grasping for something, anything in the dull light pouring through the darkness. His lungs burned as he focused all his energy into moving forward, commanding the Force to raise him up.

The first gasp of air filled his lungs with relief.

* * *

Rey gazed into the waves, still sensing Kylo's presence in the Force. It wouldn't be long now before it ceased, or he will survive somehow.

He doesn't die that easily.

She turned to Vicrul and Ushar. "What do you want?" she demanded, pointing her saber at the two Knights of Ren. "I will not hesitate."

Vicrul laughed. "No, Rey, was it? We're here because of your potential for greatness. The darkness aided you, but it wasn't enough against our former master. However, he grows weak, you grow stronger."

Rey breathed in and out, the dark side of the Force still swirling around her. Lingering traces of Kylo's own darkness still plagued her. He used the dark side greatly; she could feel its cold embrace shaking her body as they fought.

There was no light left in him. The man she fought for was gone. He destroyed her hope.

"You know where Exegol is," she said. "I suppose it will make me strong enough?"

Ushar's voice, distorted by his helm, was grating and harsh on the ears. "Strong enough to do what?"

Rey could practically hear the smirk in Vicrul's own distorted tone. "Strong enough to win against Kylo Ren. But why, young Jedi?"

Beyond reproach, the man you wished to save is gone.

"I'm no Jedi. I only want vengeance for the death of Ben Solo."

Vicrul removed his helmet, revealing to Rey a face with golden bloodshot eyes. "Good. Let that anger drive you."

* * *

Kylo crawled onto the harsh cold beach, coughing up more water. Muscles aching, throat burning, chest searing, Kylo could barely see in his blurred vision where he was or which direction was what.

One last thing lingered on his mind. His grandfather's lightsaber. Reaching out with his hand, he tugged once more on the dark side, his sorrow at losing Rey all the power he needed to call the lost lightsaber out of the sea and to his grip.

Gasping, exhaustion took over. The dreary dark of night slowly fell with rain to accompany it. Twin bright lights in the distance pierced his blurry vision.

"Chewie can you carry him?" A voice he hadn't heard in years spoke over the rain.

Kylo fell asleep at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title for this took bloody ages to pick out. Hopefully, I can start updating more regularly again haha. 
> 
> Thank you for reading so far! <3


	14. Every Tragedy Divides Before Our Very Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dark and light finally resolve into grey.

_Chapter 14: Every Tragedy Divides Before Our Very Eyes_

Memories.

That was all he dreamed of was memories.

Leia taking him for a walk through the park. Her warm hand in his. Han meeting up with them with Chewie not far behind.

When Ben Solo picked up a pen full of ink and found he could write his name in various ways. The joy, the sense of freedom he had for just one moment when he painted his name in stark black ink against white. Thin lines. Thick lines. Curved. Straight. A swoop of a stroke. The first time he wrote the name he preferred to go by out of a strong desire to shed his legacy. Pure. Clean. Simple.

_Kylo._

No voice in his head. None.

There was no pull between light and dark whenever he performed letters across a page. It was just him, Ben Solo.

The memory of Han taking him on a joyride in the _Millennium Falcon_. Of Chewie who would pick him up with one hand and swing him around. Of Chewie who hugged him and told him stories while Ben avoided the bickering and arguing of his parents.

On one particularly fateful day at the age of ten—which meant so much more to him now—he felt something awaken within, power flowing at his fingertips. He lifted something up with just a wave of his hand with ease, his power over the Force growing exponentially. Leia's ever-growing fear crept upon him through her Force signature. Fear, which drove her away.

The dream he had of a girl with three buns screaming "no" that same night he discovered just how strong his power over the Force was. The shift in tension in the Force overwhelmed him to the point he was crying and the dark side came whispering to him in full bloom.

Snoke's voice was always there for as long as he lived, but the Force awakening something within Ben Solo's soul amplified the voice he heard. The awakening also gave him a sense of longing for something he didn't quite understand until nearly twenty years later.

The empty feeling when Leia told him he was being sent to live with Uncle Luke—the legendary Jedi Skywalker.

The memory of discovering he was Darth Vader's grandchild. Heir. Legacy child. A lightsaber that belonged to Anakin Skywalker himself.

How he got his name, Ben. Named after Leia's one hope left during a war.

Everything was all about legacies.

The flowing memories of bitterness, loneliness. Neglect. He recognized it so well in Rey. He felt it too. He felt it in their bond that fateful day when he interrogated her. He didn't want to interrogate her, not at all, not with the loneliness and the bond-forming, making him stall completely. Her force signature was so strong…

Every memory dug up something he buried for years and years in his conquest to become the most feared in the galaxy. To be the monster he was expected to be. A dark sider who killed without mercy, who ruled with an iron fist, ceasing useless governments from ruling and controlling his own _empire._

Then something changed, shifted, transformed in his dreams.

It was of Leia holding him in her arms, warm. Comforting. Telling him that Rey wasn't gone, that she still can be turned. Her apology. Her forgiveness. Her love.

Somehow that brought up a memory he never had.

Of Han Solo, holding a small infant in his arms with wisps of dark hair. Relief of the child falling asleep at last for more than a few hours evident on Han's face.

"Don't worry kiddo," he whispered. "It's going to be fine."

" _Ben, it's time to wake up,"_ Leia's soothing voice spoke to Kylo. " _Please wake up."_

His eyes opened. The harsh light of the medbay made it hard to adjust his blurry vision. Kylo was wearing a bacta patch over his chest—the lingering sensation of his lightsaber burn mixed with saltwater creeping up on him as he gained awareness.

"Ben," Leia's soothing voice spoke next to him. "You're alright."

He sat up, running his hands over his face and taking a deep breath. "Where am I?"

"On the _Finalizer_. I sensed you in the Force… You were dying Ben. I sent Lando and Chewie to get you."

"Uncle Lando is here?" he asked, voice hoarse from the saltwater and lack of use.

"Yes—he found us when we sent out aid calls to our allies in other systems." Leia reached forward and placed her warm hand on his. "Ben, why did you go alone to a planet to get Rey? Especially a place such as the ruins of the Death Star?"

He didn't expect to get scolded like a child. "I had no time. No choice."

"There's always a choice, Ben."

Of course, he knew that. But his heart was desperate to see Rey. Desperate to save her from what she had become. Foolishly, he was overcome by the dark side again and only made things worse. That was what he was good at after all, especially when it came to Rey.

_You're nothing. But not to me._

_The only way you're getting to Exegol is with me._

"What happened?" Leia asked. "Don't bother hiding your feelings from me, Ben Solo."

He looked his mother in the eyes, speaking his words with a tight throat. "Rey is convinced that she needs to get to a Sith-planet called Exegol. I was there once, mere days ago in fact."

Leia nodded. "Luke once mentioned it to me but since it was speculation and rumors…"

"She's with my rogue Knights of Ren, heading there now," he choked out. "She's completely brainwashed."

Leia said nothing, for everything she needed to say was already spoken. She sat up from her spot on the bed and hugged her son, pressing a kiss to his hair. "I'm sorry Ben."

Kylo clung to his mother a second time, trying to process everything that happened in the last day. "I'm losing her."

The moment was still until the door opened.

"General Leia." It was Rose Tico.

Leia stepped back from her son. "Yes, Rose?"

"We received word from our allies about reinforcements. They wish to speak with you."

"Of course. I'll be back, Ben."

Rose glanced at Kylo with relief before being followed out by Leia, leaving him alone to his thoughts.

Running his hands through his hair, he breathed in and out, chest heaving with pain.

He attacked Rey. He was fully in his element on the Death Star, as Kylo Ren, Master of the Knights of Ren, and heir to Darth Vader's legacy. He wondered if he hadn't come to his senses, would he have killed Rey by accident? It hurt to think about the mere possibility.

Hadn't Darth Vader only become Darth Vader because of suppression of love? Yoda himself said that was the Jedi's greatest mistake. He remembered Luke saying it during his padawan training too.

Love. That was what it all came down to.

A semblance of hopelessness came down on his shoulders. Vader failed to save Padme, even with the dark side of the Force, even with love. If Kylo couldn't shake away the darkness before, how could he save Rey now?

He glanced at the table next to his bed. Pushing his aching body to sit up, he reached for the two lightsabers resting side by side.

He knew what he had to do.

* * *

When the discussion of reinforcements ended, General Leia sat back in her chair. Everyone save for Finn was there, witness to the discussion.

"Where is Captain Finn?" Leia asked.

"With Jannah discussing strategy with the stormtroopers," Rose answered.

Leia should return to her son, but she knew he needed time to think about what just happened on Kef Bir. His darkness was at war with his light again, and Leia knew that she had to treat the situation with gentle caution. Her fears returned, of him slipping away again after everything. The attempts to mend their broken relationship, Han's sacrifice, Rey's light guiding him home… Leia couldn't bear to have it all rendered meaningless. Once he was up to talking again, she would reassure herself that Kylo Ren's darkness wouldn't consume her son again.

"We need to plan," Poe said. "We have limited time after our reinforcements get here and it would be good to have something in place once they get here."

"Good to note, Commander," Leia said. "However, we will have to wait until Ben recovers from his injury."

"Of course…" Poe said, a hint of irritation at Kylo's sudden display of impulsive nature regarding Rey nearly getting himself killed. They needed a plan sooner rather than later.

"I know my son seems like his priorities are split, but I assure you, his loyalties lie to the cause he said he wanted to help. He is a complicated man but he is here at our disposal for a reason."

"Yes General Leia."

* * *

In Kylo Ren's old personal private quarters, his shrine to his grandfather remained intact. This hasn't been touched in so long, in so many months. He avoided it during his shame of defeat and loss after Crait.

Kylo held two lightsabers in his hands. One that he forged and one Anakin Skywalker forged. Both were heavy, both were burdens that tore him apart for so long.

Time to let old things die.

Time to _kill_ the past.

It was the only way he had to save Rey. To destroy the darkness within.

Lifting his own lightsaber up into the air using the Force, he concentrated on keeping it there.

With resolve fully set in his mind, he stepped back and activated the blue legacy saber, raising it up at his own lightsaber, ready to finally kill Kylo Ren.

"Will that accomplish what you want?" a voice, old, wise, unfamiliar spoke to his side.

Turning around, Kylo lowered his blade and wanted to roll his eyes in annoyance. "Who are you?"

An old man with a white beard and wearing ancient Jedi robes stood, enveloped in a blue glow. Of course, the Force just had to send another Jedi ghost to spout words of wisdom at him.

"I am Obi-Wan Kenobi, or for the longest time, Ben Kenobi."

Oh, now this was just taunting him at this point. "And why," Kylo spat. "Are you here to stop me?"

"Well, I am just merely curious."

"Of?"

"Why are you desperate to kill who you are?"

Was he seriously trying to convince him to _not_ kill the darkness within? Are all the old Jedi masters just suddenly turning on their own teachings now? "The past needs to die in order for her to live. She doesn't deserve this—"

"And neither do you. A man who held himself back, finally unleashing every bit of dark within, did that diminish the light too? Or was the light merely sealed away? And what does the nature of one's light and darkness say about a man?"

It was as Luke implied. The light and dark within him were no longer pulling at each other.

But that darkness he kept within, it was tugged at in Exegol, only prevented his fall to it because of his memories of Rey. Rey herself now was corrupted, her light no longer an anchor to cling to. The Sith were using his own memories and thoughts of her against him as some sick joke of a weapon.

And it was amplified on the Death Star, pushing him, making him forget who he was, a mere terrified boy who feared his own powers. Fearing his own capabilities and what they could do.

He dropped both lightsabers to the floor, leaning his back against the wall.

"It is a burden, a name," Obi-Wan continued, taking a leisurely stroll around the room, glancing several times at the ruined remains of Darth Vader's helmet. "It carries many connotations. It represents us as who we are. An identity that cannot be easily washed away. But so is the burden of family, of trying to decide what your name represents, of forging your own path beyond a legacy, whether that is a lightsaber, the force, becoming a Sith, a Jedi."

Kylo crossed his arms, trying to avoid the watchful and calm gaze of Obi-Wan. "Why do you think I am trying to rid myself of this fool-hardy legacy chaser?" His sarcasm was biting.

"To kill your past is to kill half the man in the present. Tell me, where did the name Kylo come from?"

He swallowed. "I was a mere child…"

"You were Ben Solo as a child, weren't you?"

"Yes…"

Obi-Wan nodded, contentment on his face. "I've made many mistakes in my life. My greatest was assuming that Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader killed each other."

Kylo felt the room spin. He slumped down to the floor, unsure how to take that.

"Ahh, I sense your confusion."

Kylo glared at the ghost of Obi-Wan. "Just what are you trying to say?"

"Is it not obvious? Everyone, even Rey, even you, has darkness. The question of life is how to learn to live with it."

Obi-Wan Kenobi disappeared, leaving a man alone in the room with not but two lightsabers and the remains of a dark symbol. He leaned his head against the wall, breathing in and out deeply, head still spinning.

For years he wanted to kill his light, and now he was attempting to kill his dark.

When would the cycle of killing stop? When would the cycle of Skywalkers falling, killing over and over, ever halt?

To kill the past was to kill himself, to kill who he was. Perhaps he could no longer be bound by the chains of legacy, but the past still happened, and maybe… He could learn from it, instill a new legacy.

One made of a duality. Light. Dark. Meeting into grey.

A dyad in the force.

He stood up, collecting both his lightsabers. Glancing at the old, burned mask that belonged to Darth Vader, he ignited both sabers and with an arcing swipe, the shrine was in pieces. Breathing heavily, a weight was lifted off his shoulders.

For the first time in his life, Ben Solo was truly, finally, _free_.

* * *

"You have got to be kidding me!" Poe exclaimed as he walked down the hallway with Mitaka and Finn towards the bridge.

It was absurd. First, Kylo Ren ordered the ship to be put on lockdown, then put Poe in charge and fled, coming back unconscious with a lightsaber burn to the chest. Now Poe was getting the most unfortunate news: the entire ship preferred to follow Kylo's command, not the Resistance itself.

Even the stormtroopers were talking about how they agreed with Kylo Ren's leadership. They looked to Finn no doubt, but as someone large and in charge, Kylo was the clear winner.

Finn nodded. "Makes you wonder doesn't it?"

Poe was incredulous. Kylo Ren as Supreme Leader of the First Order was the less painful choice, but still, he was witness to his intimidation, his rage on Crait, he once wanted to obliterate the entire Resistance. Poe wasn't going to forget that.

But did this mess have to be so _damn_ complicated? Kylo Ren showed up willingly to the Resistance, gave them all his intelligence of the First Order, and even indirectly sowed the seeds of doubt the common stormtrooper had in the regime. And now they had a star-destroyer and a willing army.

Can said army change their priorities though? His begrudging respect for Kylo was one thing, but the army respected Kylo to a much deeper level.

The Resistance was trapped in a position where Kylo Ren of all people was needed to take major leadership.

"Solo is in the medbay recovering from… Quite honestly I don't know what he was up to on the ruins of the Death Star," Poe explained to the two of them. "If they want him as a leader then he better not be dying in the next few hours."

"He went to get Rey," Finn explained. "Rey is literally the only reason why he came to the Resistance in the first place."

"Is Kylo in love with her or something?" Poe declared in his frustration. "To the point he was willing to give over chain of command to go chase after her?"

That gave Finn pause in his footsteps. The former stormtrooper had to register that statement.

It made horrible sense to Finn with how Ap'lek's biting snark about Rey and Kylo mocked them being a couple, but Finn never gave it that much thought. Ap'lek was a Knight of Ren and was willing to cut him and Rose down at a whim. Even Kylo himself was annoyed with how Ap'lek referred to Rey as Kylo's _girlfriend_.

Still, Finn found it hard to actually swallow that Kylo and Rey's relationship wasn't just something bitter and mutual hatred. Kylo's own actions on Pasaana said as much. Rey certainly showed no love towards Kylo, but she wasn't acting in her right mind either. Finn wondered if saving Kylo's life was an act of the Force, or if it was because of his conscience and knowing somehow, Rey would be hurt if Kylo died. To stop Rey before she killed her sworn enemy because he wasn't actually trying to hurt her.

Something had happened since Crait. Something definitely happened to Rey. Why else would she have been quiet and withdrawn in the following months? It was almost as if she had a broken heart trying to be mended. Finn wished he had recognized what it was sooner, but Rey spoke nothing about it to anyone.

Finn's gut sank, thinking about just how someone like Kylo Ren, a man who murdered his own father and countless others, could have some sort of capacity for love towards Rey. By all principles, Kylo should hate Rey for being a Jedi and her attempts to kill him. The evidence was scarred on Kylo's face. It was twisted to think about for Finn. A little disturbing. His skin crawled at this revelation. This was just a joke, surely. Poe was making a jab at most.

Yet, in spite of all this, Kylo knew what was wrong with Rey. He wanted to save her from herself.

"Finn?" Poe waved a hand in front of his face. "You okay? It's just a joke."

Finn snapped out of his thoughts. "Oh, right. Yeah. Why would the Jedi Killer be in love with the Last Jedi? He knows what's wrong with Rey but I highly doubt he ran off after her because she's pretty. If we got her back it would help us in taking over the First Order."

"Right. It would help immensely if she were to come back," Poe declared.

Something potent in the Force approached Finn. His hair stood on the back of his neck. "I need to check on something. I'll be a bit."

Poe and Mitaka continued walking, Poe nodding in understanding. "Right. We'll be on the bridge."

Finn breathed a sigh of relief, still feeling his skin crawling but at least he was now alone in his thoughts.

Or so he thought.

"Rey is pretty," the voice of Kylo Ren—nicknamed Solo by both Finn and Poe to annoy him more than anything—spoke in the empty hallway.

Finn turned around and stared at the tall man in black leaning against the wall. His tunic had a big tear right in the chest, but it did nothing but make him look more imposing with his long cape and the two lightsabers clipped to his belt.

"We need to have a chat," Kylo spoke once again. "About your Force capabilities."

Oh. Right. That.

Finn swallowed. "How did you know?"

Kylo stared at him incredulously. "I'm not sure if I should take that question as a joke or not."

Finn simply felt dumb at that moment. Kylo himself was a Force-user, the strongest in the galaxy, only matched by Rey. "Right, I forgot."

"It took so long for your sensitivity to surface. I've had little time to consider why. My only conclusion is the isolation you've had up in these barracks all your life suppressed your sensitivity. Training, brainwashing…"

Finn didn't need to be a strong Force user to detect the flaring anger radiating off of Kylo. Normally Finn would be on the defensive, but he knew Kylo wasn't going to lash out. He was upset at something Finn hadn't given much thought to except on the rare nights when it was quiet on Ajan Kloss. The constant distraction of Rose, Poe, the Resistance, First Order, even Rey, all that occupied his thoughts enough.

"So what does this even mean?" Finn blurted out. "Now that I'm Force-sensitive? Do I become a Jedi or…"

Kylo raised his knuckles to his mouth in thought. "You're not as strong with the Force as Rey and I, or even Luke Skywalker. But you will need training. Rey will be your teacher of course."

Finn raised his eyebrow. He was ecstatic that Rey could help him, his best friend. However, Finn couldn't help but wonder why Kylo went straight for Rey as a teacher first. "But she's…"

"Not for one more second," Kylo declared with a rigid disposition. "If I have anything to say about it."

Now Finn was feeling a bit bold in his next question. "Do you love her?"

Kylo's expression remained neutral, though Finn couldn't help but notice the slight _flinch_ in his posture. "That is inconsequential to the matters at hand. It will not matter in the long term once everything is said and done."

"A simple yes or no will do," Finn said, trying to contain a smirk forming on his mouth at Kylo's super robotic answer. "I'm going to assume it's a yes."

"Assume what you want, Finn, it doesn't matter." The blush on Kylo's—no—on _Ben's_ face was very evident. "We have plans to form and the First Order to prioritize."

"Whatever you say, Solo," Finn said, walking away. He was laughing in his head, rather loudly.

Loud enough for Kylo to hear.

* * *

Damn that Finn. Damn Poe for even putting the idea into Finn's head in the first place as a _joke_.

To say Ben was thoroughly annoyed was an understatement. He hadn't even had one moment to even consider the consequences of being in love with Rey. And it was true, he loved her. He would never admit it yet though. Rey deserved to hear it first.

What will happen when he brings her back from the dark side?

Ben returned to the medbay, exhausted from walking as much as he did. The medical droids patched up his chest with a new bacta patch to ease the pain and lingering burning. Medical personnel told him he can return to his quarters; his quarters from when he was Supreme Leader on this ship.

The aching and burning in his chest dulled with each step he made towards his room. Opening it, he noticed right away it wasn't touched at all. Some of his reports were scattered on a desk, but otherwise, nothing was touched from what he could sense. No one had entered this room except for his Knights searching for any remaining intelligence. Ben knew he was lucky that no one suspected Mitaka.

Removing his boots and shirt, Ben flopped down on his black bed, face hot thinking about Rey. Her corrupted image would not go away. Her wearing darkened robes and using a red lightsaber was a haunting, living nightmare.

What would he do, when this was all over? He would tell her how he felt, with no hesitation. No conditions. He would offer her _everything._

But would she want to reciprocate? Even at all? Would she even feel the same way? She was his other half, but that didn't mean much in terms of how she truly felt. After everything he had done, she still rejected him. And oddly, he was content to watch her go if she didn't feel the same.

For a moment, he entertained the thoughts of a life without Rey at his side. Ben would leave and allow her to be free for her own choices. She deserved the galaxy, he would give it to her in any way he could, and if she wanted something else, _someone_ else, then so be it. Her happiness was above his own, in every way. He would go off and restore true peace and order to the galaxy, pay for his crimes in any way he could, and move on. It hurt to think about, but love was pain. It was relentless. It was overwhelming. It tore at one's soul.

Love was worth fighting for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We interrupt the KH references in the chapter titles to instead reference Somnus by Yoko Shimomura XD.
> 
> Ben please take a hint you're killing me here.


	15. We Are One And The Same

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A message somehow makes things a little bit better.

_Chapter 15: We Are One And The Same_

Rey sat upon her perch in Exegol, allowing the whispers in her mind to flow as easily as breathing.

_Revenge._

_Your enemies will be destroyed._

_You will have your vengeance._

The first step in bringing order to the galaxy would be to eliminate the First Order, which would require all the Knights of Ren and the removal of the leader of the First Order.

Another matter plagued her mind. The loss of Ben Solo.

It was a painful truth she had to accept. There was no saving him. It tore her soul apart to think about, but he had tried to kill her on Kef Bir. What remained of the boy under the mask was gone. This inherent connection she once tried to sever was pulling at her light and making her spirit scream in agony.

When would the pain stop? Would it ever stop?

She took the holocron out of her bag and with hardly any effort, pulled upon the dark side crackling in the air. The holocron opened up before her and the projection of Darth Sidious appeared.

"Young Sith, you seek guidance," Sidious spoke to her.

"I'm being torn apart." The words were mindless off her lips, a reality she was far too accepting of. "How do I end this pain?"

"Kill the remaining tethers to the light and you shall solidify your place in the dark side."

Her tethers… There was plenty she had. Her companions in the Resistance. The small comfort Leia Organa, Rose Tico, and Finn offered in her time of disappointment and depression.

Her thoughts, however, went straight to the most immediate tether, the remains of Kylo Ren's soul.

The souls of the Sith whispered in her ear.

_Kill Kylo Ren._

_Kill Kylo Ren._

_Kill him._

"Kill what tears your soul apart and you shall achieve power and wisdom and freedom with abilities that suppress any Jedi!" Sidious declared.

Rey nodded, closing the holocron and cradling it with her hands.

Vicrul Ren approached; a smug, sinister smirk on his lips. "So the Last Jedi rejects the light."

Rey looked up into the man's golden eyes. He had to be the same age as Kylo, give or take a year or two.

"I am not the Last Jedi. The Jedi are dead," she stated, her tone short.

"The Jedi ways still cling to you like flies on a corpse. The only way to shed the remains is to submit yourself and resurrect the Sith… With the death of Kylo Ren."

Vicrul gestured to a throne in the distance. "And you, the death bringer of the Jedi, will begin the Sith anew."

Now she understood why Kylo Ren offered his hand.

The power a throne tempted was beyond what she thought it could be.

* * *

Ben awoke to the morning with a knock on his door. The dream—or nightmare—lingered in his mind. He pulled his half-torn shirt on and his boots and opened the door. His mother greeted him.

"Ben, good morning," Leia said. "I'm surprised to see you up and about."

Truth was, he was downright exhausted, but he had work to do. His injury was healing quickly and wasn't too deep of a cut, to begin with.

"I'm fine Mom,“ he said.

"Sure you are, which is why I wanted to talk," Leia said. He gestured her into his spacious quarters. She took a seat at a table, Ben sitting across from her. "I don't sense anymore conflict within you."

Ah, his mother was ever perceptive. "I haven't been conflicted in a while," Ben stated, leaning forward with his hands folded and elbows supported on the table.

"Hm, this is different. This time it feels like…" Leia held back her amusement. "Like you're more accepting of this fact.“

"I suppose I am," Ben said, not sure what exactly his mother was getting at but he let it slide. Yesterday was an ordeal on his mental state and the nightmare he had didn't help. "We're not here to talk about me. We need a plan."

"In two ways, yes. The remaining leaders and troops on this ship are willing to follow your command if you'll accept."

Now that was surprising but not surprising at the same time. His leadership as Supreme Leader was as he saw fit, not what Hux or Snoke wanted. He never ever wanted another Starkiller. What was shocking was the positive reception. The mere fact Mitaka, even after Hux chased Ben out of the order, continued his work when he expected nothing was astonishing. Ben's own actions over the course of the last few months were inspiring the stormtroopers to rebel. They had taken this ship so easily because of this.

"I will aid in the assault against Hux and whatever remains of the traitors called the Knights of Ren," he declared with not a single ounce of zealous anger. His voice was low, contemplative in tone. "I am not sure what will happen once the First Order is over."

What came next was not something Ben had much room to think about. Living to see past the next few days was the larger concern. Living to see the Resistance prevail and Hux's head on a spike was the priority.

And then there was living to see Rey's smile, just once.

But after all that, he wasn't sure. A still silence befell mother and son, Leia watching Ben contemplate his own statement.

Leia broke the silence. "We will need a new government."

"A government of _what_ exactly? The failings of the New Republic resurrected the First Order. Sympathizers of the Empire rose up and created," Ben gestured to everything around them with a half-wave of his hand. "All this."

"I agree, we cannot have something like the New Republic again," Leia said, surprising Ben once again. "But the Empire had its own failings as well. The same failings that destroyed Alderaan and the Hosnian System. The same failings that created the Rebellion and the Resistance."

Ben brushed back his hair, letting out a sigh. "I remember how infuriating it was just listening to the meetings you were in. They were all… Incompetent and irritating with protocol and bureaucracy." His posture stiffened, a hint of anger flaring in his dark eyes. "And you… You hid the truth from everyone, including _me_ , about your legacy and they all turned against you like traitorous rats."

Leia blinked, unfazed by the righteous hurt Ben carried with that revelation. "I regret every day that I didn't tell you sooner. Maybe I could have prevented…"

"I know, Mom. It wouldn't really make a difference in the first place, not with Snoke in my head." Ben leaned on his hand, his anger washing away as quick as it came. "We will need to form something. I will not deny the benefits of a representative chosen by the people but…"

Somehow his mother was so understanding. "A benevolent ruler has his benefits."

"How outlandish of a statement, Mom," Ben said, a quip of humor in his voice. "We all know an empire isn't sustainable forever."

Leia shook her head, reaching for Ben's hand. "But you are a good leader, Ben. Unless the reports I've heard and the stormtroopers are lying?"

He wasn't even sure if he was a good leader himself. To have this all stated as facts unnerved him. "They might have some poor judgment…"

Leia rolled her eyes, a slight sigh of annoyance—the same annoyance she only had with Han—escaping her mouth. "Ben Organa-Solo, you _killed_ Snoke out of love for Rey. Your first act after Crait was to hide where you found us. To send your own troops to impoverished systems to root out gang activity. Niima outpost is currently under occupation while trying to implement a new system to care for the scavengers in the desert. The stormtrooper recruitment program and the clone army research were halted. You went to us because you wanted to help."

"I only originally wanted to help because of Rey," Ben replied, not bothering to hide the truth to his intentions. "I'm selfish. I needed the Resistance's aid to help me get to her."

"And is that such a crime? To be motivated by love? You really are your father's son," Leia said with much exasperation. "Yet you could have lied to us and leave us all to die to Hux's machinations."

She had a point.

"I don't want more people to die."

Leia looked at him with a glint in her eye, a sense of smugness in her posture. "Ben, you are gifted with a great capacity for love. That is your greatest weapon in this war."

With that, Leia stood up and brushed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "We can talk more about what comes afterward. We can and we _will_ win this war."

He nodded. "Yes. We will."

She left him alone to his thoughts again.

Ben relaxed back in his chair, the side of his knuckles brushing against his lips.

Love was a weapon.

He got up and began his work, pulling on a fresh set of simple clothes and put on his usual Supreme Leader attire. Clipping the cape on, he glanced at the legacy lightsaber he was to carry around.

Ben's first stop on his way to the bridge was to request a custom back sheath from the armory.

* * *

Armitage Hux strode through the halls of the Executioner, two Knights of Ren walking behind him. Kuruk Ren watched as Trudgen Ren struggled with his newly implemented robotic limb.

"The weapon shall be done within four days," Hux said with his usual air of strict authority. "We are making our way to the Resistance Base as we speak. What of Kylo Ren?"

Kuruk spoke. "Nothing on him sir. He has completely vanished."

Trudgen added. "The Last Jedi was on the _Finalizer_."

Hux flattened his lips into a thin line. "Perhaps she would know where Ren is?"

"She didn't seem to have any idea," Kuruk said. "Regardless, Ap'lek Ren is also missing."

"Hmph, she was mouthy anyways. No matter. Hail the _Finalizer_ and ask if they still have the Jedi girl onboard."

Kuruk and Trudgen looked at each other and made a turn down a hall, leaving Hux to his thoughts.

He marched to the window overlooking the massive circular cannon being constructed. To keep this a secret so long from the invasive capabilities of Kylo Ren was an achievement in and of itself. The under-handed maneuvers of the Knights of Ren certainly counted, but it was Hux carrying out the orders that enabled success. He inspected the cannon with a certain awe and pride. The Resistance shall be finished. Hux will fashion a new mega-class dreadnought and rule the galaxy as his father believed it should have been ruled. The Empire was on the right track, but a new order, the First Order, would see the work to completion.

However, there was one minor obstacle standing in his way. Kylo Ren was one issue, but the whispers of distrust and faith in the leadership flew around the dreadnought like a virus. To squish such distrust wouldn't be an overnight ordeal. Hux had to plan this with care by instilling a fear into the soldiers using the might and awe of his own accomplishments. He knew from day one that he was not as imposing or able to strike fear into people's minds like Ren did, even without the mask.

Hux smirked to himself. He was more cunning than Kylo Ren would ever be. He managed to hide this grand master plan underneath his nose.

Ah, the sweet scent of impending victory.

* * *

Arriving on the bridge, Ben was immediately greeted by the sight of Rose and Kaydel looking over a screen in between several other communications officers. He was mildly surprised at the other sight of a man in a blue cape and stood with a swagger he only saw in his own father.

Lando Calrissian turned around and Ben saw with clarity his uncle for the first time in years.

"Ah Ben!" Lando walked over and hugged him without hesitation. Pulling back, he inspected Ben. "Good to see you are okay. Last time I saw you, you were half-drowned."

Ben swallowed. Another person from his past he was unsure how to react to, considering this was Han Solo's other best friend. "Hi, Uncle Lando. You heard the Resistance calls?"

"Of course. Leia may have mentioned you were a part of the group now and I had to come to see my favorite nephew."

Ben rolled his eyes. "I'm your _only_ nephew."

Lando patted his shoulder. "Exactly. No competition."

"Solo!" Rose called from the other side of the bridge. "You might want to look at this."

Ben made long strides over to Rose and Kaydel. "What is it?"

Kaydel pulled up a message on the system. "A message from Armitage Hux asking about the Last Jedi and demanding she be brought aboard the _Executioner_."

Ben leaned down, trying to stifle his irritation at Hux's demand for Rey. If Rey was on this ship he would be damned to ever hand her over to a slimy traitorous leech like Hux. He read the message in perfect galactic basic, clear as day. "She's not here. Where was this message sent from?"

"The remains of the Hosnian System sir," Kaydel answered. "How do we respond?"

Ben wanted to call the shots with the plan already forming in his mind, but he needed to be sure of what exactly he was doing first with the rest of the leadership. "Hold off on responding for now."

Lando nodded. "Your mother is calling a meeting in ten minutes."

"Sir," another communications officer spoke. "A ship is approaching not belonging to the Resistance. The person on board is claiming to be Maz Kanata."

Just the person Ben needed to speak to after the meeting. "Allow the ship to dock."

Rose stepped away to let Kaydel continue her work. "Well then, we got a meeting to get to."

Indeed. Ben, Lando, and Rose all left the bridge and to a large gathering room down the hallway. A black table with holographic maps and displays were surrounded by familiar faces from both the Resistance and the First Order.

Ben breathed in and out as he took his place at the head of the table, reserved by Leia's side. Mitaka stood at attention behind him with a datapad to take notes. The Resistance leadership along with squad captains and the head general of the _Finalizer_ —a woman with curled hair he recognized as Exa—stood at attention. He looked to his mother for a moment then looked at the holo display of the dreadnought _Executioner_.

"Let us begin," Leia spoke. "The reinforcements from other systems are two days away. We will need to coordinate with their leadership on what we decide here."

"We received a message from Hux," Ben stated. "Demanding we hand over the Last Jedi. I propose we agree to it, proceed as normal. He does not suspect we have taken over this ship and if we are to invade that dreadnought and get his weapon offline we cannot compromise ourselves."

"What would we even say though?" General Exa asked. "Hux will be expecting a shuttle with a prisoner we do not have."

"The Knights of Ren and Hux understand how powerful Rey is. To put her on a shuttle over a long distance where easily she can take it over would be foolish of a move. No, we tell Hux that we are doing the transfer in person near the entire fleet."

"And that," Poe spoke up. "Is when we make our stand."

"Precisely." Ben glanced at Finn as he continued to speak. "And we will need the stormtroopers on our side. They are the key to victory. A full out rebellion within will leave Hux with only the Knights of Ren as his standing."

Finn nodded. "I've been coordinating with the troops on this ship. They're willing to follow Solo—I mean Ren into this battle along with the Resistance."

Ben brushed his hair back with his gloved hand. Of course, they were making things complicated. "Lieutenant Mitaka, send the order that Kylo Ren authorizes Captain Finn— _FN-2187_ to lead the stormtroopers as he sees fit."

"It would be wise to make use of Finn's status as a defector," Leia said. "An act of bravery like that will spark into something more if Jannah and her squadron are any indicators."

Poe smiled in enthusiasm. "Yes! If we can broadcast a message to the stormtroopers on that dreadnought, convert them to our cause, it will make it easier for Rose to get to that cannon and shut it down."

Exa spoke up. "What about the Knights of Ren? They are loyal now to Hux. They are the largest threat in our way even with the army."

Ben leaned forward, placing his palms flat on the glossy table. With a dark and sharp-edged tone, Kylo Ren answered the query. "I will personally deal with those traitors."

Finn's eyes darted to Leia for one moment then back to Ben. "All of them?"

Ben could feel the unease of his statement from Leia, but he disregarded it. "Yes, Finn. I know them all. Every weakness, every strength, every little slight they have does not elude me. I can deal with them."

The betrayal he had at his own knights nagged at his mind, making him remember back to when he killed Ren himself. The irony was not lost on Ben.

Ap'lek Ren was only the beginning. He willed her into compliance, which, no doubt she would flee first chance she got as a repercussion. The others… He was sure he would either cut down without another thought or spare them if they willingly came forth on their knees begging for forgiveness. Ben was fair in that regard. But when the time came he wouldn't hesitate.

He didn't hesitate before in the throne room. He was not about to hesitate at the end of it all.

"What can you tell us about the knights in case?" Leia said, clearing her throat to ease the tension brought upon the group by Ben's desire for revenge.

"There are at least three of them on that dreadnought if my instinct is correct. There might be two more, but I highly doubt it. One of the knights has a new prosthetic on his right leg, he will be still adjusting."

Finn spoke up. "What about Hux? What will we do with him?"

"Capture if necessary, I want nothing left to chance if he has any other operations out there," Ben answered. "But if we're forced to…"

Oh, how he really wanted to slice his lightsaber through that leech's head instead, but tactic-wise Ben knew that Hux was more useful alive than dead. It was annoying to him that his revenge wouldn't be complete with Hux's fall as he was the one who convinced his own Knights of Ren to betray him.

"Right, got it, try to capture not kill," Poe said. "We'll need to hack into the systems to get Finn tapped into the intercom. I can lead the fleet to distract them from the outside. They cannot fight on several fronts at once."

Exa chimed in. "Getting into the system will be easier if we are still incognito to Hux."

"I can get Finn to the intercom easily," Ben said. "With some persuasion."

"How will you even get on board without getting caught?" Finn said. "They don't know my face as well as yours."

Rose put a finger on her lips, inspecting Ben's very tall and imposing form. "A legion of stormtroopers to stand behind, yes? You can treat it like an escort."

That would work. It would give Finn defenses at the very least when the Knights of Ren came knocking.

"One issue," Leia said. "Even with a stormtrooper rebellion, not all will convert. There will still be issues in the way of getting to the cannon."

Rose put a finger on her lips. "Hmm, Solo, you said that the placement for the fail-safe was on top of the cannon right?"

Ben nodded. "Yes."

"I have a plan, but I will need you and Finn to execute it. If we mess with the core functions of the ship it will be a lot harder for them to stop a rag-tag team trying to dismantle their cannon, right?"

"Like, power off their air supply?" Exa said. "Or the lights?"

"No," Ben said, a glint of amusement in his eye. It would work to their advantage, to _his_ advantage. "Turn off the gravitational pull."

Exa frowned. Ben felt a surge of pride from Leia.

Poe was slack-jawed. "You're kidding, right? We aren't trained to handle zero-gravity scenarios, Rose, Solo."

Ben twitched his fingers, the datapad in Mitaka's hands floating up into the air. "Then we train. We have time to do so."

"This is insane…" Poe said, closing his eyes. "General Organa?"

Leia seemed content with the suggestion. "Insane, yes. But it can be to our advantage more than our disadvantage if we prepare beforehand as Ben recommends."

Mitaka reached up and grabbed the datapad back in his grip in panic.

Exa exhaled. "I will help with the zero-gravity training. My soldiers are willing and able to follow Captain Finn and Supreme Leader Kylo Ren. But I still have my doubts about this plan if the training falls through."

Ben nodded. "Understood General Exa. It's not exactly an orthodox plan."

Then again neither was the one he plotted while in the elevator of the _Supremacy_ based on a vision he saw from touching Rey's hand across the galaxy.

* * *

With the meeting concluded, Ben made a swift exit and made his way back to his quarters, bumping into Maz Kanata on the way.

"Ah, Ben Solo!" Maz greeted. "I'm afraid I am the barrier of some bad news."

"Yes?" Ben walked with her to the elevator.

"Your Knight of Ren fled Ajan Kloss."

He wasn't surprised. "I'm not surprised. Dealing with her is no longer my highest priority, not after what happened on…"

The memory of Rey's last words to him still shook his heart.

_Ben Solo is dead._

"Leia told me about Kef Bir. You alright?" Maz asked.

"I am fine," Ben said, really wanting to get out of that elevator before this awkward affection continued. "Do you have the Jedi texts? The one with the dyad being mentioned?"

"I do." Maz reached into her bag and placed a worn book into Ben's hands. "You think that something in there will help Rey?"

"It's all I have left to go off of."

Maz closed her eyes, breathing in and out, just like the meditation techniques Ben learned under the teachings of Luke Skywalker.

He stepped out of the elevator. "Thank you, Maz."

Maz nodded, a faint smile on her lips. "May the Force be with you."

How long had it been since he heard that phrase? His uncle never said it, but his mother did, right before he was sent off to train under Luke. Almost twenty years.

Ben walked back to his quarters, both dreading and curious at what this text was going to say about his and Rey's bond. Their precious dyad that linked them and their destinies together in the force. Sitting down at his desk, Ben breathed in and out before opening the pages. As he read the words before him, a raw form of older galactic basic that he recognized from the few precious tomes Luke Skywalker kept in the Jedi temple—now lost to fire and darkness—the fluttering feeling in his heart grew more and more.

_“_ _Dyad._ _Two that are one. An attempt of the_ _F_ _orce seeking pure balance. Light and dark meeting in the middle in harmony._

_“_ _This anomaly in two Force-sensitives_ _, usually one aligned with the darker side, and one aligned with the lighter side, must attempt to reconcile to restore true balance. It is so rare it was only observed once before in living Jedi history._

_“_ _The strongest Force_ _users, pure equals in light and dark, both meeting in the center is unprecedented._ _“_

He read more and more about the effects noted. Being able to see each other across the galaxy, the ability to be in tune with each other's thoughts and feelings and emotions on a deeper level. How even just a brief touch can trigger something so potent and powerful in the Force the sensations can overwhelm both users.

But one passage stood above the rest.

_“_ _Because two are one, their lives are intertwined so tightly that their own_ _abilities_ _can_ _be used_ _to heal_ _one another of_ _even the most grievous of wounds. To what extent this ability has is unclear. Other_ _Force-sensitives_ _are able to practice this ability_ _on others,_ _but not at the strength of a dyad._ _”_

Ben's eyes flickered over the passage one more time. There was something oddly comforting and disconcerting about the healing aspect. He could heal Rey freely, but at the same time, he knew that she could and _would_ be hurt in the first place. He didn't want her to ever be touched again. The horror of Snoke's torture and her screams haunted him in his dream when he slept earlier this morning. Ben wished he could have done something, anything in that moment to make it stop. So much pain in her wails. The bond allowed him to feel what she felt, and that made it even worse to endure than when Snoke personally tortured him.

Eyes drifting over the aged paper, a symbol startled Ben, causing him to nearly flinch back in his seat; recalling a past memory.

_His eyes darted towards Rey. A guard stabbed the blade at her arm, missing its mark but not entirely. She let out a yelp of pain, the weapon slicing the skin of her arm. The cut was deep enough to draw blood but not enough to make Rey back down._

_R_ _aw rage at her being remotely hurt brought Kylo back into focus, the three guards surrounding him about to feel his unrelenting wrath._

The symbol printed in somewhat faded ink on the page matched the one on Rey's arm. She had covered it up with a strip of leather in the following months as if she was ashamed of it.

_“_ _The mark of a dyad working in harmony may appear on one or both halves._ _”_

Ben sat back. It was nice to have some concrete evidence of this connection. He remembered how the Force was singing around them when they battled the Praetorian Guards together. It surged between them in a beautiful song. It felt _right_ for one moment. _Ben_ felt right until the battle was over and he opened his mouth.

Who knew, that Ben Solo, Prince of Alderaan, Kylo Ren, Master of the Knights of Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order, would be destined to be the other half of Rey, desert scavenger with no parents, no title, no anything. The only title she was given was the Last Jedi. The title felt wrong for her as if she was meant for something more than just the Jedi ways. In all of his learning, Ben took one look at Rey's mind once and knew she was far from being fit to be a Jedi.

Thus Kylo Ren made his proposal to her to reject the old ways the way he did.

Hope grew in his chest. A pleasant warmth spread across his skin despite the lingering sting of his burn remaining. Even though he struggled still with reconciling the loving image he had of compassionate, fiery Rey with the current dark sider whose faith was shattered, the mere fact that their connection was something intended to bring them together made him elated.

A dyad. A _dyad_. Two that are one.

The pages of the book describing this intimate connection were vague and few. It only contained what he had already gathered from their force-bond sessions. Once this all ended, he intended to add more.

A knock at his door snapped Ben out of his thoughts. He slammed the book closed and shoved it aside and out of sight. He strode over to the door and opened it to see R2-D2 in front of him; Luke's old droid which accompanied Leia and C-3PO all the time frequently.

"R2?" Ben spoke, puzzled as to why the droid was there, at his door of all places. "Why are you here?"

R2 beeped back.

"A message? From who?" Ben asked. He stepped back into his room and sat down on his bed. The door closed behind R2-D2. The droid began to play a holo. It was a cleaner image, no doubt a result of an upgrade in recording systems.

"Is this working?" Rey's unmistakable voice spoke. Ben's eyes widened as he drunk in the image of Rey, normal Rey— _his_ Rey—dressed in her grey robes with her hair loosened and her fiery, compassionate eyes looking squarely into the recording device. "I hope no one will hear this."

"Rey…" he spoke her name with awe. For the moment, the image of the dark sider he clashed with on Kef Bir was removed from his mind.

"I wonder if you'll ever see this, Ben. But I wanted to keep this in case. I don't know why, but I do. I couldn't take your hand because I couldn't follow you. I didn't understand. You look at me as if you're disappointed in me, and I suppose, you have a right to be. But I am disappointed in you too."

He deserved that. He could feel her disappointment in their bond for all those months.

"I cannot watch as you continue self-destructive actions against yourself. It hurts Ben. It really does. Your mother has hope for you but… I don't know how long I can hold on. I miss you. I want to take your hand."

She was crying in the recording. "But maybe you are right. The Jedi need to end. Their teachings offer me nothing. I cannot just… Cut myself off from love. Not with what I want. If everything was different, I would have liked you as my teacher."

Ben couldn't handle hearing her practically pour her broken heart out, but he clung to every word she said. He wished he could reach into this recording and wipe away her tears with his thumb.

"If you see this, then things will be different already. I want us to explore this connection we have, together. But…" She hesitated. "I want you to love _yourself,_ Ben. Oh, someone is coming."

The recording ended, leaving Ben with a hard lump in his throat. He pushed her into severing their connection for even just one week and it crushed his soul.

Rey… He had no idea how to fully interpret her message. Her words. _I wanted to take your hand. Ben's hand._

He wasn't sure if he would ever truly forgive himself for all the deeds he had done, but he could continue with his work as needed.

"R2, I need you to deliver a message to Rey should she not be with me…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Haaaaaa long af chapter and hello yes the title is a reference to the song "Demons" by Starset.
> 
> We are nearing the end! I might add one more chapter as the epilogue depending on how Chapters 16 and 17 plan out. Thank you all so much for your support. <3


	16. Victory or Oblivion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Resistance takes over and the light makes a choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I upped the chapter count on this to include the epilogue. Thank you all for the support on this story! <3
> 
> Also WARNING for minor character death and themes for this chapter and the next.

_Chapter 16: Victory or Oblivion_

Rey still loved Kylo Ren.

She loved Ben Solo too, but he crushed himself away into specks of dust.

It hurt. Oh, it hurt so much.

The tether that remained, it had to be cut.

Kill the corpse of what could have been.

With each lightsaber swing, she delivered upon an unsuspecting boulder under the dark clouds of Exegol, the pain never ceased.

_Tear it all away._

_Destroy this tether._

_Sever the connection._

She trained to the point her muscles screamed for mercy. Rey didn't care once that she was being watched by the Knights of Ren.

Ushar asked Vicrul what the plan was.

"What do we do now, since the Last Jedi rejects her title?"

"Kylo Ren is persistent. He will recover from his injuries and come running for the girl," Vicrul stated. "His feelings for her are our advantage."

"And if he doesn't? We outnumber him."

"He will."

Ushar smirked. "And the Sith will be reborn."

"As Darth Sidious wanted."

* * *

Ben Solo didn't want to admit to Poe Dameron that yes, this plan _was_ insane.

He stood in the zero-gravity chamber in the star-destroyer. Various stormtroopers struggled to adjust to the lack of gravitational pull.

"How are you even remaining on the floor?" Jannah asked from outside of the chamber. She and Rose were overseeing the controls, observing the simulation through transparisteel.

"It's a Force-thing," Rose answered.

Ben maneuvered between the soldiers, correcting their posture, aiding them in finding a footing in balance and using their own internal gravity to move. He was very glad he had the Force allowing him to keep his feet on the ground. He stopped before Finn who was clinging to the ceiling for dear life.

"Oh come on!" Finn exclaimed, seeing how Ben was perfectly fine on the floor. "You got an advantage!"

"So do you," Ben said, trying to contain the mischief in his own eyes. "You have the Force. Surrender yourself to it and let it carry you."

"If this is how you're teaching me for the first lesson…"

"I am no teacher," Ben stated with a firm tone. "I am merely trying to help you, _Finn_ , considering you're clinging to the ceiling in terror."

Finn sighed. "I did not sign up for this Force business." Relaxing his arms, he breathed in and out. And just like that, Finn had his feet firmly planted on the floor. "Whoa." A hint of joy and wonder overcame his face.

Ben wondered if this was the same joy he expressed as a child when the Force opened wide for him.

Right now all Ben felt was the door slammed shut. The bond between him and _her_ had not opened for days. What was she doing? Was she even trying to cut herself off again? Or was it something else? Maybe it was the fact that she was on Exegol, evil incarnate with all the spirits of the Sith lingering about, that was muddling their connection.

Ben turned on his heel and returned to the rest of the squad to aid them in regaining their balance in a space with no other pull to balance them. Once that task was done, Finn gave orders for them to draw their blasters and take aim at the projected targets on the wall.

When the simulation was over, Ben left without another word, leaving Finn to give a report to Rose, Jannah, and General Exa.

"Well?" General Exa queried. "How are the troops?"

Finn, wiping sweat off his forehead, grinned. "Well, they're more acquainted with zero gravity. It won't catch them as off guard as the rest."

Rose nodded. "Accessing the gravity systems will also allow us to control which parts of the dreadnought will have gravity and which won't."

Exa seemed placated. "As insane as this plan is, it might work. Good work today Captain."

Finn beamed. "Well, it's really…"

"Kylo Ren, yes, I know. Still, you're a proponent of what he is pushing for. There's a reason we're all standing behind the Resistance. It is an honor to stand with you, Finn. I cannot imagine a scenario where you didn't flee this ship all those months ago."

Neither could Finn.

* * *

To hide the fact that the people leading this operation were a deflected stormtrooper and the ousted Supreme Leader was virtually impossible.

Ben sat in the meeting room, leaning on his hand with an intense expression of boredom as General Leia pleaded his case against the newly arrived admiral of assistance from sympathetic systems.

"General Organa you cannot be serious," the admiral said with incredulous disdain. "Kylo Ren as the leader of this whole operation…"

"Admiral, without Kylo Ren we wouldn't even _be_ here now. We would still be planet-side, oblivious to our enemies' plans until too late," Leia said, her tone short and curt. "The troops also favor him as a leader. When Armitage Hux is removed from power it will be much easier to dismantle the First Order with someone much more willing to comply with our terms in charge."

"May I remind you, General Organa, that Kylo Ren has committed various acts of terror and did _nothing_ to stop the destruction of the Hosnian System, he's complicit in that cataclysm by that very nature! And he burned down the Jedi temple and killed the hero Luke Skywalker and nearly wiped out you and the Resistance! Forgive me if I am not willing to let one act of mercy be a good enough reason to allow the former Supreme Leader to handle this entire operation and my troops."

Ben rolled his eyes, a twinge of guilt at those things mentioned in his heart. However, it was not the time to wallow in self-hatred, not with work to be done.

Leia tilted her head in that Leia way when she was about to single-handedly obliterate someone by mere words alone. "Forgive me, Admiral. May you remind me who it was exactly that ordered the destruction of the Hosnian System?"

"General Armitage Hux," he said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Under _which_ Supreme Leader?"

"Supreme Leader Snoke but that—"

"Exactly. Kylo Ren had nothing to do nor was he involved with such a horrendous act. And if he was, why don't you ask him how he would have dealt with it in that moment?"

Ben was finally able to speak. "Disobeying Snoke is a death sentence for anyone who worked with him. The only reason he is even gone is because of me seizing the right opportunity. I killed Snoke."

The admiral opened his mouth to protest once more but Ben cut him off. "We can waste all our time in the final hours arguing before we make our way to the Hosnian System and stop Hux's plans or you can move your priorities on the battle that lies ahead. You know our plan. You already answered the Resistance's call. Deal with it."

The admiral huffed. "Fine. I shall see you, General Organa… _Supreme Leader_ Ren." With that, he marched out.

Leia rolled her eyes in unison with her son. "He's still nothing compared to Republic Senators."

Ben wondered how he hadn't lost his patience with the stuffy and arrogant admiral.

If Ben could turn back time, he would have destroyed Starkiller Base himself before the Cataclysm.

"I know that I'm not exactly the biggest fan of being in this role either, but still did he have to spend an hour in here whining about it?" Ben grumbled, getting up from his seat and making his way to the doorway. "It's almost time. You should return to planetside in case something goes awry."

"Wait, Ben," Leia stopped him. Ben turned around and Leia was _hugging_ him again. "No matter what happens, I will always be proud of you, my son."

He blinked, eyes stinging. For so long he wanted this. His mother's love and affection. He returned the hug, unsure of how else to express the same sentiment.

"Bring her home."

"I will."

Leia pulled back from the embrace, smiling at her son. "I would say don't be doing anything brash or impulsive but you're too much like Han."

For the first time in perhaps too long, Ben let out a half chuckle. "I guess I am."

As he left the room, he heard that same old saying again.

"May the Force be with you."

* * *

So much to do. So little time.

In the few sparse days they had, there was one request that Ben asked of Chewie and Lando: to take him back to Pasaana and retrieve his ship. It would be a valuable asset in case something went awry. And knowing how things panned out on Crait, something always did go wrong and it usually involved Ben Solo.

The message was sent. The _Finalizer_ jumped to light-speed.

All Ben Solo could do was wait.

And he was never one for patience.

"So this is your ship?" Lando whistled as he admired the TIE- _Silencer_ in the hangar. "She's a beauty."

Ben glanced at his ship. He wondered if he had pulled the trigger that fateful day on the Resistance, on his _mother_ , if he would be able to bear even using it now.

"It's not as good as the hunk of junk _Falcon_ ," Ben remarked. "But it will do."

Lando laughed. "I remember Han admiring other ships that were newer, sleeker, but he always came back to the _Falcon_."

Ben decided he needed to sit down with Lando after this and ask for more stories about his father.

"Look little starfighter," Lando said, pulling up the very old nickname from when Ben was a child. "Leia told me about Rey and how you got to the ruins of the Death Star. I figured it was time you received this."

Ben's eyes widened as Lando took a blaster off his belt. It was an old blaster; it had to have been over twenty years old at least. Ben recognized it far too easily.

Lando presented Han Solo's blaster to him. "You're going to need it."

Swallowing, Ben took the blaster. "Thank you. But, why?"

Lando patted his nephew's shoulder. "Why what?"

"Why? After…" Everything he had done.

Lando sighed. "Han made me promise that one day I would give you that blaster when you needed it, and he knew you would need it. The loss of Han is rough to think about, and I still don't understand, but I see a man that Han would be proud to see. You are your father's son." He let out a chuckle. "And I bet you can pilot just as good as he."

"I can do better," Ben said, not quite reaching into a smile yet at the heavy memory of his father.

_My son is alive._

"Solo, or should I call you Supreme Leader?" Poe called behind Ben. BB-8 rolled over, making beeping noises at Ben.

Ben had a begrudging respect for the hot-shot pilot named Poe Dameron if only because without Poe the Resistance was as good as done for. "Yes, Commander?"

Lando took his leave.

"Permission to blow stuff up at your word?" Poe asked, being rather cheeky.

One day Ben would have to challenge the cocky pilot to put his skills to a real test. "Permission granted Commander."

Poe saluted. "You're… Not half bad as a strategist, Solo." He said it like he was having his teeth pulled.

Ben crossed his arms. "And you're not that annoying."

Poe raised an eyebrow. "I expected nothing less."

Neither of them expected to ever talk about what happened months ago. Ben didn't even know what to say other than an apology he knew Poe would never accept. This minor modicum of respect with quick jabs at each other was probably all they would ever be during this war and thereafter.

"Go kill some Knights of Ren for me," Poe said before walking away towards his ship. BB-8 glanced at Ben then Poe before following Poe towards his x-wing.

* * *

Finn stood with Jannah, Rose, and Kaydel at his side in front of the shuttle all wearing the black pristine First Order uniforms. His sub-squad of stormtroopers was at the ready, helms on and all. "Right. Where's Solo—Er Kylo Ren?"

"He's by his TIE- _Silencer_ , Captain," one troop answered.

Finn nodded. "Your orders are to escort me, Connix, and Ren to the bridge of the dreadnought _Executioner_. We need to get inside the main ship systems and disable the gravitational pull."

"Captain," the entire squad answered with a salute.

Heavy footsteps approached. Finn observed Ben Solo, wearing his imposing cape as per usual, but also a black holster on his thigh with a blaster. He pulled a comlink out of his pocket. "Lieutenant Mitaka, send the message to the _Executioner_."

" _Yes, sir."_

Ben looked to Finn, his expression turning dark and intense. "We're going."

Finn swallowed, his back shuddering with the lingering and unnerving chill of that injury he received from Kylo's lightsaber. Finn did not envy the people about to stand in Ben Solo's way.

Up on the bridge, Mitaka steeled himself and nodded to one of the communications officers. "This is Lieutenant Mitaka of the _Finalizer_. We are transporting the prisoner now."

" _Copied that, sir."_

The shuttle landed in the docking bay of the large dreadnought _Executioner_. The stormtroopers got into position. Ben sensed the presence of three Knights of Ren, faint Force signatures that were barely noticeable in comparison to Leia or Rey. They would come running. They would tip off Hux, hopefully not before they got to the bridge.

Ben, Finn, and Kaydel stood in the middle of the stormtrooper squad, the tallest positioned near Ben to hide his extreme height. No one paid them much mind as they marched through the halls until they stopped in front of another general.

"Where is the prisoner?" the general demanded.

Ben swept forward in the formation and waved his hand. "You will lead us to the bridge."

The general complied. "I will lead you to the bridge."

With that, the squad was led straight to the bridge. Ben narrowed his eyes, trying to determine where the Knights of Ren were. And where Hux was. The group barged into the bridge. One officer took their blaster and shot at the stormtrooper in front of Finn.

Ben reached out, halting the blast in mid-air before it could even make contact. "I wouldn't try to attack if I were you," he said with a strong glare, sending the bolt at one of the guards square in the abdomen. "Do as we say and no one in this room will get hurt."

Everyone in the room complied, terrified that _Kylo Ren_ was back and making demands they couldn't refuse.

Ben pulled out his comlink. "Commander we're in position. Make your move."

" _Copy_ _that Solo."_

Finn stepped forward. "Squad into defense formation. Connix?"

Kaydel cracked her knuckles. "Where's the main ship life-support system?"

The squad confiscated the weapons of the scant few guards and communications officers.

Alarms began going off all around them. Ben glanced out the windows as Resistance X-wings began to fire upon attacking TIE-fighters.

Chaos exploded. The rest of the Resistance Fleet was not too far behind.

"Where is Armitage Hux?" Ben demanded to any of the First Order officers in the room.

"He's in the cannon bay sir."

A stir in the Force. The Knights of Ren knew and they were fast approaching.

With a flourish of his cape, Ben marched out of the bridge. "No one gets in or out of this room," he ordered as he left.

Finn looked over Kaydel's shoulder, pulling his comlink out. "Rose? Jannah?"

" _They're deploying more ships. We're in disguise,"_ Jannah answered. " _Got a location?"_

"Solo is coming to meet you. Get ready for no gravity," Finn replied. "Where is a map of this thing?!"

Kaydel searched through the controls. "Which section do we even want to disable?"

"Everything except our section?" Finn suggested. "I don't know how this works!"

Kaydel scrambled to pick. "Right. I think I found the right section."

Finn glanced at the squad of troopers. "You all might need to grab something."

* * *

Poe missed the adrenaline rush of being on his X-wing for far too long. Being in the pilot's seat was as easy as breathing. Staring down the main part of the dreadnought, he noticed smaller First Order ships and even destroyers moving into position at their presence. "BB-8 ready?"

BB-8 chirped back a yes.

"Snap, I will need you to cover me in case something goes wrong on Solo's side."

" _Got it, Commander."_

"The dreadnought won't be firing on us but the rest of the ships will be," Poe said to the rest of his squad of X-wing fighters.

The voice of Ben Solo came over the comlink. " _Commander we're in position. Make your move."_

Poe with a sense of relief and dread for what was to come pressed onward. "Copy that Solo. Squad engage! Take out their weapons!"

" _Roger!"_

* * *

Armitage Hux knew something was about to go very wrong. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end the moment he was informed of the shuttle making its transfer of the prisoner, the Jedi girl that Ren was so overly fond of.

"Supreme Leader," Kuruk Ren spoke. "Kylo Ren is on board and has taken over the bridge."

Hux gritted his teeth, raw anger in his hand gripping the handlebar of the overlook of the cannon bay. "Get the other ships in the fleet here _now!_ I want Kylo Ren's head on a spike!" He barked at the lieutenant next to him.

There was no way he was going to let the pathetic Kylo Ren win, not when he was this close to securing victory.

Hux grabbed a blaster, stalking away to get to his personal quarters to a high observation deck. "And find Cardo and Trudgen Ren!"

Kuruk nodded, making his way to the training room to grab his fellow Knights of Ren.

* * *

Ben used the Force to knock anyone standing in his way against the walls. He reached for his crossguard lightsaber and ignited it, the dark side tugging at his soul once more. He didn't do as the dark side commanded, _he_ commanded the dark.

Reading through the minds of the officers and stormtroopers, he heard many thoughts of disillusionment mirroring that of Jannah and even Finn's thoughts. That spark of rebellion. Of fear. Of internal questioning of morality.

_Kylo Ren's vision was brighter._

_I don't want to fight in this war anymore._

_Why are we even here?_

_The First Order should be about bringing order not chaos._

Some, however, didn't share the same sentiment.

_Hux is right to crush the Resistance in his palm._

_He will do what Kylo Ren failed to do._

_A new order upon the galaxy is upon us._

Eventually, he found a group of men poised to attack, their thoughts purely like Hux's own. Unrelenting. Closed.

"Kylo Ren!" one snarled.

Ben raised his hand, halting blaster bolts in the air before stalking over and with a flourish of his lightsaber knocking the blaster out of the man's hand. Pointing his saber at the rest, he gave them his ultimatum.

"I don't have time to deal with the lot of you, but be assured that once General Hux is removed, I will have you all personally tracked down and brought before the Resistance. So, I would think twice before continuing to support your so-called new Supreme Leader."

With that he moved right past them and ran right into Rose and Jannah, walking rather conspicuously.

"Oh! Ben! Okay good," Rose said with a sigh of relief. "We think we found the cannon but we'll have to fight our way through a lot of troops.

Jannah eyed the crackling red lightsaber in his grip. Ben disengaged his weapon, sensing her unease and spoke into his comlink. "Disable the gravity now Finn."

" _Right!"_

Something vibrated all around them as if the entire dreadnought was stilled mid-lightspeed. Ben watched as Rose and Jannah's feet lifted off the ground, Jannah's fluffy hair and Rose's short bangs no longer pulled down by gravity, just floating in all directions. His fingers twitched downwards, pulling them back down to walk.

"Let's go," he said to the two of them. "The Knights of Ren will be waiting for me."

The sight of dozens of First Order officers and stormtroopers trying to gain a foothold on everything would have been amusing if Ben wasn't determined to find the leech, his traitorous knights, and focusing on keeping Rose and Jannah steady with the Force.

" _Attention all stormtroopers,"_ Finn's voice boomed over the intercom system. " _I am FN-2187. I was once one of you."_

Ben blocked a blaster shot from one man floating in the air, continuing onward with Rose and Jannah in tow. They reached a wide clearing in the lower ship hangars. Beyond one more hallway was the cannon.

" _The First Order took everything from you. Your families. Your home and reduced you to machines of war. I had a friend—"_ Finn paused mid-speech. Ben knew who Finn was referring to. The sentiment was not lost on him. " _Who saw beyond just machines of war and darkness and evil and saw a victim of many circumstances, just like us. She had hope. The Resistance has hope in all of you. You don't have to fight anymore. Build a better future, as your now-overthrown Supreme Leader tried to do over the months since Crait."_

It was like a spark was set off. Many of the stormtroopers turned their weapons on their superiors, the loyalists towards the First Order.

"Kylo Ren was right!" One shouted.

"FN-2187 betrayed the First Order for a reason!"

Well, that was unexpected.

A riot broke out between the First Order's own army. Loyalists to Kylo Ren's regime turned on loyalists to Armitage Hux. The lack of gravity pulling them all into the air caused every weapon attack and blaster shot stray in all directions. Ben, Rose, and Jannah maneuvered underneath it all and into a new hallway. Droids and personnel clung to the ceiling and walls, trying to find some semblance of balance.

Upon arriving in the cannon bay, Ben Solo stared in shock at the massive weapon. It was definitely large enough to blow a giant hole in a planet to wipe out any civilization in one go.

The rage.

The disgust.

The guilt.

Memories of Ben's witness to that piercing red-beam cutting across the stars and the sensation of millions all vanishing in the Force flashed through his consciousness.

No more.

He turned to Rose and Jannah. "You can deactivate this right? Put it out of use? Make it blow up even?"

Rose nodded. "Yes! We just need to get up to the top."

Ben released the steady hold he had on Rose and Jannah, letting them float towards the ladder attachment on the side. He pushed the floating workers and rogue troopers away from the duo using a tug of the Force.

The zing of three lightsabers igniting turned Ben's attention away from the two saboteurs to face Kuruk, Cardo, and Trudgen Ren.

Taking his cross-guard lightsaber out, Ben melded himself into Kylo Ren once again. "How does it feel," he took one step towards them, saber out in front of his chest with a twist of his hand, "to know you will die by my hand?"

"You ran like a coward," Trudgen spat back. His new leg was unsteady still. A new advantage. "You didn't do the bidding of the dark anymore. You failed to follow in Lord Ren's footsteps. In _Darth Vader's_ footsteps!"

"Ap'lek was right," Kuruk spoke. "Your pull to the light was far too strong."

"And do you listen to Ushar and Vicrul too?" Ben snapped. "Those fools would rather be slaves to the old ways of the Sith! It's not too late to turn your back on all this."

Cardo's silence was concerning, but Ben couldn't risk reading into his mind.

"Ushar and Vicrul maybe have the right idea!" Trudgen declared, making Cardo visibly flinch.

"The Sith shan't be resurrected. They're trying with the Last Jedi with that holocron, but who knows, she might have killed them first," Cardo finally spoke. "We aren't like Snoke who pushed ideals of the Sith. We simply _are_ darkness."

Trudgen's stance became more rigid, his red lightsaber tilting away from Ben and towards Cardo. "Always the sentimental philosophical one. You're weak and foolish just like Kylo Ren!" He struck a red blow at Cardo's abdomen.

Ben's temper flared at Cardo collapsing to the floor. "No. You, Ushar, and Vicrul are the weak ones," he growled, waiting for the one moment that Trudgen would turn on him.

Trudgen roared, forcing himself to run at Ben, plunging his blade right at Ben's chest. Ben released his grip on gravity and launched himself into the air, causing Trudgen to stumble forward before he too, lowered his grip on gravity. Trudgen launched himself forward again.

One clash of blades. Ben glared at Trudgen through the hold.

Two clash of blades. Ben pulled out his grandfather's lightsaber and blocked the strike of Kuruk Ren's saber. Surrendering himself to the Force, Ben pushed them both back, backflipping in the process. The weightlessness carried him in mid-air.

Two versus one. Ben breathed in and out, his muscles singing from the movements.

Trudgen was flying at him again, but Kuruk flew at Trudgen. The two knights clashed and relieved Ben for a moment to hear Rose over the comlink.

" _The controls for the failsafe are bound by Hux! I can't do anything."_

Finn and Poe talked over each other.

" _What do we do Solo?"_

" _Can we blow it up?"_

Kuruk threw Trudgen off balance and sent him flying into Ben. Ben parried and pushed back, trying to think.

" _Solo?!"_

Ben raised his other saber up to apply more pressure to Trudgen's blade. "I'm a bit busy," he said through gritted teeth. He pushed Trudgen off and traded blows until Kuruk tried to attack his flank again. In typical fashion, Ben kicked Kuruk square in the gut, slashing at Trudgen's side right after.

"Find this hangar and blow it up Dameron," Ben ordered into the comlink. "I will open the entry."

" _Copy that Solo!"_

" _Wait we're blowing it up?!"_

"Get out of there, Rose, Jannah. Get everyone out!" Ben yelled, twirling around in mid-air and pushing himself off the sidewall of the cannon. "And turn the gravity back on now!"

" _On it!"_ Finn answered.

"You're all fools! All of you." Trudgen roared, realigning himself in mid-air and darting his eyes between Kuruk who was hopelessly suspended in the air and back to Ben. Trudgen eyed the dual lightsabers in his grasp. "You just couldn't let go of that stupid nobody Jedi girl."

Ben's anger shook his knuckles, but he steeled himself, breathing in and out and thinking of all those months ago, in the throne room.

_They were nobody._

"No. She's not a nobody. Not to me," Ben said, feeling gravity pull his body down.

The ship shuddered as the gravitational pull knocked hundreds out of thin air.

Ben landed on his feet perfectly, Kuruk and Trudgen not so much. He sprinted towards the control panel. He snuck a glance at Cardo's body, a hint of guilt at the man unmoving for disagreeing with Trudgen's insanity.

Like muscle memory, Ben reached the panel and punched in the codes he knew by heart and the latch began to slowly open.

Trudgen and Kuruk weren't done with him yet.

"It's not too late to walk away from this," Ben said, hoping one of them would listen as Trudgen reached for his lightsaber.

"Kylo Ren, Master of the Knights of Ren, so stupidly sentimental. You're not of dark yet you use it to your whims," Trudgen sneered, limping forward, his prosthetic leg bent and limp. "Wait until the Sith claim your precious Jedi. There will be nothing left of you."

Ben could have been angered, but he was more tired than anything. Tired of the dictation that light and dark are separate and should be kept separate. That one must choose.

Ben had the choices stripped away from him. Ben didn't know what he wanted to be. Only what he was expected to be to feel like he had some purpose and acceptance in the universe.

Rey reached out to him amidst the darkness in his soul.

Kuruk charged at both him and Trudgen, lightsaber aimed to kill.

Without another word left to even spare, Ben took his blaster on full power and fired a perfect shot at Kuruk’s chest, stunning him mid-run. His body collapsed. Ben turned his attention back to Trudgen trying to stand up on one leg.

With a heavy heart, Ben angled his red saber perfectly at the height of Trudgen Ren's neck.

And _swung._

Ben gasped out as he looked past the corpse of Trudgen Ren crumbling to the floor.

 _Her_ signature. _Her_ presence.

It was _her_. And yet it wasn't.

The worst part, he could see her surroundings. Their bond had gotten only stronger.

The yearning to touch her. To go to her.

"You…" Rey spoke upon a darkened throne. The shape was easily recognizable from the emperor's own in the Death Star II. A Sith throne. With her scowling golden eyes, she shattered Ben Solo's heart once more. "You're too late, Kylo Ren."

Everything was screaming at Ben to hurry. The beep of the comlink in his pocket was echoing and full of voices. But he could only stare at her.

He said nothing to her. He couldn't really say anything. Everything he did, all his work, his actions, all that screamed to Rey, was a monster. He was a machine with a red lightsaber who had just slaughtered his own knight and knocked out the other one.

_You are a monster._

_Yes, I am._

All the options left before Ben Solo led to only one: go to her.

The connection ended. Ben sprinted over to Cardo Ren, pulling the young man over on his back.

A giant gash tore through Cardo's armor. The flesh-wound was deep enough that immediate medical attention would be the only thing preventing him from dying. Ben shoved the helmet off the knight's head, revealing the wispy blond hair to accompany the youthful face of a twenty-three-year-old.

Ben was twenty-three when Luke tried to kill him. Ben was twenty-three when he killed Ren.

Somehow the number twenty-three felt cursed.

Ben had to do something. There was no time left for Cardo.

Unless…

" _Solo! Rose! I found the cannon's opening. Is everyone out?"_ Poe shouted over the comlink.

" _Ben is still in there dealing with the Knights of Ren,"_ Jannah answered.

" _He better hurry then, we have more of the First Order fleet on our tails."_

Ben took a chance on the old musings of the Jedi of old. He placed a hand on Cardo's limp shoulder and focused.

Breathe.

_Heal._

Ben let the Force flow through him and pour into healing the worst part of Cardo's wound.

Cardo groaned in pain and started to move.

Another groan and he saw Kuruk trying to get up. Ben waved his hand and pulled Kuruk’s saber to his grasp. Kuruk stood up and saw that Cardo was waking up.

“You need to leave now if you want to live,” Ben said.

Kuruk nodded, limping out of the bay.

"Can you walk? We have to get out of here now," Ben said to Cardo, short and firm in his tone. Cardo nodded. Pulling him up, Ben pulled Cardo's arm on his shoulder and walked him out. Cardo clutched at his own gut, groaning in pain.

"What…" Cardo tried to question everything but was too blinded by the searing sting.

Ben tugged on the Force to help keep his Knight upright. He collected his lightsaber and pushed Cardo to the shelter of the empty hallway.

"Blow it up Poe," Ben muttered into his comlink.

_Boom._

It was beautiful, in a way. The flames licked at the air, the sheer force of the explosions from two perfectly aimed shots shook the floor and flickered at Ben's locks. His eyes reflected the reds and oranges and yellows of the carnage. He flinched at the highest impact point, the Force keeping debris from even touching Ben, Cardo, and Kuruk.

The machine was beyond repair. The explosion happened from the inside, tearing the main body to shreds. Sparks of fried wiring and smoked metal filled the air.

Ben looked up to see the overlook had the transparisteel blown out. Armitage Hux barely stood, observing the damage with an evident fury in his stature. Ben ignited his own lightsaber and stalked across the bay, chasing his target with unrelenting steps.

" _I got a good hit on it."_

" _Where is Hux?"_

" _Most of the leadership has fallen on the dreadnought."_

Ben ignored the conversations being exchanged on his comlink.

" _Is Solo okay?"_

" _We got the other star_ _-_ _destroyers to stop firing on us. Where is Solo?"_

He followed Hux all the way to Hux's private quarters. It was much more expansive, with windows looking out to the ocean of stars. Both fleets were at a standstill. It was very much the beginning of the end.

"The First Order is finished," Ben spoke, lightsaber still alight with trembling cracks. "And so are your loyal bodyguard traitors."

Hux held a blaster right at Ben with a trembling hand. "You were throwing away everything the First Order stood for! The galaxy needs these ideals! I learned that lesson a long time ago and you would be wise to do the same!"

Kylo Ren reached out with his hand, tightening his fingers in a choking motion. "No, Hux. I was making the First Order _better._ "

Hux gasped for air, his face turning purple. His fingers twitched and squeezed the trigger.

Kylo Ren's temper flared higher as he halted the bolt with the force and redirected it into the wall. It would have been too easy to squeeze all the air out of Hux. It would have been too easy to take his lightsaber and stab it straight into Hux's chest and leave the body on the ground.

Ben Solo released his stranglehold on Hux and fired his blaster at him, not enough to do very lethal damage, but enough to knock him down. Ben cuffed the man, leaving him for the Resistance to find and deal with.

He walked away, heading straight for his TIE- _Silencer_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's title was inspired by one Riku line in Kingdom Hearts 2. I had to get in at least one reference from Riku considering his arc and all.
> 
> TIS THE END next chapter. Ben gonna go get his girl back.


	17. Darkness Bleeds Into Gray

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dyad meets in the middle.

_Chapter 17: Darkness Bleeds Into Gray_

A boy of ten years old opened his eyes. The voices inside his head woke him from his sound sleep, again.

He moved about his day, sitting at the table while his mother poured over a datapad as per usual. Midday sunshine shone through the tall windows looking out to the rest of the civilization of Chandrila.

Something awoke. Something strong. The boy was shaking for a moment before it halted.

"Ben?" his mother said, looking up for once from her datapad. "You alright?"

Finally. Attention. "I… I guess?"

Ben was always sensitive to the Force for as long as he could remember. The feeling of every living being breathing and the planet he lived on itself feeling alive sometimes overwhelmed his sensitive soul.

His mother was rarely around on days like this. His father even less so.

Even so, Ben couldn't help but feel something new. Something warm. A light. He didn't know what it was. But it soothed the ache, the want for company. The desperate plea within him to not be so lonely.

Ten years old and Ben Organa-Solo felt a connection tied to his very being.

One day, in a fateful forest, in his pursuit for twisted revenge, the darker side of Ben Solo—Kylo Ren—would finally find that light.

* * *

Finn watched as Ben Solo's TIE- _Silencer_ took off from the hangar of the _Finalizer_. There were so many questions and answers to be had, but Finn couldn't help but just silently watch.

After Ben ordered that Cardo Ren be immediately put in a bacta tank and Kuruk Ren be put on watch, he took a shuttle back to the _Finalizer_ to regroup with the rest of the Resistance, only to put Poe and Mitaka back in charge and left without another word.

Finn knew why he left again. And this time, Finn was terrified of the outcome. If Ben returned alone or never did, that meant only two things.

Somehow, he was also sad if only Rey returned.

Finn once asked Rey, rather jokingly at the time, if Rey had a boyfriend. In hindsight, he was mildly interested in her and was being nosy. She snapped with a none-of-your-business remark. It took Maz a moment to explain to him what it all meant. She was waiting for parents who weren't coming back for her.

Finn was new to this Force business still, but one thing was for certain, he hoped that the Force brought both of them back, because he wanted Rey to be happy.

It was what she deserved.

* * *

Ben still despised Exegol.

Landing near the same spot as before, the whispers of the Sith came back, caressing his ears, trying to get inside his mind. Attempting to ignore them, Ben stepped out of his TIE- _Silencer_ and adjusted himself. He clipped his cape off and shoved it into a small compartment. Then he removed his tunic and pulled on the back sheath, reaching back and sliding his grandfather's legacy saber in the leather hold. His sweater hung loose over his broad shoulders, only held in place by the sheath.

Igniting his red lightsaber for light, he stepped into the darkness once more, following the path he took before. The lights above still darted between clouds. The Force rippled around Ben. He breathed in and out in steady gasps.

_You won't succeed. You will turn back to the dark. The girl is ours now. Turn back._

His thoughts turned to his mother; her comforting Force signature easing away the worries of a forced legacy, but always far away. To his father who taught him how to fly a ship using the _Millennium Falcon_. Those memories, though fleeting, so distant, kept the whispers of the evil dark at bay. They couldn't use them against him.

He stopped halfway down the path leading to the area where Vicrul tried to attack him with lightning.

Leaning against the wall was a rather young man in Jedi robes, a blue aura about his translucent form. His hair curled the same way Ben's did.

Another Force-ghost? Really? "Who are you?" Ben asked, not sure if he can handle more great Jedi words of wisdom again. "And how am I able to see you in this place?"

"My name is Anakin Skywalker," he introduced himself. "You called out to me, asking for Darth Vader, but I couldn't answer."

Did Ben really need this right now? "Why are you here?"

"Because I wanted to… See."

"See what?"

Anakin sighed. "My biggest regret, my greatest failure, was not being there for my wife. For my children. For my own grandson. Save Rey, Ben Solo. The dyad can make this right."

Anakin was gone before Ben could reply. He still felt the presence of Anakin in the Force. Of the past Jedi masters he had encountered.

_"May the Force_ _be with you. Always."_

Letting the positive memories flow, Ben took careful steps into the clearing and was greeted by a sight that stole his breath away.

 _She_ was sitting on her throne with the holocron in her hand, the two traitor Knights of Ren standing by her side.

Ben clicked off his lightsaber. "Rey," he said, his voice raw and trembling. "I can feel the light within you. Please…"

Rey kept her gaze upon him, eyes intense with a hint of gold within.

Vicrul laughed with mockery. "You had your chances long ago. Now, look at you, weak, feeble, pathetic. The Sith shall be resurrected with your end."

The two Knights reached for their lightsabers, but Rey raised her hand to halt them. She stood up from her throne. "Leave him; I will deal with Kylo Ren myself."

Ben reached out with his hand; to Rey's broken and lonely soul to soothe her cries. "I feel the conflict in you. It's tearing you apart." He took careful steps towards her. "I've been down this path Rey, it doesn't help. It never helps."

Rey activated her lightsaber. "Your words mean nothing to me now."

Ben's fingers trembled as he reached behind his back for his lightsaber, pushing his thoughts into their bond.

_You mean everything to me._

Rey clenched her teeth.

_Empty! Meaningless! You're lying!_

_If I am lying then take my mind. See all of it._

_Never._

She raised her double-bladed lightsaber at him. A twinge of regret twitched in the movement. She placed the holocron on the armrest of the throne with a flick of her hand and turned her attention to Ben. The Rey he knew was still inside. This was a mere mask forced upon her by pure evil.

A slash. Ben blocked it, blue bleeding onto red.

Rey angled the other end of her blade to get his flank. Ben halted it in mid-air. Jumping back, he planted his feet in a firm stance as Rey charged at him with a battle cry. With a spin, Ben was able to deflect her continuous jabs, taking careful footsteps back as her full rage and sorrow took control of her body.

Their bond shook, trying to bridge the disharmony into something stable.

_I tried so hard to reach you but everything fell deaf on ears._

_Rey…_

_All I wanted was you to see..._

_Rey…_

_I shouldn't have believed. I was a fool!_

Ben was slipping in his grip, his internal pleas not even being heard in the bond. His eyes darted to that damned holocron, glinting in the dull darkness of Exegol.

One chance.

His only chance.

Ben sidestepped Rey in her one-second lapse and pulled upon his anger towards the Sith for what they had done to Rey. What they were trying to strip away from her. The holocron flew in front of him and instead of raising his lightsaber to block her incoming swing; he merely took a step back.

The red of the saber collided with gold and sent it shattering into splinters. Rey's eyes widened in uncontrolled rage.

"You're a fool, Kylo Ren!" Vicrul snarled, ready to join into the fray.

Rey raised her hand and halted both knights into place. "He's _mine_."

Ben flinched back as her lightsaber grazed his chest again; reopening the same wound she gave him on Kef Bir, but not as deep. The burn seared across his skin. He fell to one knee, battered off balance.

Rey grazed the metal of Ben's lightsaber, knocking it out of his grasp. Ben left her no opening. His red lightsaber in hand, he parried her staff-saber to the point he was able to knock it out of her grip completely.

Rey tackled him to the ground, pinning his hands and trying to tug the red lightsaber out of his grasp.

Ah, how they were once locked into such an embrace, long ago, in a snowy forest in the heat of anguish and grief. The Force sang then, and it sang now.

Breathe.

Ben thought.

Just.

_Breathe._

Ben pushed Rey off of him with the Force, but she took something in return, yanking Ben's bleeding lightsaber into her own hand. Ben rolled over, getting up to his knees.

Looming over him, Rey was ready, the lightsaber pointed at his chin. Never had Ben feared his own weapon so much before, what it implied. With his death, the light in Rey would be dead. Their bond would be severed. "When I finish you, I will have killed the Last Skywalker," she declared, her voice low and deadly. That sparked something in Ben, something he realized. The real Rey was within, still holding on. Protecting others even still.

 _This isn't you,_ Ben thought in their bond. _Please come back, Rey. The woman I know has fire and compassion. You showed me everything and more._

Vicrul urged her on. "Finish him and resurrect the Sith at last!"

His lightsaber trembled in her hand, the red beam still crackling with power near his face. She was hesitating. Her words were mere posturing at this point. Looking up into her eyes, he brushed against her mind, pushing an image of his vision on Pasaana into her head. He was met with one singular thought.

_I don't want to be alone, please..._

"Rey," Ben said, his breath ragged and short. A single tear slipped down his cheek. "No matter what happens, I'll come back for you sweetheart. I promise."

Her hands quivered. The golden specks of color in her eyes were blinked away. Realization slowly melted the malice off her face. Warmth rushed through their bond, piercing through all the whispers swirling around the duo.

She too, had a single tear slip her cheek. With a breathless intimacy, she spoke.

"Ben."

The saber fell out of her grasp.

"Ben," she said again. And again, her voice trying not to break into a sob. "Ben… It is you. It's… Always been you."

He stood up, picking up his saber.

She looked at him as if she was seeing him for the very first time.

Ben reached his hand up and brushed the tear away with his thumb. He gave a few words of reassurance. "I'm here now, sweetheart."

Their loving gaze was broken by the sound of two lightsabers igniting.

"How adorable, how pathetic!" Vicrul snarled, his voice laced with that of booming power. "The dyad must die in order for the Sith to continue on!"

Ushar and Vicrul encircled the pair. Ben shoved his lightsaber into Rey's hand, understanding humming between them. Ben reached out with his own hand and tugged his grandfather's saber to his grasp. The duo turned away, back to back, together, ready to finish this nightmare.

This was their dyad. It was all theirs. It belonged to no one else.

"You could have joined us, the both of you," Ushar said.

Ben shrugged at him. "I could have said the same to you."

Rey clashed with Vicrul, Ben clashed with Ushar.

Their harmony swirled into something new. The adrenaline of trust and union in the throne room of the _Supremacy_ was ten-fold now. Rey side-stepped Vicrul's stab. Ben dodged one swipe of Ushar's lightsaber. Rey came at Vicrul from his flank and bashed into his lightsaber. Vicrul slid out and the two encircled each other.

Rey still felt the darkness in her ears, pushing at her guilt.

_You almost killed him! He bears a scar because of you!_

She stepped back one pace, trying to regain control of herself and her mess of thoughts.

 _Use your memories Rey,_ Ben thought to her. _Think of them. Hold on to me._

Heeding his words, she breathed in and out, recalling her precious few happy memories. Her memories of Finn telling being straight-laced as Poe explained some jokes to him. Of Rose silently working beside her on the _Falcon_. Of Chewie supporting her choice to go to Ben Solo. Of Leia hugging her. The strongest one of all was Ben's light shining through in a small hut on an island she dreamed about for years. His words, clear, gentle, laced with sincerity.

_You're not alone._

That wasn't her memory. That was Ben, right now, speaking to her through the bond.

 _Neither are you,_ she thought back.

Something was wrong. Vicrul charged again and locked his blade with hers. Sparks of electricity danced between his fingers. Rey glared him down, her gut twisting at the electricity flickering along the two lightsabers.

"The Sith offered me the true ways of the Force. You could have had it all!" Vicrul snarled out, his golden eyes red-rimmed and glinting with derangement.

All she wanted was right behind her, supporting her every step of the way. "No," she pressed back, her voice even with underlying fire. "I don't need it. I never wanted it."

Ben kicked down Ushar, using the force to remove the man's helmet. Ushar glared as he struck back, swinging with no control. Ben parried each strike with considerable ease.

"Lord Ren wasted his efforts upon you. You killed our master and for what?" Ushar questioned. "So you would turn back? You turned on all of us, your legacy."

Ben looked at his opponent with pity, twisting his lightsaber at an angle to put pressure on Ushar's hands with another deflection. "I didn't _want_ my legacy." He jumped up and over, landing behind Ushar and plunged his saber into Ushar's back.

Ushar fell to his knees, gone in an instant.

Ben sensed the panic in the bond.

Rey struggled to hold onto her lightsaber, her hair falling free from her hood as the wind picked up around her and Vicrul. The whispers were getting unbearable in her ears. So loud. So desperate.

_You're still nothing!_

_You have no family._

_You have nothing._

The electricity bounced between them. Rey struggled to hold on, her arms trembling.

A hand on her waist kept her steady. The blue of the legacy lightsaber pushed up against the red of the crossguard, applying a ward of protection. Ben focused back on the lightning with her. The crack and sparks tore at their lightsabers. Rey's nerves were on fire from the pain, little shocks trailing up her arm.

The dyad pushed back. They breathed in and out with the force pulsing between them, through them.

 _No more separation,_ they both said to each other, the silence saying enough.

The pressure built and built, the lightning dancing out towards Ben and Rey.

Rey never felt so terrified in her life. Not when she was starving on Jakku, not when first kidnapped into the arms of Kylo Ren, not when she faced Snoke and thought she was going to die.

"Ben!" She screamed, shoving him back with the Force.

It snapped. The lightning bounced off of their sabers and right into Vicrul. A shockwave of pure energy shoved her down to the ground, her nerves and fingers numb and fried. The lingering energy crackled into the air, shocking through the clouds.

Rey had no idea what had just happened as she laid upon the ground, everything happening in a blur. Her limbs twitched. Electricity was ringing in her ears. The whispers hushed. She couldn't move. She couldn't even think, except for one thing.

_Ben?_

Her body stilled. Her breathing ceased.

* * *

Empty.

Ben was empty.

One moment the lightning was surging through their lightsabers, the next, the dyad had harmonized and the Force pushed back.

But that didn't matter to Ben. He was on the ground, his heart numb and his soul empty. All he could think of was Rey.

_Rey?_

Nothing.

A lump formed in his throat. This was different from when she separated herself from the force. That was a mere strain. This empty feeling felt like something was broken beyond repair. The other half of his being was simply _gone._

He had to get up. He had to find her. His leg throbbed in ache. He didn't care. Pushing himself up, Ben spotted her body on the ground several feet away. He limped, grunting in pain. Falling on his knees, he choked back a sob. He had to get to Rey. He had to. When he came upon her finally— _finally_ —he fell to the ground and picked her up, laying her in his lap.

She was cold in his grasp. Too cold. She wasn't breathing. The fiery light in her eyes was ashes now. Her heart had gone still. Her Force signature vanished, like a star that had died.

He choked, pulling her into his grasp.

Their dyad was one whole for only a moment and it was taken away.

Ben pulled back and placed his hand on her abdomen while supporting her neck with his other hand. He breathed in and out, letting his life force breathe into her. Using the Force in this way was as easy as just breathing.

Ben closed his eyes in concentration.

_Heal._

There was no one else with them. No one else to save her.

_We are one._

He held back his tears, too exhausted and broken to even cry.

_Please come back to me._

He could have given everything in that moment to see life in her eyes one more time. Anything, for her.

_Please._

Something brushed against the back of his hand, nimble fingers feeling his skin. His eyes snapped open and his breath caught in his throat. The fiery light within Rey's eyes returned.

And suddenly he was one whole once more. Her Force signature shined so bright with a warmth that comforted him even in the darkest years of his life. Ben could feel her, in his hands, in the force, everywhere. Her hand was clutching at his.

She sat up, looking at Ben in a panic then sharp relief.

"Rey," he said, breathlessly, winded from the amount of energy he had put into reviving his soulmate. Her hand reached up to cup his cheek, his other hand still remaining on her stomach.

She gazed at him with a look that he had seen once before in the hut, face illuminated by a fire. Ben wasn't sure what this look was exactly, but his eyes darted to her lips and back to her eyes.

Rey was smiling. _Smiling._ "Ben."

"I thought… I thought I lost you," Ben mumbled. "I…"

"I thought I did too, but…" Her smile drifted off her lips. "I'm so sorry. I hurt you." Her hand went down to his chest, which he had forgotten about the burn in the rush of adrenaline and heartbreak. "I did this to you. I almost…"

Ben grabbed her hand. "Sweetheart, I forgive you."

Rey's eyes misted over, looking at his lips before looking back to his eyes. Those same, strong, expressive eyes. She recalled being mesmerized by his eyes the day they met. Dark. Rich. So full of emotion, betraying the interior he desperately wanted to shun away for so long.

She could feel his soul as one, no longer split into two halves tugging at each other in a crying conflict. And Rey supposed she didn't feel the conflict in herself anymore either. It hurt to think she tried to sever this, this oneness from herself forever. Rey, at the end of all things, finally found the belonging ahead of her.

This was all she ever wanted. To be wanted. To be loved. He never left her behind, not once. He came for her even in her darkest hour. He chose _her._

She reached her free hand up to entangle into his hair, the two of them exchanging soft glances at the other's lips. With a surge of want, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his.

Soft. Her lips were so soft. His heart pounded as he clutched her closer, savoring the sweet feeling of her lips, the taste, the way she slightly moved her mouth against his in curiosity. His fingers on her neck gently applied pressure, the kiss deepening, lips between lips, a slight tease of more. Underlying passion bubbled beneath the surface.

Rey pulled away for air, Ben leaning forward trying to chase her mouth for one moment before opening his eyes.

And Rey saw it. It was so breathtaking; it was beautiful beyond compare to anywhere she had been in the galaxy.

His smile.

The stars dotting a sea of endless darkness couldn't compare to Ben's smile. She loved that smile so much, she wanted to kiss it over and over.

 _I don't hear any more whispers,_ he thought.

 _Neither do I,_ she answered in turn.

Rey smiled. The two sat in a comfortable silence, holding each other, taking in the moment, the new reality set forth in front of them. There were no more voices dictating their paths and choices. The dyad was free. The Force was finally balanced.

She leaned her forehead against his.

_Sorry for losing faith._

_Sorry for pushing you to it._

_We're both very stupid, aren't we?_

_Yes, we are._

The two of them laughed; Rey's a joyous, melodious laugh, Ben's a low rumble but no less full of unbridled happiness. He halted in the midst of their laughter to reach over to Rey's arm, tugging away the leather that obscured her red marking.

"It's our symbol," he whispered.

She kissed him again, this time with unwavering fervor. He kissed her back with no hesitation.

* * *

Leia was looking over the various reports back on Ajan Kloss. They all needed approval from the Supreme Leader, and she wasn't quite sure what to do about it.

The Resistance returned with exuberant smiles in their secured victory. Leia had gone back to the base prior to the assault and waited with bated breath the results of the massive endeavor.

Poe came back. Finn came back. Rose came back.

Her son had not come back.

For a moment, something flickered away in the force. Leia couldn't tell if it was Ben or Rey's signature that died out. Her heart, ailing with ache, hoped that wasn't the case.

"General Organa!" Rose Tico barged into her room. "It's your son."

Without a word, Leia stood up from her desk and made way outside to see a ship landing in the bay.

Rose and Finn rushed over as the hatch opened up. Out stepped a limping Ben Solo, his face bruised and mildly bloodied on one side, his clothes simple and minimal in comparison to his attire as Kylo Ren.

At his side, clutching his hand, was Rey. She was dressed in black robes, her hair completely down and brushing against her shoulders.

And they were both smiling. A rare sight.

Leia watched as Rey ran forward and hugged Finn then Rose. Poe watched the exchange by Leia's side, a grin on his lips as Rey explained some of the details revolving around her and Ben's miraculous return.

Maz Kanata joined her as well. "Finally, the dyad is whole."

"So how long until you think you'll be attending their wedding?" Poe joked.

Leia rolled her eyes. "One thing at a time first."

With how Ben looked upon Rey with such love and adoration, Leia wouldn't be surprised if he was ready to propose right then and there.

* * *

In a way, he did propose.

Rey was working on the _Falcon_ once again, this time with Chewie doing the heavy lifting while Lando was aboard, testing things.

Ben watched from afar, his nerves rising. All the ridiculous meetings and discussion of what to do with the remnants of the First Order—the discussion of the repercussions of his actions being among other things—had left Ben with little time to spend with Rey for an entire week. The only comfort he got with her is being able to sleep at her side at night, holding her hand.

He sometimes between meetings eavesdropped on the conversations of various Resistance members in curiosity, only to get annoyed at what they were talking about.

"Kylo Ren in love with the Last Jedi? I thought Poe was joking!"

"I mean have you seen him look at her? He has the hots for her badly."

"I envy her. Who wouldn't want to climb that?"

Did the slowly disbanding Resistance really have nothing better to do now the war was over except gossip about his love life?

"Rey?" he called her to attention as he approached. "Can we talk?"

Rey looked up from her work. She still wore black robes and still kept her hair down, but she no longer carried herself with raw anger and she shied away from a black cloak. She smiled— _ah that sunshine smile_ —and nodded. "Of course Ben."

He led her to the woods for some privacy away from the nosy Resistance and sat her down on the same rock she used to meditate for months with.

"Rey I…" Ben sighed, brushing his hair back. "I saw your message."

Rey's eyes widened. "Y-You did?"

"Yes, I did. I want to discover this dyad. I want to learn about it… With you. Just you. Everything right now with the galaxy is such a mess and there's so much to be done, but afterward…" He took a shaking breath, feeling like he was back in the throne room again. "Will you join me in all this?" He extended his hand to her as he did all those months ago. "Please?"

Rey's throat got tight, tears brimming on the edge of her eyes. She reached without hesitation his hand. "Yes, Ben. I will. I will follow wherever you go, even if it's to boring meetings, even if it's the end of all things. I want you. Just you."

He pulled her into a hug, burying his nose into her sweet-smelling locks. "Thank you." His embrace was so warm. Sturdy even. Being held by Ben Solo felt like home to Rey.

Because she was home whenever they were together. She belonged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, at the end of all things. Epilogue incoming because I felt this chapter was mostly Ben and Rey's moment more than anything else.
> 
> Thank you all so, so much for the support and follows on this! And all the comments. <3
> 
> 2 months ago I started writing this story because I was utterly devastated and so angry with how it all ended with TROS, but now I'm gradually starting to heal. More Reylo fics incoming from me including updates to I Won't Stay Silent and more.


	18. Epilogue: Master Ben & Master Rey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some discussion is exchanged.

_Epilogue: Master Ben & Master Rey_

Today was Ben's thirtieth birthday.

It was strange to think about. Ben hadn't considered he would ever reach that mark in his life. Nor would he feel the need to celebrate it ever.

One month had passed since the dreadnought _Executioner_ was brought to heel. One month since the events of Exegol.

He had asked Rey to take off with him in the middle of the night to come here, just one day away from it all from the New Order business and all that it entailed. However, it didn't even occur to him that it was his birthday until they landed planet-side on Naboo.

He knew he would get a lecture from his mother and Dameron for taking off with only a note left behind—and a lecture from Chewie for taking the _Falcon_ as well. It was one day, everyone could afford one day without him and Rey. Once when things were more settled Ben would take Rey everywhere in the galaxy.

"Happy birthday, Ben Organa-Solo," Rey said from the doorway. He turned around to spot her in a beautiful silver dress. Simple. So much like her.

Ben adjusted his collar, thinking about how great she looked in that dress. His own attire was nothing to sneeze at, a black formal uniform with a cape to match. Something about how the "Prince of Alderaan must look the part" according to the caretakers of the Naberrie estate.

"How did you know?"

"You think quite loudly enough through our bond, Ben," she teased.

His heart fluttered every time she spoke his name. He would never get used to hearing it. Hearing her say it made him proud to have that name, just so he could hear it over and over from her lips.

She walked over, glancing at the sunset lowering closer to the horizon. "It's so beautiful out here," she said with an amused smile.

"So are you—beautiful I mean," Ben stammered out.

She turned to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Ben." She rose on her tiptoes, her arms around his neck, and inched up towards his face, pressing a brief kiss to his lips.

This was real. All of it.

"Rey," Ben said, pulling her closer to him, bending down to alleviate the height difference between them. "I want to try something, sweetheart," he muttered in her ear.

Rey nodded, her tilt of her head playing a little coy at his gesture.

Ben pressed his lips against hers, deeply. He kissed her and kissed her, mouths moving in perfect sync. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed impossibly closer. His fingers moved up her back and into her hair, causing a slight moan to escape her lips. She clutched at his shoulders, fingers tantalizingly brushing over the skin on his neck and jaw.

As they were locked in the deep, passionate kissing, Ben projected his memories through their bond. The way he was so dazed after their first kiss. The way he wanted to kiss her in the elevator of the _Supremacy_. The way he felt for her upon seeing her so depressed from her exploration of the dark side. The way his blood rushed when they were fighting together in the throne room. When he first laid eyes upon her in Takodana. When he first felt her presence in his soul as a child. When he opened her escape pod and laid eyes upon her new appearance.

When Rey caught the legacy lightsaber in his hand, his heart was taken away and he knew—he just knew that he had fallen for the scavenger from nowhere.

Ben pulled away, out of breath and dizzy from projecting his memories so intensely into her mind.

Rey was speechless and not because of lack of air. Her mind turned over each memory carefully.

"You've… Felt this way ever since…" She was awe-struck. She pulled him into a hug. "Thank you, for sharing that."

He returned the hug. "You're welcome, sweetheart."

The two of them pulled back and smiled at each other. Rey released her grip on his shoulders and took his hand. "Are you ready?"

He nodded. "Yes."

* * *

"Where the hell is Solo?!" Poe Dameron exclaimed, BB-8 following after him down the hallways. Week three of reorganizing the New Order and Poe was about at his wits end with the fact Ben Solo was intimidating to his subordinates and Leia… Well, she just sat back and watched the entire time, and now the former Supreme Leader ran off the _Finalizer_ to galaxy-knows-where. "He keeps avoiding signing off on an expansion of the fleet and now he just up and left?"

Poe had barged into the main common area where Leia and Maz had taken to along with never-ending assistance from C-3PO and R2. Finn had caught his frustrated friend in passing and decided to follow.

Leia seemed unfazed by Poe's rant. "He'll be fine. Let him have this day. It's been stressful for months on end with him."

Poe rubbed his temple. "I get that Leia, but still. We have so much work to finish…"

Lieutenant Mitaka ran in. "Sorry General Organa, but I just got another diplomat who is insisting on marriage for an alliance."

"The _what_ now?" Finn asked with a raised eyebrow before he started laughing rather boisterously. "You mean to tell me people are asking for marriage alliances with Ben Solo? Why?"

Rose walked in right at the perfect time. "Oh, we all know why. When we had that broadcast over the HoloNet weeks ago and everyone saw Ben Solo, Prince of Alderaan, front and center."

Poe sighed. "We don't have time to worry about that, Solo is still missing and I would like to have signature approval on my fleet… Again."

"Whose idea was it to broadcast the fact that a prince was in charge of the New Order?" Leia reminded her hot-shot admiral of the fleet, taking a sip of her tea. "Just tell them he's already married."

"General," C-3PO spoke up. "I'm afraid that other governing bodies will require proof of such a union."

R2 beeped about how Ben and Rey were newly-weds already.

Rose laughed. "R2 is right. Have you seen the way Ben and Rey make eyes at each other for long extended periods of time as if they're having a conversation? I think that's proof enough."

Finn nodded. "I think the entire New Order can agree that they might as well be married."

Poe rolled his eyes. "Yes, we know they both are madly in love for some strange reason and everyone will gossip about it forever."

Mitaka took notes on his datapad. "General Organa?"

Leia waved her hand. "Tell the Prince of the New Order that he can simply just claim his marital status when he returns."

"If he returns," Poe muttered. "How do we know he didn't just up and ditch entirely?"

"If he did ditch then Rey will give him hell," Rose said. "I mean she gave him that scar…"

Poe sighed again in agitation. "Fine, but if he's not back by the end of tomorrow…"

Leia nodded. "We'll send out search parties. Mitaka?"

"Noted, General Organa," he left with a nod and left.

Rose sat down to Leia and Maz. "Leia, may I ask you something?"

Leia looked at the other woman. "Yes?"

"What was it like after the Empire fell and the war ended?"

That got Finn and Poe's attention. The two leaned in closer to hear more clearly. Before Leia could actually say anything, the door suddenly opened and in came Chewie and Lando.

"Where is my nephew? It's his birthday and he just up and leaves?" Lando said with mock outrage. Chewie spoke in agreement.

"Ben wanted to spend the day alone with his wife didn't you know?" Finn joked.

"Since when were they married? And I wasn't even invited to the wedding!" Lando laughed, sitting down from Leia.

Leia gave a smug smile. "Ben and Rey aren't actually married, not yet anyway. Ben took her planetside somewhere."

"Ahh, sweep her off her feet," Lando chuckled.

Rose leaned on her hands, a dreamy glint in her eyes. "Rey is so lucky. So tell me, you were saying Leia?"

Leia closed her eyes in recollection before speaking. "When the war ended, Han was very wary of everything. Peace was hard-earned and there was so much to do with the establishment of the New Republic. I wondered if he even considered marriage with me at all." She said the last sentence with a laugh. "But, on this day, thirty years ago, our son was born and Han finally proposed.

"Han was an attentive father in those early years. Chewie remembers. He wouldn't leave without taking care of Ben first," Leia smiled fondly at the memory.

"Aww," Rose sighed.

"What I want from this new government and here on out," Leia said, her tone very serious. "Is one where children are valued no matter what. Ben spent most of his life isolated and feeling unloved. Rey spent most of her life all alone and abandoned. I for one, don't want a galaxy who fails its own children again, and neither does Ben."

The sentiment was echoed in everyone's minds.

* * *

Rey held the legacy lightsaber—the one that belonged to Anakin Skywalker—for Ben as the pair examined the portrait of Padmé Amidala hanging in a room below the main floors of the estate.

"She's so beautiful," Rey commented in awe. The table set out below it held a candle that was lit and blown out every day by the caretakers in memorial. A singular box sat by the candle, halfway open.

"She is," Ben said, preparing the ceremonial cloth. "Ready?"

Rey placed the lightsaber into the cloth and Ben wrapped it around, placing it into the box. He carried the burden outside and towards the final resting place of the once Queen of Naboo. Once it was buried, the dyad stood in silence, paying their respects with a gentle breeze caressing their skin and hair.

The cycle of killing was over. Truly over.

"Ben?" Rey finally broke the silence. "I want to show you something."

Ben nodded, allowing her to take his hand and drag him away.

Rey pulled him to the wide and open courtyard in front of the estate and told him to wait there as she went back inside for something. When she returned, she had changed out of her silver dress into simple grey robes similar to the ones she wore when she went to him. In one hand was a long semi-staff construct, and the other, Ben's own reconstructed lightsaber. She tossed his weapon to him, naturally catching it in his grip.

"You finished it?" Ben asked.

Rey nodded, smiling as she activated her new saber-staff, twin beams of golden light extending out of both ends. "I challenge you, Ben Organa-Solo, to a duel. For old time's sake?"

He chuckled, activating his own saber, a crossguard with beams of violet. "Of course, Rey."

The two fell into their natural stances.

And clashed, their bond humming with balance.

At some point in their duel, the two felt the fatigue weigh upon them. When Rey knocked Ben's crossguard out of his hand with a knowing smirk, Ben held up his hands in surrender.

"You got me, sweetheart," he said with a cheeky grin.

Rey rolled her eyes and deactivated her saber. "You let me win," she said, sitting down on a bench to cool off.

Ben sat down next to her, his hand reaching for her waist and tugged her close. He brushed a stray hair out of her face. "I will always let you win, Rey."

"Then how am I going to get better hmm?" She said, trailing her finger across his jaw. "If you're going easy on me?"

"Who said I was going easy on you?" He pressed a kiss to her temple, his other hand stroking her hair.

Rey looked up into his eyes. "You're such a flirt, Ben Solo." She leaned forward, pressing her forehead to his. "I want to try something if that's alright?"

Ben closed his eyes. "Yes."

Her hand reached up to his chest, the other reaching for his cheek. Her fingertips traced the scar that trailed there down his eye and down his neck. She breathed in and out, concentrating so hard he couldn't help but hear her thoughts in their bond.

_Breathe._

_Heal._

_Love._

Something warm trailed over his chest, his cheek, his neck, his calf, his shoulder. All the places she wounded him were being touched by a soft caress.

Rey gasped out for air softly, leaning against his chest for support. "It… Worked."

Her hand stroked his cheek. The small ridge forming his scar was gone.

"It really worked," she whispered.

"Why…" Ben swallowed, wondering what he did to deserve this incredible woman. "Why did you do it?"

Rey smiled. "Because it's the least I could do for you, Ben. You've been hurt by so many in your life, I cannot heal those internal wounds but this? I wanted to try. I hurt you, Ben, many times over. I'm surprised that…"

He pressed his thumb to her lips, not willing to let her finish that sentence. "Rey." He brushed his lips over hers.

 _I love you, Rey. I always have. I always will,_ he thought through their bond.

 _I love you too Ben,_ she thought back. _Forever._

As the sunset on them, there was something about the galaxy that felt just right. The past was turned away but not forgotten. The war was over but work was to be done to repair the now-broken cycle of eternal pain and strife.

The dyad blurred together in hues of red and orange, made of two equals. Two that were one.

_The End._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am considering a mini-sequel showing the rebuilding of the galaxy and other shenanigans (Ap'Lek Ren and Temiri are the obvious threads). But this? This is the ending for me. Thank you for reading.


End file.
